If you could take a classic network show and remake it, either with the original cast as they were then or with an all new cast, using the HBO/Showtime/premium cable relaxed standards on nudity/profanity/violence, are there any you think would have benefited?
I think perhaps GUNSMOKE. I probably wouldn’t go full on DEADWOOD with it, but it’d be interesting to see it a lot grittier, where Miss Kitty’s girls are, as they would have been, five dollar whores who have to be constantly checked for clap (plus you know Miss Kitty has an enforcer for when they hold out), and the men Matt Dillon shoots that week don’t just hit their chest and die with a little blood on their lapel but go into arterial sprays or have their brains hit the ground or have to chomp down on a belt while Doc saws off their leg. The original version, for all it’s 80 year successful run, was just waaaaaaaay too sanitary for the Old West.
BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER- though mainly because I want to see Xander and Spike nekkid, though I think gorier vampire attacks would aid the drama. (Has Joss Whedon ever done anything for premium cable?)
TAXI- no desire to see Judd Hirsch naked, but I think profanity would have helped it, especially Louis. Most high school shows also (though I can’t think of any off hand)- nobody swears as much as teenaged boys.
LAW AND ORDER- I’m surprised there hasn’t already been a premium cable version with more graphic violence and language. (You don’t really see enough of the detectives and lawyers off duty to easily work in nudity and sex scenes.)
PS- I’ll also expand the OP to include classci movies: any you think would benefit from a NC-17 rating, either as a remake or if made originally as such?
Petticoat Junction. Oh come on. Three young women with no visible means of support living in a hotel in the middle of nowhere with nothing but a train stop to it’s credit? You know they were prostitutes.
I’d second Gunsmoke since it’s obvious that Kitty was a madam.
Firefly. C’mon, you know you want it. Morena Baccarin, Jewel Staite, Summer Glau and Gina Torres…and no nudity? What were they thinking???
In my perfect world, the final episode would have had Jessica confessing to all of the murders that had happened over the course of the show. It would be an episode of flashbacks, and would be based around Nick Cave’s “Curse of Millhaven”. To get Ms. Lansbury in the mood to do the confession scene correctly, I would have her watch Betty White’s performance in Lake Placid.
I also believe that Dark Angel would benefit greatly from the inclusion of nudity on Jessica Alba’s part, and That Seventies Show just works on all kinds of levels. Not Red, though. I’m old enough that he’s still Clarence Botticker from Robocop.
A Team. You would think more people would get shot with all that machine gun fire and that a bunch of hard ass 'Nam vets would swear more.
Dukes of Hazzard I’d like to see a darker version of the show. An evil Boss Hogg, the seedier sides of the moon shine game, a hard edged looks at race issues of the time, that kind of thing. And tits.
One Day at a Time. A show about a sexy single mom and her two nubile daughters demands copious amounts of nudity and near nudity. The original show dreadfully let us down in that respect. Though they couldn’t do nudity in those days, there was no reason for us to not be treated to Bonnie Franklin, McKenzie Phillips, and Valerie Bertinelli prancing about in their undies. The show needed less social preaching and more tits.
And the Star Trek franchise. I know, they came really close in Enterprise, with the decontam gel and all, but almost only counts in horseshoes & hand grenades.
As far as the violence goes, the old series “Combat” (soldiers in combat in WWII) could have used more graphic violence. The sanitized TV series violence made you wonder why the soldiers were so nervous. Being shot didn’t even seem to hurt much. The personal stakes were much more evident in “Saving Private Ryan.”
As far as nudity, the old Busby Berkley musicals could have used it. In some cases Berkley used costuming to good effect. Others, like the human harps, cried out for nudity. I’m also thinking of a certain scene that was parodied in “The Big Lebowski” in which Lebowski does some bowling during a dream sequence. Would have been a LOT more powerful with nudity.
Some of the old historial epics that were excuses for lots of near-nudity, like Sign of the Cross and the 1934 version of Cleopatra, probably could have used nudity and sex to good effect.
And I am so disappointed in you guys for not already having thought of this one: for nudity and sex, Charlies’ Frickin’ Angels.
I think just about any sitcom or tv show that has a married couple as regular cast should have more nudity. It always bothers me when they have the carefully placed sheet, or the wife gets up with her back carefully turned and puts on a shirt. Meh…while we’re not nudist or anything, casual nudity is common in our house. It’s just always jaring when they show these couples that are never naked around each other…even in bed.
