Not being very original, I just use the dogs as an excuse - I’ve really got to go and let the dogs out - or - My dogwalker has just arrived. I hate fibbing to people though - so by the time I’m desperate enough to tell this lie to get away I’ve already listened to an hour long one-sided conversation that I’ve heard numerous times before.
Some years back, when I was working at the MN Renaissance Festival, one of my buddies used the best conversation-ender ever.
I was at the Front Gate (the place where all the customers enter and leave), chatting with a nice family from the Dakotas or something, playing around as a helpful in-character guy, being charming… and up comes my buddy Seven. He stands there for a minute fidgeting and then, as I pause after some particularly witty remark, he says
“Please excuse us. We have to go pump each other backstage.”
I have nothing further to say at this point and we flee. leaving behind a stunned-silent family from the Dakotas.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go return some videotapes.
I usually end my conversations at work by stating, “Well, back to the salt mines…”
Boring, but effective.
I usually cross my arms in front of my chest (ala Bewitched) and say “End communication” in the most robotic voice possible (sometimes a pirate voice, if I really feel like confusing someone).
I loved a book by Dr. Seuss titled Marvin K Mooney, will you please go now!
The final page reads, The time had come, so Marvin went.
It works for me, puzzled looks notwithstanding.
Zombies8myBrain - I believe that anything to do with dogs is a euphamism for going to the bathroom, i.e. “I have to go see a man about a dog” means that the person is going to the restroom.
Taters - As a software guy I’ve been saying, “Well, Back to the bit mine.” Well I said that at the old job, at a computer game company. Where I work now, no one gets it, and it’s not as funny when you have to explain it all the time…
BabaBoey - Your ending reminded me of my first e-mails. I was such a nerd back in '93 working as an intern that I treated all e-mails as communications from Spaceman Spiff (Calvin’s alter ego). Every e-mail went like the following:
—BEGIN TRANSMISSION—
I would like to thank everyone for their excellent suggestions and comments on this thread.
—END TRANSMISSION—
Years ago, I had a roommate who ended telephone conversations with “Talk to me later.” (Said in the same tone and cadence as the more usual “Talk to you later.”)
In the military, it is occasionally considered bad form to use the term “Out” to end a conversaiton when speaking to a superior. I knew a couple of officers that would get completely bent out of shape when someone did this to them. I like to occasionally end conversaitons with my father (a retired Brigadier General) with “Roger, out!*” and then hang up. It really gets under his skin.
I know that “Roger, out” is redundant. That is something else he taught me long before I was enlisted. It just irritates him all the more.
“Hey, man…I’m hip to time, but I just gotta go.”
Or something to that effect. Peter Fonda in “Easyriders”.
Jack on **Will & Grace ** did a good one - he’d look towards [an imaginary] camera and tell the “viewers” that they’d be back after these messages with …
Well, in a pinch you can always point suddenly and say, “Look! Elvis!” – then scoot out of the room when the person looks.
Around my job, the most common conversation ending is “Okay, thanks.” Alternately, “I’ll let you know”, if that is more appropriate to the conversation.
giggle
What’s a “pirate voice”?