What’s a good investment for 1000 - 1500 dollars?
I’ve got a very small bridge here.
Laser printer recommendations for envelope feeding?
Start with Oki 10ppm desktop models until your envelope is fully weaned. It should then be ready to move on to stand-alones.
Suppose you won the Lottery, how would you claim it?
For Spain. Duh.
Is this a normal child’s behavior?
After seeing your family? Definitely.
Tailgaters – why do you do it?
You honestly expect me to sit through a Jets game sober?
My Toddler Thinks He’s A Hamster- Advice?
Fund his college education renting him out to Richard Gere.
Ever used FamilySearch.org?
Poor kid, still thinks Mom and Dad “forgot” to tell him they were moving.
I’d murder for a bloody fag
You COULD just buy them like everyone else, you know. Of course, then you’ll have to bloody them yourself.
Ogre again pleads to Internet strangers for emotional succor
I’m sure you’ll understand, therefore, why it pains me so much to have to tell you to piss off and die.
Shit we aussies got culture
Grammar, not so much.
I wanna shoot a tranger
What a trange thing to say in public.
Suppose you won the lottery, how would you claim it?
I’d show them my ticket and say, “Can I have my money, please?”
Things to do in Vegas
I hear some people like to gamble.
The limits of "It’s my body"
Pretty much where “It’s not my body” begins.
Aren’t you tired of all the global warming crap?
Are you kidding? I never get tired of all the global warming crap!
First overseas travel (amsterdam) what do I need to know
- The first letter of the city name is usually capitalized. 2. In case you are having trouble finding it, it’s in the Netherlands.
Ooh, ooh, forgot a few:
Poll: What’s under your bed
Planet Earth, last I checked.
What’s on your antenna?
The head of that fool who cut me off on I-45 yesterday.
Jesus says it’s WRONG to kill!
Yeah, well, what guy about to get nailed to a cross wouldn’t?
My Toddler Thinks He’s A Hamster- Advice?
Fill the water bottle every day, change the newspaper at least once a week, and get him a wheel – they love that.
My Toddler Thinks He’s A Hamster- Advice?
Please, have him send a job application to the Straight Dope Message Board.
Things couldn’t possibly get any worse!!!
This one was too good to resist, from IMHO:
Does this look like Jesus?
-Good Og, NO! And put your pants back on!
And while I’m at it:
Lets do it in Software
- (… this one practically writes itself, folks) Gee, don’t you think we should get a room instead?
Recommend a Perl scripting book. Please?
-Okay, try Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Repair. Hey, you never said it had to be a GOOD Perl scripting book.
From Cafe Society:
piracy or not piracy?
-I’ll have the chicken, please.
OR, alternately:
-That is the question
Whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous lawsuits
Or to take arms against a sea of lawyers
And by opposing go bankrupt. To cheat, to steal–
No more–and by a steal to say we end
The paying, and the thousand natural dollars
That music is heir to. 'Tis a consumption
Devoutly to be wished. To cheat, to steal–
To steal–perchance to enjoy: ay, there’s the rub,
For in that theft of music what fines may come
When we have shuffled off this iTunes,
Must make us hit “pause.”
I got a papercut in my nose.
Quit snorting confetti
Age of the earth - Hebrew scholars
= still a bunch of dinosaurs
Nader wants to nationalize the auto industry?
Unsafe at any speed
In reincarnation supported by the Bible?
Maybe, but not by reality
History what if: Lincoln not assassinated.
He’d still be dead by now
Can women truly become lesbian by choice?
How much cash and alcohol do you have on you?
Ha! Finally my username comes into its own :).
Of course, replace “Security Council” with “U.S.” and you can reverse your answer :).
**Explain how Satan designed the Great Seal of the USA! **
I’m pretty sure he used a Mac.
Anybody Got It All Together - Truly?
Yes. You wouldn’t believe how much duct tape it took.
(Alternatively: Yes. Biggest Katamari ever.)
Must I participate in the spoiling of your kids?
Well, he’s not getting an Xbox 360 from me.
Poll: How picky are you about food left in the fridge?
Less picky than I am about food left in the garbage.
A job dilemma- should I stay or should I go, now?
Your coworkers took a poll, and were in agreement: go.
What do they call it if you can’t wake up from anaesthesia?
Death.
What Would Cause Bottle Caps to Loosen?
Have you tried turning it?
Hollywood leans left: why?
Land tends to slope down toward the ocean.
What if the Information Age had started earlier?
It would be over sooner.
Experiences getting a recreational pilot’s license.
In the “Reason for license” field, do not write “Shits and giggles.”