Somehow I picked up the ‘dignity’ part even though much of the rest like most sing lyrics I couldn’t pick up most of the words.
Seth MacFarlane did the same thing with Stewie’s half of the line “All the things that make us laugh and cry” in the Family Guy theme song, because he was tired of people mishearing it as “…effin’ cry.”
My dad had a Johnny Cash album where he made up his own lyrics to the Bonanza theme song.
And he did a throwaway joke about it in another episode. Peter is climbing stairs, and to get himself psyched up (“come on, you do this all the time in the opening credits”) he starts humming the theme song. You then hear him say “I swear he says the F word”.
And memorably sung by the occasional character Paul in an episode of Cheers.
There’s also this version with alternate lyrics:
I kinda like Lorne Green’s version:
At one point, I made up my own because I couldn’t remember either:
Far-iddle-o and biddle-leedle-o, Bonanza! Far-iddle-o and a biddle-leedle-o, the Ponderosa Ranch!
Sung by the Cartwright’s what? 
You quoted the wrong dude.
Sorry about that, Chief! 
You aren’t Jewish, are you? Any “member of the tribe” would know that “schlemiel/schlimazel” is DEFINITELY soup. Consult The Joys of Yiddish.
Guilty as charged, though I suspect my Great-Grandma Matkevich back in Austria-Hungary was.
The old “quote the wrong dude” trick, huh? Third time this week. 
“I’m almost halfway finished” is the line I sing in my head (and confirmed on a lyrics search.) All these years and I barely remember watching the show, but that theme song is seared into my brain. There’s a couple more lines after that, but I remember it to where you stopped.
Yeah, I’ve had my doubts about “It’s only one more minute” since I posted that. Maybe it was, “It only took a minute,” but your “It’s only halfway finished” sounds closer to what I remember.
Thanks for the reminder, and I guess it’s true: no matter how obscure the question, some Doper will be able to respond with something substantial. Two of us who remember the Garry Shandling Show’s theme song from almost 40 years ago? Well, yeah, that’s what we do.
Again, thanks for the reminder.
I will recite it from my memory:
This is the theme to Garry’s show
The theme to Garry’s show
Garry phoned me up and asked if I would write his theme song
I’m almost halfway finished
How do you like it so far?
How do you like the theme to Garry’s show?This is the theme to Garry’s show
The opening theme to Garry’s show
This is the music that you hear as you watch the credits
I’m almost to the part
Of where I start to whistle
Then you can watch It’s Garry Shandling’s Showwhistles theme tune
The opening theme to Garry Shandling’s show.
Nice! Don’t remember a single episode of it, but clearly have recollections of liking it if I’ve seen it enough to remember half the theme song. I wonder if it’s worth digging it up.
Very well done, @GuanoLad ! Yes, that’s it!
I do remember the show. It broke the fourth wall in all directions. I remember the show where Garry went out for a bit, and the studio audience, getting bored, took over—sitting in his living room, watching his TV, reading his magazines, looking in his kitchen, and so on. Then Garry returned, and the audience ran back to their seats before he found them in his home.
Great memory, @GuanoLad , and well done. Thank you!
Thanks to the miracle of multiple tabs, it’s possible for me to fact-check @GuanoLad on YouTube and post verification here before I have a chance to screw anything up.
This is the theme to Garry’s show
The theme to Garry’s show
Garry called me up and asked if I would write his theme song
I’m almost halfway finished
How do you like it so far?
How do you like the theme to Garry’s show?
This is the theme to Garry’s show
The opening theme to Garry’s show
This is the music that you hear as you watch the credits
We’re almost to the part
Of where I start to whistle
Then we’ll watch It’s Garry Shandling’s Show
whistles theme tune
This is the theme to Garry Shandling’s show.
Excellent work guano, hardly worth a Doper nitpick
That’s gratifying. I was hoping to get It’s Garry Shandling’s Show on DVD, but it was several hundred dollars so that was not gonna happen. Maybe it’s available elsewhere.