{{{{rigs}}}}
Gropes come later, when you’re feeling a little better. It’s not a lot, but I am that much of a gentleman.
I admire your forbearance.
Those baby cakes look intriguing.
Just off the phone with my former therapist. Daughter let slip some things in her many phone calls to me that make me concerned about her. FT agreed to see Daughter, if needed. I’m off to have my therapy day of movie, chocolate and knitting (I may teach myself how to purl today). Today feels like the deep breath before the plunge.
Yeah, I’m a complete stranger, but here’s some {{rigs}} and virtual chocolate anyway.
FWIW, I went to WashU and I found the therapists at health services to be quite helpful. In case your daughter needs someone while she’s on campus. The first 10 (I think that’s the number) sessions are free to students.
((((Rigs))))
No gropes from me, but all the good chocolate and purling wishes. It took me a long long time to figure out how to purl, and then when I did, I felt :smack::smack:.
(If you only knit or only purl, they look exactly the same. You aren’t crazy or doing anything wrong. This is what always stumped me.)
Think of it this way, eleanorigby, you’re getting all the stressful stuff out of the way at once. That’s how I dealt with 2007, or as I like to call it: The Year of Karmic Bandaid Removal.
Weft
That’s very nice of you, but the girl who died went to Wash U, not my daughter. Daughter is in Boston for college.
I cannot figure out purling and don’t have the patience to try today. I also have discovered that I dislike finer yarns–the stitches are too small and I can’t get the tension of the loops right. I unraveled three different attempts with 2 different yarns. So, no knitting got done. No brownie making did either–I’ll do it over the weekend. I find I am quite tired today and need a nap.
good heavens! you need an entire gallon of ben and jerry’s stat!
i hope everything will become boring and dull for you really soon.
wishing you peace and strength.
Oh honey, I am so sorry that the universe seems to be shitting all over you right now! In my circle, we talk a lot about “one day at a time.” We also note that it only sucks one day at a time, too. 
Ok, now I’m pissy. Stupid reasons, but there it is.
My inlaws are not stupid people, but they sure are acting it now. MIL calls me 5 times yesterday in total, leaving 2 voice mails. I try to call her back about 3 times, with no answer, so I call the nurse’s station and get an update. He’s doing well–they drained off 4 liters with more coming; his pedal (lower extremity) edema is down nicely, but so is his blood pressure (like 80/40). Despite that, he is alert, up in a chair and eating etc. Sounds good.
When I finally get hold of MIL, she says she only called me ONCE, and then did not leave a message. W.T.F.? What is the purpose of this nonsense? And I got sucked in–I started actually saying things like “you called at 2, you called at 3” etc–conversations which are as pointless as they are aggravating (I could never be a lawyer).
Now The Husband says the phone she was using’s battery died, so she couldn’t make calls. Again, WTF? This is so alcoholic of them all-I looked at him and said she made her last call to me at about 5 pm. Who CARES? The point of the phone calls was to get info on FIL, which seems to have eluded everyone.
FIL and MIL are also being stupid because pulmonlogist told them one night in ICU, then one day on GMF (general med floor) and then home, if all goes well. Well, he ended up spending 2 days in ICU, so OF COURSE HE’S NOT GOING HOME TODAY. My FIL has 3 advanced degrees, but simple logic escapes him. They revert to this infantile “but the doctor said” stuff disregarding the facts in front of their eyes. Not just my inlaws do this–most pts do (very aggravating. We cannot predict the future, so any “game plan” is subject to change. People understand this with travel plans, family things, school etc–why not medicine?)
Please don’t come in here and tell me, “well, they’re worried and not thinking straight.” No shit. But the plan is time in intensive care, time in monitored care (GMF) and then home with home health. It’s not 24 hours here, 24 hours there, then home.
I don’t know how to spell pulmonologist. How sad is that?
((HUG)) This will ease up, it has to! Hang in there.
Holy Shit Rigs! Hang in there. I wish there were something…anything, I could do to help ease the situation for you. You have my supportive and loving thoughts headed your way.
Still in ICU, but doing well, apparently. Had huge fight with The Husband this morning (see MIL’s phone calls and general stupidity post), so he only gave me the barest of details. Frankly, after the long and hard day at work I had, I only need to know FIL’s doing ok. He is still in ICU, but no reason was given as to why. I’ll try to figure it out tomorrow.
Daughter is home (flight delay due to ice on the wings) and out shopping with a mutual friend for something to wear to the wake/funeral.
I am very tired.
(you don’t know me but…)
Inhale… Exhale…
Inhale… Exhale, let it out, exhale s’more…
People under stress (MiL, FiL), regardless of number/quality of degrees, are not necessarily rational, especially where hospitals, health, and life-changing medical issues are involved.
Exhale…
You may have all of the virtual hugs you’d like from this stranger/knitter – but seriously? Once you learn to purl, you’ll wonder why it was daunting. It’s the same stitch, starting from the other side. (Wish I was nearby so I could just show you!)
hugs eleanorigby very tight
Hangs on. (ta).
quilter–I think it is one of those things that once I’ve SEEN it, I get immediately, but to read the descriptions in various books is like gobbledy-gook. I’m in no hurry–purling’s been around for a few thousand years (as have I), I’ll get there.
Up early for work (woke up early). Look somewhat ghost like, but just need to get through today and I can sleep in tomorrow (funeral is late morning).
Query: what does one do with a co-worker who is not helping matters at present? I could handle her being unsympathetic etc (after all, she knows none of these people so there is no need for her to enter into my feelings, plus, we’re at work), but she is making odd personal remarks (all “a joke” of course)–the remarks aren’t related to dying/death/grief etc at all. It’s just weird. Or maybe she was always weird and I’m more aware of it at present? I laughed off her stuff yesterday, but I’m thinking it was really weird to say and completely inappropriate. See below:
She said something to me in Tagalog (no clue how to spell that word. (Filipino language) in front of another Filipino. She asked me if I knew what it meant. (As if). I echoed whatever she said back to her and said, no, I did not know what she had said but that I bet it wasn’t “have a nice day” or something similar. They laughed and a third Filipino (who is very nice and I like a lot) came along and asked me if I wanted to know what 1st Filipino had said. I said yes. “You have a high forehead, so your pussy must be big.”]
Ok, this could be funny, I suppose, but here’s the thing: we don’t normally joke about sex except very obscurely at work. I dunno if you all know me well enough by now, but I am not one for potty jokes or crude sexual humor. It’s not my thing. And third, if this is some quaint saying from Mindanao, I’d rather not know of it. And that was the end of it. It had no context to the general conversation at the time or the convo afterwards.
I bring this up because I am a bit off myself these days (seriously-if I’m not concentrating on work, I don’t know where I am) and am wondering if this is as odd as I think it is.
… where is a Filipino poster when you need one…
It sure sounds weird as all get-go to me.
Holy crap, girl, I missed this thread until now–dayum! First off, hugs to you, hugs to your daughter who must be just devastated. Then a frozen trout smack to the dear hubby. Then some feel better/more comfortable hopes for FIL. Then some “hope something fairly innocuous gives her an itchy and embarrassing rash in an inconvenient place” to MIL. Then more chocolate and a virtual shoulder/neck rub because I bet you’re wound up like rubber bands right now.
Your coworker is weird. I seriously wondered who the hell would say such a thing, then I recalled something my mom told me about a Filipina friend of hers–apparently women who know each other well are very casual about actually touching each other’s crotchal regions (through clothes, but still!) and joking about said regions. Said she saw this behavior in action–just a swift tap but still rather incongruous, when she asked her friend about it she got a laugh and a “yeah, it’s pretty normal, don’t let it bug you” reaction. Anecdote != data, but what the hell…
Knitting sounds like a good idea, very calming and it allows you to put some order into the universe and create something where nothing was before, this puts your mind into a better space. Hang in there!
Ok, don’t take this the wrong way, but if that’s a habit among Filipina women, I don’t think I want to get closer to any of them… :eek:
Home from wake. Very tired, but not as horrid as I thought. Daughter is holding up well. Wake was packed–as in line out the door (in 12 degree weather). I waited in line for over an hour to view the body and pay my respects to Liz’s mom. I expect the funeral to be no different. The mom was grace itself. Janice is an amazing woman.
I was quite touched that #1 son asked to go with me, to see Liz’s younger brother (he is not good friends with this boy).
Work was a nice day, overall.
One more MIL story. She called Daughter (and had Daughter call me at work) to ask if I could possibly leave work and drive (35 minutes one way) to their house to get FIL up the stairs and into his house and then go back to work…
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No, that is not possible at my job (nor would it have been possible at HER job: elementary school teacher).
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FIL was up and about at home and completely independent prior to admission.
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Physical therapy did a full assessment on him prior to discharge and found no real deficits (he may need a cane). This man has not had a stroke and does not have any balance or muscle issues that would indicate an inability to climb stairs. His shortness of breath has been resolved (for now) by the draining of his chest and the increase in his diuretics. IOW, this is MIL dramatizing and not wanting to take responsibility for well, anything.
Itchiness is too good for her. I am quite angry at her narcissism and general immaturity.
I think I need a livejournal or similar, but I’ll just finish with this. The funeral was good and horrible at the same time.
Have any of you ever heard the parable of the foolish virgins at a young girl’s funeral or any service? 
And I cannot forgive the priest his political comments or his imploring the 10 year to pray to her sainted sister nightly.
The music was exquisite. I’d never been in this church and it is beautiful inside. I took comfort from those things and from the essential kindness of my community to one another. People are (mostly) good, decent folk. Liz was loved. Did you know that 50+ kids came from her college to her funeral? They got on a bus at 0400 and are returning tonight.
thanks for all your support here.
“parable of the foolish virgins”? Would that be the ten virgins with lamps one, that teaches us to be selfish bitches when our sisters need our help? How on earth did he torture that into a funeral service? Oh, let me guess, it was a “no one knows the hour of [del]the coming of the lord[/del] their death” thing because she was a young person, right? Whatevs.
Glad you focused on the important stuff. hugs