Under water orgasms and orifices

First, I’m not talking about hot tubs or pools, but deep down where water pressure is a serious issue.

I’ve never heard an explanation of how your bodily orifices deal with deep water pressure. Say you have sex deep under water – is there some depth beneath which, when your various valves open up to release the traditional fluids, instead water from the outside under pressure rushes in?

Even without the sex thing, is there some depth at which water forces its way in past your sphincter or into your urethra? For that matter, how is it your eyes aren’t just pushed in?

Obviously these questions aren’t relevant if you are in a pressurized suit. I assume that with SCUBA gear, you are breathing pressured air that will do something toward helping you cope with expernal pressure. But really, is your colon pressurized too?

It helps that your body is mostly water, anyway. So when you dive deep, the pressure on the outside of your body is matched by the pressure on the inside. So your bodily functions aren’t affected that much. You can urinate pretty deep under water without ill-effect, although I’ve never had the opportunity to ejaculate under such conditions.

The difficulty comes with air-filled items like your lungs and various face-holes, which can’t withstand the pressure after certain depths.

If you are not in a pressurized suit, the fluids inside your body are the same pressure as the water outside your body. The only thing that is going to react to the pressure is any gas-filled spaces, like your lungs, or digestive system gas, and that is going to compress whether you have an orgasm or not. Unless your colon or urethra is full of gas, there is no pressure differential between the outside and inside of a sphincter or orifice. I say it makes no difference.

The water tends to rinse away natural lubricants… Be sure to use enough of something non-water soluble.

Would the pressure affect the ability to get an erection? That depends on blood pressure in the penis, after all.

That brings farting to mind. Can you go too deep to fart? Also, that would mean you have gas in your colon. What are the implications of that?

The important pressure is gauge pressure, not absolute pressure. In the doctor’s office, when they meausre your blood pressure at 110/70 mmHg (2.13/1.35 psi), the local atmospheric pressure is 14.7 psi; that means your blood pressure, expressed as an absolute value, is 16.83/16.05 psi.

If you SCUBA-dive down to 100 feet, the local water pressure at that depth s 58.8 psi absolute (44.1 psi due to the water depth, plus another 14.7 due to the atmosphere sitting on top of it). At that depth, your blood pressure will be 60.93/60.15 psi. IOW, just one or two psi above local pressure when you were in the doctor’s office.

Enjoy your deep-sea boner.

The key point here is that fluids are virtually incompressible. So increasing pressure does not deform most body parts; they reach the same pressure as their surroundings and so can still do the same job the same way.

body cavutues full of air -sinus, ear canal, etc. - if you do not equalize as the pressure increases, pretty soon things get very painful. Of course, in a scuba outfit, the air pressure in the hoses quickly matches the ambient pressure, or else the hoses would collapse. If you tried to breath 14psi too far down (super-long snorkel, ie.) eventually your lungs would not have the muscle power to expand against water pressure. Whatever pressure the lung air is at, swallowing/yawning/hold nose and blow etc. will equalize ear pressure; without that, ear problems can be very painful. Do not go scuba diving with infections blocking the eustacian tubes.

I merely wish to point out that Underwater Orgasms would be a great band name.

Speaking from experience here, I’ll say this - I was diving at about 40-60 feet and I had to go to the bathroom REALLY bad (number 1). Since my wife and I were in Grand Cayman (warm water) and we were essentially in our SCUBA gear and shorts and a T-Shirt, I decided to just ‘adjust’ myself out of my shorts and go. I signaled to my wife to keep a lookout (via sign language) and I just went.

Now, it could have been because of how bad I had to go, but I swear that was the quickest, most emptying, piss of my life.

If gas is being produced in your colon, it will be at the same pressure as the surrounding water, so you can still fart. What often happens though, is that if you’re farting a little bit at depth, you’ll fart a lot while ascending - if you’re at 66 ft, the gas in your colon will triple in volume as you ascend.

Cold water divers piss in their wetsuits all the time - though it’s recommended to do it early in the dive so you’ve got a chance to flush it out before surfacing.

The gas in your colon was at surface pressure when you went to dive so it would just compress as you go deeper, which would indeed make you less likely to fart. Presumably a big compressed fart would expand back to its original size as you ascend, and you would parp mightily into your wetsuit.

The dangerous issue with expanding gas (blood nitrogen precipitation aside) is mainly the stuff coming out of the tanks when you’re down, which would have a lung-sized volume at pressure, and will expand greatly on ascent - which is why you should never close off the back of your throat when breathing, and should always exhale on ascending. Also anything trapped in your sinuses.

Of course if you have an issue in which your intestinal fauna are producing vast amounts of gas while you’re deep under the water, that too will expand as you ascend, meaning you may fart like a leaking Hindenburg while coming to the surface. In my thought experiment, if so much gas was produced that at surface pressure its volume exceeds that of your bowel, it could indeed damage your intestines if you held it in while coming to the surface - though I’ve never heard of it happening.

Paging Mythbusters…