Weirdness.
I’m sitting here in the living room with my windows open. It’s a nice cool day, so I’m using the opportunity to air out the apartment and cool it off a bit. I’m relaxing, having finished my chores, reading the Dope, and thinking about taking a nice cool shower … when it happens: the Unholy Noise.
It’s outside my kitchen window. It’s not frightening, exactly, just very bizarre. It’s quite loud. It’s almost pretty, even though the sounds alone shouldn’t be. Let me see if I can describe it:
It sounds like a choir of seagulls, some with flutes, singing together. None are singing the same notes, and the flutes are being blown randomly with no rhyme or reason. It also sounds as though they are backing up a large truck slowly with very squeaky brakes. Also, it sounds like some of them are opening a few dozen squeaky doors. I think one of them is playing a trumpet; also randomly blown notes, one at a time.
As if this isn’t weird enough, it starts up, swells in volume … then tapers off, stopping completely. There is a pause of some thirty seconds, and it begins again. I peeked out the window, but there is nothing unusual out there. We face a somewhat quiet alley, so I would notice if something strange was out there. So, I stepped out into the alley, and see nothing. I still hear the weird noise, however, and it sounds very close. Nobody is home in the apartment upstairs. I walk to the front of the building, and nothing there, either. We are surrounded by other apartments, so who knows. I take a quick stroll up the street, and as I get further from my apartment, the sound gets lower in volume. I walk back to my apartment, and it sounds loudest from near my kitchen window. I check downstairs, since there is an older man who lives down there alone, and I hear his television on, as usual. I check in on him, and he says he can hear it, too, but can’t figure it out. I come back inside, and the cats keep looking intently out the window.
So, here I am, stumped. Is it Jesus? Is it Satan? Is it locusts? Is it the ice cream man? Is it a Screaming Caterpillar? (there is a little bush outside my kitchen window).
I’m sure it’s something completely mundane, like someone messing with their television set, or maybe playing with sound effects. It doesn’t seem right, but who knows? Maybe I’m on Candid Camera.
What do you think it could be?
If I disappear for a few hours, I likely haven’t been abducted by a seagull choir, I’ll just be taking a shower and putting supper on. This isn’t one of those “omg what was that noise? Somebody hel…!” threads. 
