Which I also do, and get steamed.
Y’know, I’ve been thinking about doing a 360 on them.
Once I accept that it’s really not the 100 bucks a year (max) this is costing me, and that I DO have other friends I would (and do) choose to spend my time with after work, friends who are, you know, respectful and helpful and understanding and, well, you know, friendly, and that I need to maintain a relationship with these guys for business purposes, instead of resenting their maddening practices, I’ll go them one further.
I think, if I go out to dinner with them again, next time, I’m going to INSIST on picking up the entire bill–“Your money is no good here, you guys have been so helpful to me over the years, I’d never be where I am today if it weren’t for the two of you, this is the least I can do to show my appreciation, you always have my back at work,” etc. almost to the pointing of making them nauseated. (To an extent, as **Plynck ** points out, it is all true in a narrow but very real sense.)
If they take me up on my offer, which is entirely possible, I’ll at least get some credit for generosity, and I won’t resent it since it would be a simple business expense: I need to wine and dine these guys in all but quid-pro-quo acknowledgment of what they’ve done and will do for my career. I can live with that, much more than I can live with having infuriating friends who treat me shabbily.
I hope this doesn’t seem like spinning my wheels, but this conversation (in the Pit) is really helping me to see this in perspective, for what it really is.