“Grace, that hair is such a disaster that the Red Cross wouldn’t even give it a cup of coffee!”
“You mad, fat old cow!”
To the moon, Alice!
I often use on from King of the Hill: “That boy’s just not right.”
“Little Miss Helena Bonham Bloody Carter…”
Absolutely Fabulous (Patsy re: Saffron)
“… I tell you whut.”
I just watched a first-season *Castle *episode in which he referred to his ex-wife as a “deep-fried Twinkie.” Every now and then, it’s a treat; but if you have one every day, it’ll kill you.
“My days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle.”
"Your brain for example - is brain’s so minute, Baldrick, that if a hungry cannibal cracked your head open, there wouldn’t be enough to cover a small water biscuit. "
Another Blackadder:
(on the French) “I hardly think a nation that eags frogs and would go to bed with the kitchen sink if it put on a tutu is in any position to preach couthness”
What a maroon!
Fawlty Towers
Sybil re: Basil “an aging, brilliantined stick insect”
Star Trek TOS “The Trouble with Tribbles”
Nilz Baris “Captain Kirk, I consider your security measures a disgrace. In my opinion, you have
taken this entire very important project far too lightly”
Kirk " On the contrary, sir, I think of this project as very important. It is you I take lightly"
"Bread and Circuses" as Spock and McCoy are forced to fight gladiators
Spock “Need any help, Doctor?”
McCoy “What ever gave you that idea?”
Spock’s opponent “fight, you pointed-eared freak”
McCoy “You tell him, Buster. Of all the completely ridiculous illogical questions I ever heard
in my life”
“I, Claudius” TV series
Sejanus “If Germanicus was profoundly loved, he is also profoundly dead. We are all loved
when we are dead”
Livia I wouldn’t count on that if I were you."
Todd: “Hey Lisa, maybe you ought’a put some band-aids on those two mosquito bites on your chest there.”
Lisa: “Oh, real funny Tod. So funny I forgot to laugh!”
Todd: “Noogies! Noogies!”
Lisa: “Hey quit it, pizza face!”
Todd: “You should lay off the pizza face comments. My mother said that as soon as my acne clears up, I’m gonna be a real looker.”
Lisa: “Oh, yeah. By the time your acne clears up, they’ll be making snowballs down in H-E-double hockeysticks!”
Todd: “Guess I won’t be doing YOU any sexual favors.”
Lisa: “You got that right. I’m saving myself for my one true love - Marvin Hamlisch!”
…and a worthy retort from Fred G. Sanford to Aunt Esther, “I could stick your face in some dough and make gorilla cookies!”
From Blackadder: Edmund is referred to as “arrow fodder” at one point.
“Baldrick, for you the Renaissance was something that happened to other people, wasn’t it?”
“Wicked child!”
“Mrs. Miggins, if we were the last three people left on earth, I’d be trying to start a new race with Baldrick.”
From G.I. Joe (of all places): “You look like something the cat declined to drag in.”
From Rumpole of the Bailey: “If you can find a taxidermist willing to take on the job, get stuffed!”