Two kinds of people

Splitter!

I just lost my XBox to the "red circle o’ death’.:frowning:

Cmon haven’t you heard there are only two types of people: those who divide everybody into two groups and those who don’t?

“I guess there’s just two kinds of people, Miss Sandstone: my kind of people, and assholes. It’s rather obvious which category you fit into. Have a nice day.” ~ Connie Marble

And yet… the message board itself is like a Commodore64 text-based adventure game. No graphics, limited features and commands, and one wrong move and you’ll be eaten by a Grue.

You’re in a dark cave. Yet you feel the presence of a thousand eyes. You can barely make out an old wooden door with a rusty door knob just a few feet ahead. The cave entrance is to the south.

> turn knob

It’s rusted shut.

You’re in a dark cave. Yet you feel the presence of a thousand eyes. You can barely make out an old wooden door with a door knob too rusty to turn just a few feet ahead. The cave entrance is to the south.

> i

You have a dictionary, Google, Wikipedia, a Masters in MBA, and some pan-fried semen.

> use semen

You eat the semen, now you have to puke.

You’re in a dark cave. Yet you feel the presence of a thousand eyes. You can barely make out an old wooden door with a rusty door knob just a few feet ahead. The cave entrance is to the south.

> puke on door knob

This loosens the rust, and you open the door. Behold! A giant troll will not let you enter unless you answer his riddle: What isn’t garbage but you throw it out with the trash every time?

> a garbage bag

The troll frothes at the mouth and asks, “Cite?”

> s

You turn to exit the cave, but before you can, you’re eaten by a Grue.

Play again? Y/N

Y
I was expecting the troll’s riddle to be about “14 k of g in a f p d.”

> 14 kilograms of garbage in a fully packed drawstring-bag