Two sentences, please. Don’t make me repeat that ever again.
The new stricter board rules had really cut down on the number of returning trolls.
And as a bonus, the moderators had shared a number of useful tips regarding the removal of bloodstains.
i suddenly awoke only to see the large silhouette of what looked like a man but not quite a man. It purposely and silently moved towards me.
“Ah finally, I’m all alone,” I said to myself as I sat in my bedroom at midnight.
“No you’re not,” said Knife Guy.
At long last after twelve hours of hard labour the new mother finally heard the wailing scream that let her know that her little bundle of joy had finally taken its first breath. But it was the doctor who was screaming not the baby.
“Do you think there’s anything to eat in this forest?”
“Yes,” said his companion, “us.”
-“BB”-
An old one, from before I was born:
“You’ve sealed us in!” The young man cried, as the young woman pulled the vault door shut.
“No, just you,” She said, vanishing through the wall.
The sound of a baby crying somewhere in the forest.
A cougar’s snarl then silence.
I just got the results back from one of those mail-order DNA/genealogy companies and I can’t wait to see if I’m related to royalty.
MY FATHER IS LSLGuy, AAAAAAAH!!
I’ve lost all my baby teeth.
Dammit - it took me ages to pull them out of the skulls.
The magistrate said I can’t babysit kids any longer.
I guess I’ll have to find another way to collect more baby teeth.
My ex showed up at my front door.
I could see clear through her, dropped my drink, and screamed.
Donald Trump had an affair with Sarah Palin.
Fast forward 60 years; under President Donnie Palin’s tenure, the USA became Margaret Atwood’s Gilead.
I quite like this one.
ETA:
I don’t understand.
Thank you; I realized later that I kinda ripped off Malcolm McDowell’s Time After Time – can you envision David Warner in a Mr. Peabody cartoon? Of course, you can!
2 cups of vanilla extract is a horrendously large amount for a batch of 12 cookies.
Ahhhhh, I didn’t register the amounts - I just read it as ingredients.
Thanks!
You darn right I can, ha ha.
He wondered why his wife was acting so strangely as they ate her risotto made with mushrooms she had hunted that day. “Honey, I saved us some money by getting a BOGO at the mortuary.” she cooed.