I don’t know if this is a US thing, but I’ve never understood “um” as :rolleyes: . I’ve always interpreted it as shorthand for “I could be mistaken, but…”. And that strikes me as polite rather than rude.
I’ve been “ummed” at once on the Boards that I remember, when fellow Brit Gary Kumquat pointed out that my cite was in opposition to my argument. The “um” softened the blow a little.
Um, OP have um stick up um ass. :rolleyes:
Probably in responding to me, XT, and I didn’t take offense at it at all. I know that I have done this in the past, and condescension was never the intent. I don’t think you should refrain; skin must be a bit thin for this to rankle. In a medium where vocal inflections and facial expressions are not available, this is just another tool for communicating our thoughts.
With respect to “Wait for it…”; I had thought it was a quote from the Monty Python “Confuse-a-Cat” skit. Maybe just a coincidence…
This however, got me a bit irritated (bolding mine):
I’ve been in discussions and debates in this board, and as long as a fellow poster is literate, interesting and thoughtful, I am happy to read what they have to say, whether I agree with them or not. I feel no need to put a limit on the length of their speech.
Man, I *totally * missed the point of that movie… 
Well you know Food = Good, Yeah that’s the ticket.
Jim
I also dislike the use of “Um,” as well as :rolleyes: . Yes, I am a condescending assholist. Fortunately, the world still turns.
The OP is right on, and it’s not lame, and he doesn’t have a stick up his ass. It’s advice concerning the improvement of message board discourse which a lot of people could use frequent reminders of (and I’m not excluding myself from that).
Typical usage of ‘um’ is after a poster innocently asked a question that may have already been answered and the use of ‘um’ is just a dullard’s way of condescending to that person.
Such as if someone now searched the SDMB, found a post from 3 years where the OP used “um” in the pitted manner, and posted
<Phony link in which OP used umm>
Ummmm. . . .
Which actually might be funny in this instance ONLY, but in no other instance whatsoever.
It’s the kind of childish crap you find on lesser boards and the type of behavior that should be identified and eradicated because next thing you know we’d all be typing umm is teh suXX0rs.
Um, no he is not, yes it is, yes he does, an so do you um, apparently.
Who died and left sanctimonious self-righteous pricks in charge of what is or is not funny?
Um, you seem to know alot about the childish crap that goes on on so called lesser boards…
Um, sometimes I am a condescending bitch. It happens when posters say really, really stupid shit or are being especially holier-than-thou. Like now.
And you Binarydrone are part of that great pattern. (cue lion king music) just as the gazelles eat the grass, and the lions eat the gazelles and then the lions become the grass the great circle of life works here on the Straight Dope. First, people write in a style that displeases you. You grit your teeth but you bottle it up. Then you get sick of it and explode in the pit, then everyone writes in the style that bothers you. The circle of life is complete.
Cute Zebra, I notice you did not mention lions eating Zebras (heh). Just wait untill he rages against people who type “(cue some music)” type stuff. Where will this fascist nazi oppression end? Won’t somebody think of the children?
stands and applauds Fish, that is the single best post I’ve seen, lo these many weeks.
Wow, the things you learn on this board. I’d never equate “um” with “rolleyes”. Just the opposite in fact. I use “um” in the ‘lessening the blow’, hesitancy way. Ya know, trying to be polite. The rolleyes I’d use to indicate disdain. I was sitting here trying them out IRL just to make sure.
And I’d like to thank The Weird One for quoting Fish’s post, I skimmed it the first time and totally missed its posty goodness.
Starting a post with “Um,” can definitely be annoying. It really depends on how it’s used. It’s really annoying when it’s the beginning of a post that criticizes another post, like “Um, you spelled that word wrong” or “Um, you’re wrong about that”. I used to do that, and I didn’t know how annoying it came off until it was pointed out in an older pit thread about this topic.
Otherwise it’s not so bad.
This thread is driving my crazy with deja vu. I would swear on my life that I saw this exact rant verbatim on here a year or so ago, but I am apparently incapable of locating it via search.
Um. Brella.
Um. Pteen.
Um. Bilical
Um.
Tomato wasn’t it?
"Um"s are a good way of flushing out people who are asking something innocently/honestly and those who are just ranting because someone else annoyed them and they want to take it out on others 
Hello. My name is Nic2004 and I am an Um user. I freely admit it here. I do however add that I usually use it in the uncertain verbage mentioned like “Um, I’m not sure, but didn’t he say…” kinda way.
I will be aware of it in the future but make no promises.
On the other hand, there’s some really funny shit in here.
…and more. Funny stuff.
As to the sprit of the OP. I love the way people are able to convey a converstional quality to the typed word. It really helps me to hear the tone of the humor or sarcasm they are trying to convey.
About time I catchsup?
Same here. Except I didn’t bother to try searching. And I probably wouldn’t swear on my LIFE that it was verbatim, but it reminds me a lot of the previous one.
I used to post on another MB that had very few actual rules (mostly “don’t be a jerk” like here), but absolutely forbade the use of “Um” to start a post with.
They said it was because nine times out of ten, an “um” is used to start a post that is snotty and disrespectful.
IMO, this board would be a good deal less interesing without the snotty and disrespecful members. Viva la Um!