Ever wondered exactly what was being said in the theme songs of your favorite shows? I know that today we can look up the answers online but that wasn’t true back when I was growing up in the 70s and 80s. Please chime in with your “what were they saying?” theme songs.
Here’s one that’s always confused me:
In the Diff’rent Strokes theme song is it “they got nothing but their genes” (because they’re brothers) or “nothing but their jeans” (because they’re poor)?
Heh, interesting question (and post). I always took it as “jeans”, but now that you mention it, it’d be cool to think the songwriter was doing a clever play on words. But I don’t think it’s that deep.
Can’t think of my own example right now, but I’ll chime in later if I do.
From Wikipedia:
A Yiddish saying explains that “a schlemiel is somebody who often spills his soup and a schlimazel is the person it lands on”.
You’re on your own for “hasenpfeffer incorporated”.
Am I right in guessing Laverne was a schlemiel and Shirley was a schlimazel?
For years, I thought the Top Cat theme went “Close friends get to call him TC, or by name it’s Worthington T.” This made no sense to me when I was six or seven, but I kept thinking it anyway.
It wasn’t until I saw it in print around 1980 that I learned it’s “pro-vi-ding it’s with dig-ni-ty.”
Two lines in the All in the Family theme song:
The first line “Boy, the way Glenn Miller played”. I heard “Boy the wiggling millipede”. I thought it was the name of a dance.
And “Gee our old LaSalle ran great”. I couldn’t get this one; I heard “Gee are all the sallan great” but I knew that wasn’t right.
The way I heard it, it’s “beer,” not “soup.”
That line was so notoriously misheard that in later seasons they re-recorded it to be almost comically slow and over-pronounced.
The closing lyrics to WKRP In Cincinnati are not words at all, the singer made up pseudo-words in the studio.
I used to have a copy of the American Bandstand theme, sung by Barry Manilow.
In more than one place, it’s hard to understand what it is he’s saying, but I spent hours listening to this part and still couldn’t tell what it was until I saw it in print:
The singers’ croonin’
He ain’t the greatest, but, gee
My baby’s swoonin’
In front of all of TV
So if you tune in
You’ll see my baby and me
On the Bandstand (Bandstand).
And then Plissken tore up the tape! 
I was so happy when I heard the Gilligan’s Island theme song added “the Professor and Maryann”
I thought they were dissing them.
Always wondered what the lyrics to The Gary Shandling Show theme were.
That was done on the orders of Bob Denver himself, since he thought they were indeed dissed by being called “and the rest.”
The tittles were being redone in color anyway, and Denver thought they deserved to be mentioned by name. (They were also entitled to pay raises at the start of the second season, which they got.)
When the producers pushed back, Bob said “Fine, then move me from the start of the titles to the end,” which he could do under the terms of his contract. The producers caved in, so “and the rest” became “the Professor and Mary Ann.”
And y’know, it’s not like we’re talking about a whole boatload of people (if you’ll pardon the expression), “…and the rest” is two friggin’ people! How hard is it to squeeze two more people in?
Maybe they didn’t know what “role” to assign Mary Ann in the theme song (“Kansas farm girl” was probably too many syllables) so they just said screw it, it’s “and the rest”.
Which were supposed to be only temporary but TPTB loved 'em and said, essentially, “don’t bother!”
Works for me — they’re great!
Oh really?
As a kid I was bothered by not knowing what they were saying in the theme to this cartoon, particularly the last 5 seconds. As an adult in 2025, with the assistance of the whole internet and deep learning AI, we can now confidently say the answer is: fuck knows.
Oh, that’s just awful on so many levels.
The story I heard (maybe on this very board) was that the initial theme song was composed before the full cast of characters was figured out. So the Professor and Mary Ann weren’t slighted or dissed, they just didn’t make the cut.
As @terentii pointed out, kudos to Bob Denver to fight the status quo after that, and get them included.