What did unicorns eat on the Ark? Do they have belly buttons?
And how can they tell if she’s really a virgin?
Unicorns were herbivores, so they only ate marijuana. They had no belly buttons because they were created through gene splicing using genes from horses, megadoves and narwhals. Virgins are a myth.
Not for those who truly believe. Haven’t you ever read “Yes, Santa Claus, There Is a Virgin”?
Did James Barrie believe in virgins?
The Unicorns didn’t make it onto the ark; they got stuck on a treadmill.
“There was green alligators, and long necked geese, some humpedy-back camels, and some chimpanzees…”
Unicorns, as people have alluded to above, are actually not extinct. Though apparently quite common, they are elusive to observe (note that, as Mindfield observed, their diet of choice is C. sativa, and, since the unicorns are attracted by the odor, pot smokers are much more likely to see unicorns than those who don’t indulge). However, no cryptozoologist has ever been able to capture one, owing to a shortage of the necessary calmative to take one into captivity.
So that’s why they refuse to legalise marijuana…
Sort of. In fact, C. sativa has a much stronger effect on unicorns that it does on humans – comparable to what a human would experience on three or four acid blotters and a bottle of Night Train. Unicorns, being just as susceptible to having bad trips and/or pissing about cheap wine, had a tendency to gore anyone in their immediate vicinity. Since the only people in the vicinity would be the ones sharing their stash, it was reasoned – quite sensibly – that pot is bad not because of its psychotropic properties, but because of the danger tripping unicorns present.
Oooooooohhhh… so this is what it feels like to be a unicorn! 
So thats where I get all those cuts and bruises from after a heavy night.
Drag him out and shoot him, in this case there´s really no need for a warrant at all. 
So what you’re saying is: pot is bad because it makes unicorns see people. 
You mean in the same way that God is attracted by the odor of lunacy, so fundamentalists are much more like to see him than others?
Time to pull out the Hawaiian. Sorry, unicorns. No smoke for you!
It’s a government conspiracy against unicorns, man! They’re always trying to keep the one-horned down.
Not so.
They must have been omnivores because they also ate skunk.
Yes, but you have to remember that skunk was once considered a fruit.
Until that Supreme Court case that decided it was a vegetable.
Soylent Unicorn IS people!
and when they marry they become mythess.