Ugly American cuisine

Sharp cheddar and apples are wonderful together. Yum! :slight_smile:

I have a jar of Zatarain’s in my cupboard. The label says it’s “produced from the leaves of the native sassafras tree.”

It’s not.

Oh! Fried mush! Yoou take the leftover grits, put them in a loaf pan, cool until they congeal, slice and fry. Top with butter and your favorite syrup–I like maple but I understand you folks don’t.

But it is truth in advertising. Covers up any new flavors if you forgot to refrigerate the pizza, too.

Never said I was a good cook. I’m just better than my kids. And I have never, in my life, said that sausage gravy was edible. And Bobby Flay from NYC has even less Southern Cuisine street cred than I do. :wink:

I would agree if I were making sausage gravy. Which I’m not because when I was a Minnesotan living in Virginia sausage gravy, biscuits, and grits were too bland for me! Try to imagine any foods that were too bland for an Irish-Norskie from St Paul. :eek:

They cooked the shit out of what should’ve been heavenly hams, too. Barbaric place.

You have to use well-seasoned sausage (like Jimmy Dean’s) and load the sauce with lots of freshly-ground black pepper. Otherwise it tastes like the flour paste we used to make for art projects back in grade school. Yeccch!

Really? I have had it in my pantry as a staple for all my life, my dad as well. There is a ton on the shelf at Woolworths & Coles and everyone I know seems to have some?
Yes I also have Sweet Chili Sauce but that is a different beast all together.

Oh on Turnips, yes we have them roasted but not much flavour,

Inappropriate cheese is bad. For instance, cheese belongs nowhere near fish. McDonald’s putting cheese on a fish sandwich made me think I didn’t like fish when I was a little kid. Thankfully, I grew out of it.

I’d just rather they quit trying to slather burgers (or any other damn food) in cheese sauce. Bleah, it’s just going to make the whole thing wet and soggy! We have already solved how to make a burger cheesy, you put a slice of cheese on it. Keep the queso for dipping your chips.

Needed more butter and Tabasco. That’s a pretty safe rule of thumb for just about any food.

McDonald’s Filet o’ Fish is utterly devoid of flavor, including the cheese. No wonder you hated fish.

God, that shit’s vile. And, again, tasteless. A complete waste of calories.

I’ve always thought turnips were an integral part of Irish stew. No? :confused:

I also had mashed turnips recommended to me as an accompaniment to haggis by a Brit. Whether the Scots would boil or roast them first, I don’t know.

Oddly enough, in Moscow, the Root Vegetable Capital of the World, I had to hunt for them when I wanted to make Irish stew. I finally found some in a pricey “gourmet” supermarket.

I put them in lamb curry too, along with sweet potatoes, carrots, et cetera.

If that’s the case, you’re likely not cooking the flour enough. Let it cook in the fat rendered from the sausage for a bit (make a roux, basically) before adding the liquid. I also add ground fennel, because I like the combination of sage and fennel flavors together. I also add a few chunks of butter at the end. Also fry up some bacon when I’m in the mood and add that. Southerners don’t know how to eat right.

I remember watching The Frugal Gourmet cooking sausage gravy back in the '80s. So far as I remember, he didn’t cook the flour beforehand, a bad habit that must now be rectified.

Ignorance fought!

I remember being in Tennerife and ordering Mexican food expecting some kind of bite, it was bland so we ducked over the road to the local shop and from that day on we all carried Tabasco sauce with us for all meals!

The main taste are sugar and salt.

I would offer the friendly amendment that your last comment applies to Southerners other than Louisianians. For all that I’ve lived in Texas for many years now, I’m still baffled that they eat that pallid paste they call “gravy”.

I can’t hate casseroles because they are the height of inoffensive dishes. I sort of hate what they stand for, but they’re largely palatable. That said, I still bitch whenever my wife makes one. Tater tot casserole night is see what’s in the fridge night for me.

The best grits I ever had were shrimp and grits with a fire-roasted tomato remoulade and crispy bacon. You put those three things over cardboard, and it’ll taste great.

This is a holdover from an era where freezers and therefor icecream weren’t common. It’s a way to get some dairy with your apple pie. It is surprisingly not bad – if you have a nice piece of sharp cheddar.

I started making Jacque Pepin’s pumpkin gratin after I heard him speak about how he grew up with pumpkin as a savory dish. It is always a hit once people get it through there heads that pumpkin does NOT inherently taste like the spices and sugar in pumpkin pie.

I’ve never met anyone who doesn’t like Dr. Pepper. I’ve always viewed it more akin to cola than rootbeer. Like a cola that’s got a lot of other flavors going on. I get the rootbeer comparison too. Then again, there’s so much goddamn sugar in the stuff, I think as long as you drink it as a kid, you’re hooked.


All in all, I think the foodie revolution has hit America hard in the last decade. We will always have meat and potato bores, and TGI-Chilibee’s and Red Lobsters and Olive Gardens as far as the SUVs can drive. But between the foodie interest and internet - people are cooking more fresh, interesting, exotic, wordly foods at home.

The whole point of that show is to freak you out with the portion sizes.

I am an American, and I consider “vomit candy” an apt term for Hershey’s.

Seriously, I had never heard of fried chicken and waffles until a few years ago.

Nitpick: Tabasco

What do they stand for?

Thoughtless, bland, slabs of one-size-fits all, old people glop. They call to mind 50s post-war surburbia Americana – the age where housewives stopped using good old cast iron and stopped cooking from scratch. Sandra Lee style cooking-as-assembly of pre-cooked and preserved foods. Mid-western exceptionalism (they’re not). And funerals and potlucks. Casseroles are the flagship dish for people whose spice racks consist of salt and pepper and perhaps a tin of mummified bay leaves for when they really want to get crazy.

Yeah, but they were quick and cheap and could be prepared by someone who didn’t know how to cook, and God knows the cookbooks of the time were no help teaching them (see Lileks).

If it tastes good and you enjoy it what does it matter what it “stands for”. Why attach such symbolism to food? “Old people glop”? Geeze dude, that’s kind of bigoted isn’t it?

And that’s, overall, pretty patronizing. Did you ever see a Midwest grocery store back then? Fresh fruits and vegetables only when they were “in season,” so we were stuck with canned. I walk through a modern supermarket and marvel at how small the canned food section is and that you can get a banana in November; it used to be that you didn’t see them before February. And I lived in a freakin’ suburb where the IGA was one step beyond the old-time general store it had once been.

I was raised on that glop and still get a nostalgic taste for a nice hot dish.

It’s only patronizing, if I use a time machine to troll 50s housewives. Like you said, grocery stores are infinitely better stocked. I don’t begrudge the old school, but there are so many better options for dinner now.