There’s a head-scratcher not too far from me - it’s a BBQ restaurant with one of those lighted portable signs where you can put your own message with the big, plastic letters. All it says is “Clean Restrooms” - ummmm… I’m thinking if the only good thing you can say about your restaurant is that the bathrooms are clean, I’m not so sure I want to eat there.
There’s a restaurant in the city called Jack Aster’s, with a big neon sign out front. The ter’ part of the sign blinks on and off.
I need to go back there someday, that place rocks.
We got a flyer on the front door the other day from a guy who does lawn service.
The name of his company is
Just Mowing
Right underneath that he has
other services I provide include raking, edging, planting, fertilizing, etc…
The list of other stuff he’ll do is about twenty items long.
Now why the hell did you name your company Just Mowing, then?
Seriously. That’s like calling a bar Just Beer, and then handing out cocktail menus at the door. Too damn funny.
That’s intentional. They just built one near my home in Ottawa a few years ago, and the sign has always flickered. What really makes it obvious is that there’s a picture of a donkey on the front, pointed backwards.
“I lost 50 pounds in 3 months! - free sample”
Strangely, no one found that funny at all. 
Across town in this mixed french- and english-speaking city there’s an asian place called “Mrs. Le Restaurant”. (Apparently the owner is Mrs. Le)
A couple blocks from here is yet another in the series of luxuriously named shawarma places in town. (There’s Shawarma King, Shawarma Palace, etc. etc.) I always figured a “Diamond Shawarma” would be really hard on the teeth. Or at least out of my price range.
And a Korean place (I’m hoping it’s not trying to sell health food) called “Hung Fatt”.
My favourite, though, was probably the pizza joint my friends and I favoured in first year university. Apparently trying to one-up these guys (and these guys), we have “1 for 1 Pizza”.
1 for 1 seems to be run by a crew for whom english isn’t a first language. We used to get some amusing misspellings on our bill, like the time our side order of cola was listed as “1 pizza and 3 cocks”.
I knew it was intentional. Forgot about the donkey though, it’s been a while since I’ve been there. Have you bought a t-shirt yet?
Notice on he gates of a graveyard in IRELAND
PLEASE NOTE: ONLY PEOPLE LIVING IN THIS PARISH,WILL BE BURIED IN HIS
GRAVEYARD
Notice on a small shop window
CLOSED UNTIL OPENING TIME
There’s a fried chicken place near Rutgers University. When it first opened, its name was “Cluck U.” Somebody or other was offended, so the official name was changed to Cluck University, which of course did not change what it is actually referred to as.
We have a Chinese restaurant here called the Fu Ming Restaurant. Unfortunately when they made the signs for the parking lot, they didn’t have room for the proper spacing so the sign came out :
FUMING CUSTOMERS ONLY
Kinda makes you wonder where the satisfied customers got to park.
Whenever I visit my sister in another town I am always amused to drive by the
Muffs & Tails muffler shop.
I see nothing odd about this. 
There’s the River Parishes Waste Disposal company down here, whose slogan, prominently displayed in all its ads is, “Our business stinks – but it’s picking up!”
My all-time favorite, however, was the large sign painted on the side of a building by the freeway when I lived in Austin for a tire company whose motto was, “If it’s in stock, we’ve got it!”
My university is located near an industrial area of Sydney. Every day on my way there I would drive past a forbidding-looking building named The PMS Corporation. I presume most of the workers were pretty pissed off, retained water, and consumed large quantities of chocolate.
I’m one of those people who boggles at the immense popularity of storage places. So when I saw the sign for:
Why?
Self-Storage
I had to laugh.
For whatever reason, I laughed so hard at this one there were tears rolling down my face.
One of my all-time favourite signs was for a warehouse looking building. It said “Girl Scout Distribution Center”. I always wondered how they’d react if I drove up and asked for a dozen Brownies.
Recently I saw this slogan below a convenience store’s name: “99¢ Plus or LESS On All Items”.
One Easter Sunday, driving through Morayfield, I noticed a sign outside a dirty book store with a large arrow drawn on it - the sign saying “Please Use Rear Entry Only”. No doubt they had books, manuals and lotions to enlighten us on the subject.
mm
Supposedly, this was a complete coincidence, that caused the car owner way too much hassle.
…which has nothing to do with the thread…
Driving on Long Island with my parents, a few years back…
Mid-island, strip malls etc, two businesses side-by-side: The Silver Spoon (an eatery, I assume) and a Chinese restaurant, The House of Tang.
Except there was some sign damage, and as you’re driving down the road, factoring in perspective, the two signs next to each other read
The Silver
poon
HOUSE OF
TANG
It’s nice to be able to share a laugh like that with your parents, and not be embarrased…