We’ve had several threads on lamentable names for people. Let’s do one for businesses with poorly thought out names.
I’ve recently discovered an antique shop named The Town Pump. I just don’t understand how they settled on the name without someone taking them aside and gently asking if they understand the euphemism…
What have you seen that makes you cringe?
They have a small restaurant in Chicago called “The Food Hospital.” Bad combination of words if you ask me
Local signwriter, Legible Signs. Talk about damning with faint praise. That’s the best thing they can say about them? What’s so good about your signs, mate? “Ummm… they’re legible.”
Tattoo parlour’s main signage read “Scorpian Ink”. Front window proclaimed “Proffessional tattooist”. Yes, a lack of spelling ability is what I’m looking for in a tattooist (although it may have been the signwriter to blame. Should’ve got Legible Signs). To be fair, Scorpion Ink is spelt correctly elsewhere on the premises and after a newspaper mocked them for the “Proffessional” sign they had their window redone.
Reminds me of a local signmaker called “Signs Like This.” It worked because the sign outside their headquarters was spectacular.
There’s a chain with a branch near me, sells stuff like horse gear and gardening equipment called ‘Scats’.
Surely someone should have picked up on that! I pity the staff, who have to walk round with that logo on.
There’s a sign company around here called “Creative Sign Co.” Their sign is just letters on the side of their building, in Cooper Black. If that’s creative, I’d hate to see boring.
Roofing company in California named Wetmore Roofing. Um, no thanks, it already does.
Amigone Funeral Home in Buffalo, NY. Apparently, it rhymes with Antigone, but that’s a really unfortunate name for the owners of a funeral parlor!
Here in town, Fails Donut Factory.
And a few towns over:House of Beef-Restaurant/Catering/Butchering Services
Next door:House of Kids(daycare)
It’s either a bad name or a great name, the Hostess Ho Ho.
I guess that is not a business but rather a product.
Okay, I have nothing to add here. :o
Utterly innocuous website and, presumably, business. But a little part of me giggles everytime I drive past in on the Beltline here in Madison.
I was highly amused when I came upon Bagel Rustler in Davie, Fla. The owner was distinctly not amused to see me taking a picture of the sign. I could never explain to him how incongruous I found the idea of a leathery cowboy hunkered down by the campfire, inquiring if there was any more lox in the saddlebag.
Do you ever go in and ask if they have stool samples?
Bagel Rustler sounds like a 1980s euphemism for homosexual male.
There used to be a place in Berkeley called “Rich’s Bulky Burger.” Mmmmm, bulky.
Another of my favorites was a leather goods store - purses, jackets, and the like - called “The Dead Cow.” I think it was in Santa Cruz, CA.
Years ago there was a Malaysian restaurant in Albany, CA called “Glutton’s Corner.” It was named after a famous food bazaar. Some friends and I tried to explain to the owner that, although the name meant something to her, it didn’t sound good to Americans. She replied, “Yes, maybe I should call it Glutton’s Square.”
Not certain as to what you are alluding? The pump (or well) in a village has been the centre of daily gathering for millennia… I think there are references to meeting at the pump/well to gossip going back 5000 years. The Town Pump is where everyone goes daily and chats to others. The Water Cooler is the modern equivalent.
Possibly you are thinking about The Town Bike - ridden by all - which is a euphemism for a fallen woman as t’were… 
I once saw a Greek restaurant called Tantalus. I leave it to the reader to determine whether it says worse things about the food or the service.
There is a marketing company named Three Deep.
Why would I want to hire a marketing company whose best effort for themselves sounds like a porno?
Not a bad name, but bad signage - there’s a chain of recreational vehicle dealerships near here called Poulsbo RV, Poulsbo being the name of the town they started in. However, on their marquee signs, the words are all capitalized and run together making it read as POULSBORV.