Not a movie, but when I was kid, as far as I was concerned, the television show “MacGyver” was the height of human accomplishment. I recently dow-- acquired the complete series, and everything about it, the plots, the acting, the dialog was hilariously cheesy.
I watched every episode, even season 7 when they turned into 45 minute PSAs. Then I watched the movies. One of the two movies, “The Lost Treasure of Atlantis”, had a scene near the end where they were waiting for a planetary alignment to happen to activate some ancient mechanism. They kept showing shots of the sky, and the planet were all visible in detail to the naked eye. They looked like little ping-pong balls. This made me snicker a bit, but not to much, but then they showed another shot where this goofy red comet went sailing across the screen, and I completely lost it. I had to pause the movie.
Oh, there are definately some good aspects to the show. Much of the production design really kicked ass. But overall, it’s just so DREARY. And even though it’s meant to be that way, it was a bad decision on the part of the producers.
For some examples of truly awful stop motion, watch some older Tim Burton movies. Batman, Beetle Juice, and The Nightmare Before Christmas, I’m looking at you.
I remember hearing this technique described on some behind-the-scenes show one time as “go motion”.
I haven’t seen Beetlejuice in probably close to 20 years, and I don’t remember any stop motion in Batman, but if you think the stop motion in Nightmare is “truly awful” then you either haven’t seen much stop motion or you just hate the technique. It doesn’t get much better than that.
I’ve seen plenty, and much better than that. Actually, it’s pretty good, but there’s a scene where Sally turns her head and waves her hair that comes off as pretty awful.
The scene in Batman that I’m thinking of is towards the beginning when he’s on the roof, and you mostly see his cast shadow. It looks incredibly fake.
Yeah, it scared the hell out of me when I was a kid; I had nightmares of heads rolling down stairs for days. I saw it a couple of years ago, and it was just lame. Also, referring to the “county” sheriff in Louisiana took me right out of the movie (Louisiana has parishes, not counties).
Nope, it’s still a great flick, at least as far as I’m concerned, the anachronisms. stilted speech, and all.
No, Dynamation was just a fancy name for regular old stop motion. Go motion used motion control to introduce motion blur to each frame of the puppet as it moved, to remove the jerkyness that cursed stop motion. It was first used to do the dragon in “Dragonslayer” iirc.
I thought Nightmare Before Christmas was amazing. I remember Beetlejuice having some rough scenes, but NBC - just look at his expressions!
For me it’s definitely Short Circuit, which I adored as a child. Whatever little bit was left in it was killed by WALL-E. Also Neverending Story. I only read the book now.
Just out of curiosity: Did you read the book before you saw the Neverending Story or after? (I never liked the movie because I already had read the book)
Speaking of TV shows I loved as a child that are completely retarded now: H.R. Pufnstuf. I loved this show when I was five years old and didn’t remember much of it, except that I loved it when I was five. I ran into an old friend a couple years ago and he had DVD’s of the entire run on his shelf. Ignoring his warning, I tried to watch them. It really didn’t work. The commentary was even worse. Jack Wild sounds like he has some sort of speech impediment, possibly exacerbated by drinking.
I found Billy Jack in a thrift store but haven’t had the courage to try watching it again.
I think I liked Damnation Alley when I first saw it, which I also bought at a thrift store. Another mistake on my part.
The first movie I ever saw, I think, was Mary Poppins. I remembered being enchanted with the fundamental idea and experience of going to the movies but falling asleep in the car seat (drive-in, of course) long before the end of the movie. My folks bought me the soundtrack album, so I knew the songs well enough as an adult but had only the faintest dim fuzzy recall of the movie itself. Plot, such as I did recall of it, sounded promising: Julie Andrews as a prim yet decided non-stuffy governess with some working-class connections etc.
Rented the movie.
I think I fell asleep the second time around, too. There’s almost no movie aside from the songs. “Production numbers” I think they call them. Thin excuse for a plot is just stretched over the song-and-dance items enough to knit them together superficially. I hate it when musicals are like that. I don’t mind an occasional throw-in tune that was shoehorned in when it really has nothing to do with the movie (e.g., the silly Lonely Shepherd Boy song with the yodeling in Sound of Music) but not when the “movie” starts to feel like it was written solely to connect the dots between unrelated songs.
I had forgotten how much I hated Dick Van Dyke’s “acting” in his first half-century.
Saw Robin Hood: Men in Tights last night and it was just jaw-droppingly awful. All the wit and pacing of a 3rd grade classroom skit. In comedy, timing is everything, and this movie missed the beat on every single gag. The physical comedy was just awful, as were the fight scenes. C’mon, we know Cary Elwes can fake an impressive sword fight, so why not hire some choreographers and have a fight scene that doesn’t look like two 10 year old boys whacking each other with sticks?
Not to mention the constant “Hey, I just made a joke, did you get it?” lamp shading. Naming the black guy Sheriff of Rottingham without comment would have been amusing. Having the townspeople gasp, “Whoever heard of a black sheriff?” was “Yeah, yeah, we get it.” Having one of Robin’s stooges say “It worked in Blazing Saddles” was lame.
When I was in sixth grade, it was Tales of the Golden Monkey, a complete ripoff of the first Indiana Jones movie.
I loved it. You had Jake, the cynical pilot, his one-eyed dog, Corky, the mechanic, Sarah, the British spy, and the tavern they all hung out in, run by Roddy McDowell. It was set in a group of Pacific islands in the late 1930s. Imperial Japan was the arch-baddie. Lots of subplots on the island itself. Even now, typing it up, it sounds like a great set up.
I caught it again in my late teens/early 20s. I couldn’t watch it for more than five minutes. I was squirming in my seat, it was so bad.
Don’t bother, it sucks harder than Linda Lovelace. This was the movie I came in to mention.
I saw SGT Bilko with Steve Martin when I was drunk with a whole bunch of other drunk soldiers in the base theater, and it was fucking hilarious. When I rented it on DVD and tried to watch it while sober, I couldn’t get halfway through.
I saw a fun little movie named They Call Me Bruce when I was 15. I recently sat my wife through it, and while she enjoyed it, I thought it was embarrassingly corny.
I . . . ummmm . . . still . . . sort of like The Black Hole.
And don’t worry about Excalibur. That’s still an awesome movie, if for no other reason than Helen Mirren and Nicol Williamson shooting real-life hate rays at each other with every line they speak.
I’ve been dying to see this movie again for years. I saw it at midnight when I was around 16 and was TOTALLY IN LOVE with the Arthurian legends. But the only thing I really remember is a scene where someone in armor (Uthur Pendragon?) has sex/rapes a woman. OUCH is what I recall thinking.
“John Boorman cast Nicol Williamson and Helen Mirren opposite each other as Merlin and Morgana, knowing that the two were at the time on less than friendly terms, due to personal issues that arose during a production of Macbeth seven years earlier. Boorman felt that the tension on set would come through in the actors’ performances. This is stated by John Boorman himself in the audio commentary track of the Excalibur DVD.”
And yes, I sort of got that vibe between them while watching.
