I notice at Toastmasters they have a special ‘vocal pause’ counter designed to eliminate vocal pauses. It’s as if it is inherent to humans to ummm . . .
Why is this? Is it universal or just cultural? Why do we do it so much but yet hate it when others do it?
I think its commonest purpose is to allow the speaker time to think.
Yeah, I think it’s a verbal way of indicating that you are thinking about what to say next, but you aren’t actually done speaking yet (which just remaining silent might indicate).
umm i dunno, thinking i guess.
To me it’s obvious why we do umms and errrs during speech but not in writing.
It’s because in face-to-face conversations these days, people lack the bare minimum of social skills and do not follow the rules of politeness. They believe their own views are more important than anyone else’s - and they take ANY & EVERY opportunity they can to cut in and interrupt another person and start talking over them.
People use umms and errrs as a way of preventing interruption. It’s a way of saying “don’t start talking over me, I’m not done yet!”
In formal situations such as group presentations & lectures & formal talks, interruptions rarely happen… but this technique of speaking is so ingrained into people from their bad experiences in ordinary conversation, that people can’t help themselves and continue to use it, even when the chances of interruption are close to zero.
But try it… try having a face to face conversation without umms and errrs with someone under the age of 50. You’ll find yourself getting interrupted so often that you will want to punch someone.
I believe it is to give yourself time to think. I am slow at compiling the correct way to say what I am thinking - so I pause a lot. I either use the verbal “umm” or the index finger in the air for the “wait a minute - brain is having technical difficulties” signal.
There’s no reason this has to be negative. Long silences feel awkward in conversation. And, often, it’s not easy to know if someone is done speaking, as we don’t always speak in complete sentences. A verbal pause illustrates that we aren’t done yet, but need to pause, whether for thinking, dramatic effect, whatever. If the pause were longer, you’d say, “Wait a second,” or similar.
The idea that everyone is such a jerk that they are trying to talk over you is silly. Absolute jerks only make up a small portion of the population–jerks are just louder, and have bigger effects on others. And, anyways, if these were actually jerks, they’d just as soon talk over your ums or even your regular conversation.
This is true, however. I tried it back when my speech teacher tried to instill in us that these things were bad, and either was overzealous or didn’t make it clear that she only meant in speeches, and not just well-spoken people in general.
It’s not that people “love” them, it’s that articulating thoughts and arranging them into sentences is a fairly complex mental task, and we’re doing it on the fly all the time. So naturally, unless you’ve really rehearsed what you’re saying, there are going to be a lot of pauses and false starts.
I always thought of “uhm…” as the verbal equivalent of idling a car engine – you’re not saying anything, but you’re keeping all of the physical and mental apparatus in such a state that you can quickly start saying something.