UK Budget

The BBQ Pit
1

The spunk-bubbling, arsewipe, whoremongering twat of a Chancellor has increased the price of a packet of 20 cigarettes by 11p, a pint of beer is up by 4p and a bottle of spirits increases by 55p.

Well that’s fucking that, I’m going to have to cut back on most everything in order to feed my nicotine habit., not to mention my occasional foray into the battle cruiser.

Petrol/fuel increases by 2p per litre but in his kindness this is defrayed until October…gee thanks you cocksucker…for fuck all!

On the good side winter fuel payments increase from £200 to £250…well goody goody bollocks

Thanks a bunch Darling,may your cock rot, fall off and be eaten by rabid ferrets.

Bastard, bastard, bastard

2

You seem a tad wound up. Maybe you should have something to drink and a smoke.

3

My mother finally had enough with regards to the price of 'bacca a couple of months ago. Now, occasionally, she goes on a day trip to Belgium via coach. The coach trip costs her £35. She pays £3.65 for what she would normally pay £11+ for over here. She is legally allowed to import 3kg, for personal use, which I think ends up as 60 packs of 'bacca.

£254 as opposed to £660+, the only drawback being stuck in a coach for 18 hours. Oh, and you can’t smoke on the coach…

It’s saved her a lot of money.

4

Also, probably some Belgians around.

5

And the Chancellor wonders why so many Brits are taking cheap flights and screwing up the economy? It’s 'cos they’ve all worked out that it’s cheaper to fly and buy than to stay here.

What really tweaks me about the budget is the booze hike – it’s not going to help problem drinking much 'cos the big supermarkets will just absorb the difference. If Tesco can sell chickens for two quid they can eat a few pence on a bottle of spirits to get people through the door.

If he really cared he needed to put rules in for booze retailers limiting how much they can discount the stuff, but he doesn’t because it’s all about the revenue.

SD

/is coincidentally off to Belgium this afternoon anyway

6

Yeah it’s all about the revenue. I don’t think there’s really much debate on that.

2p more on fuel?
Works out to roughly £16 per year for me.

It costs me more when interest rates go up by 0.25% so forgive me if I don’t get excited about that.

I find nothing surprising in the new budget, same old shit really.

7

Could you bring me a few hundred ciggies back please?

8

Let’s say you do 14K miles per year commuting and average 7 miles per litre. So you’re using 2000 litres. That’s £40 on a travel cost of about £2100. That doesn’t sound so bad. But wait! About76% of the total price is tax. So on a fuel bill of £2100 - which, remember, you pay after you’ve paid income tax - you’re paying over £1600 in tax. And to pay that £2100, you have to earn about £3000, more if you’re a higher rate taxpayer. Not so good now, is it?

9

At the prices I’m going to have to pay in the near future I’ll be drinking tap water and smoking old newspapers.

The fucking blob of coagulated camel spunk aka Chancellor.

By all that’s holy I really hope the fucker finds his wife in bed with a whippet stuck up her greasy snatch