Unisex bathrooms: Yay or Nay?

Great Debates
81

I once would have said either ‘yes’ or ‘it doesn’t matter’. But one time at a bar the women’s line got long, so some girls came in the men’s. There were a few of us men at the urinals. I was only mildly uncomfortable at first sight of the girls but went on about my “business”. But then this buffoon-ass next to me starts yellin “Hell yeah! Come on in! That’s what I want” and sort of turns so as to expose himself to the girls. God, I felt like punching the dude. I felt so badly for the girls. … Then the second event was I got married and was the first time I shared a bathroom with a female on a regular basis. Similar to one of the other posts says, I can’t hardly pee if I even think my wife can HEAR it. And I’m real embarrased when Mr. Kankey stinks up the room when the wife needs in next.

Call me sexist or whatever, but I really like women and I don’t like the thought of them having to put up with the stank and boorish behavior of men. And I sure don’t appreciate the idea of pervs laying in wait for women to enter a unisex, multi-stall restroom.

Public restrooms don’t need to be proclaimed as unisex. I think we all handle the situation pretty well as is. Women just go in the men’s if there’s a need. Men just hold it.

82

I incident of the pervert exposing himself could just as easily been done by a woman to men. The part of women coming into men’s rooms don’t you think that’s hypocritical? If a man was to walk into a women’s restroom he would be arrested and thrown into jail if not beaten for being a rapist/murderer/peeping tom/pervert, but a women can do it and it’s ok? How about this solution: “Men just go in the women’s if there’s a need. Women just hold it.?”

83

And I’m sorry if my opinion of this bothers you.

84

Not terribly likely? There are public bathrooms all over the country that have long been used as a discreet rendezvous for same-sex couples. Why is it suddenly less likely with unisex bathrooms?

85

Actually, it’s not that you don’t like the idea of unisex bathrooms that bothers me. I’m really not all that concerned with who you want in the bathroom when you do your business.

If you’re referring to your opinion where the solution to the problems that go with being transgendered are “Well, just don’t go out dressed as the wrong sex, duh”, then yes, it bothers me. My issue with you in this thread started when you decided that people saying they’d like to have a unisex option because of their gender issues meant you needed to get in people’s faces.

My intent with that statement wasn’t that it was impossible that people would ever dream of having sex in a public bathroom. I was responding to your statement to the effect that the obvious result of unisex bathrooms was going to be people having sex in them willy nilly.

My response was intended as “unisex bathrooms aren’t going to make people who wouldn’t have sex in a single sex bathroom anyway suddenly decide to do it”. The idea that there would be a sudden upsurge in the number of people having sex on the counter of a public restroom was what I considered unlikely.

And the fact that people have sex in single sex restrooms anyway is just one more reason “but people will have sex in there” isn’t much of an argument. I never said it was less likely with unisex bathrooms. It’s not enormously more likely with unisex bathrooms though, which is what you seemed to be assuming.

86

I offered the only other option that I saw.

It is my belief that the majority of Americans would prefer to keep the bathrooms separate. In fact, I went back over this thread and informally tallied up the responses. I’m even going to give the benefit of the doubt to what I might consider to be joke replies and take them seriously. Here’s what I got:

For: 11
Against: 28
Don’t Care: 5

Total: 44

What I glean from this is that 64% of the responders in this thread who have clearly stated “I am for/against/don’t care about unisex bathrooms” are against it. I would feel pretty comfortable about extrapolating this percentage to the entire U.S. population; of course if anyone else can find a link to a better study I would be interested in seeing it.

You are asking a majority of the population to be uncomfortable for the sake of a very small minority. That simply isn’t fair, and something I will “get in people’s faces” about. Just the way I am, and I’m not going to apologize for it.

87

I used to feel this way too–sexist and outdated.

Until I (no offense) matured a little bit and realized that sometimes our “outdated” system has a lot to do with peoples’ personal preferences. I think of myself as earthy, enlightened, and uninhibited, but the idea of going in the same bathroom as a guy makes me shudder.

I just don’t want to listen to guys making rude noises. Conversely, I don’t want to feel self-conscious unwrapping a tampon because I know that Jason from two offices down is in the next stall going, “Eeew, Q.N. has her period today.”

Not to mention, there are going to be some mouth-breathing perverts to try to peek at the women as they’re using the toilet. You just know there are. I mean, there’s one in every office, right? For example, ours is Chad from the copy center. It’s bad enough that he gets drunk and tries to grope the women at the office Christmas party. I don’t want to worry that he’s going to be listening to me tinkle and getting off on it.

I finally decided that I don’t want to have to be P.C. in the bathroom, of all places. Can’t that be one haven of un-P.C.-ness left for us, where we can indulge our (perhaps ridiculous) inhibitions and prejudices? I think so.

That said, I have worked places where the bathrooms were unisex but were just one little room with a toilet, a sink, and a door that locked. I prefer that above all else.

88

NO WAY!
#1. Now the long lines will be at the men’s room too.
#2. Sometimes you really have to let loose. A with a female in the next stall, that could be inhibiting.
And finally:
#3. Women use up all the toilet paper.

89

Yay.

When I had the great chance to attend Berkeley, one of the funnier things at orientation was the announcement to the parents of a unisex bathroom. The gasps were great.

Having lived in the dorms for two years and a co-op for two more, I’m quite used to a unisex bathroom. The fact of the matter is, however much you dislike it, women need to pee and poop, too. Yes, you heard me, they have an anus, believe it or not, and on occasion, they do fart. In my experience at Cal, I never met a woman who was bothered by the unisex bathrooms - and this is keeping in mind that the bathrooms were also where the showers are. It certainly never resulted in anyone being embarassed or anything overly sexual. It does make for some interesting conversations, though.

I mean, for christ’s sake, most people shared a restroom with their opposite-sex siblings. Or an even more terrifying thought - what about those crazy perverse homosexuals? You aren’t even safe in your own same-sex bathrooms! Gasp!

The only logical reason I can think of for not having unisex bathrooms is that men tend to hit the seat a lot in public restrooms, and since unisex bathrooms usually don’t have urinals, that would be much more frequently.

90

Yeah, but most people also closed (and locked) the door, allowing them to do their business in private. A stall does not afford nearly the same privacy as your own room.

Actually, I would be more uncomfortable with a woman seeing me naked than a gay man. I’m not sure why, but it might have something to do with knowing that I’ll never have a relationship with the guy, thus concerning the aforementioned “aversion to exposing vulnerabilities to the opposite sex.”

91

This thread has gone on a couple of tangents with same-sex and transgendered issues for which I have no opinion. I do, however, support unisex facilities as long as there is a modicum of privacy. There should never be an opportunity for a man (or woman, I guess) to “flash” another person coming into the restroom. What if those women were 10-year-old girls! Even half-walls at each urinal would provide some privacy and full stalls for the toilets just like they are now.

Family restrooms are an idea that’s finally seeing the light of day. When my father-in-law was disabled physically with Parkinsons, my mother-in-law would have to make limited choices about where they could go depending on the available restroom facilities.

There are many more single parents today than ever before. The father that had his daughter standing at the urinal with him was an idiot. I don’t doubt that (a) he had to go and (b) he wasn’t going to leave his small daughter outside the men’s room but why not use the handicap stall? It’s usually large enough that he could have privacy by asking his daughter to turn around and she wouldn’t be exposed to other men at the same time.

The long queues at the woman’s restroom annoy me to no end. Were the architechts all men? It has ALWAYS taken women more time in the loo than men. So why the limited number of women’s stalls?

The funniest potty story I have is when I went to a “girl” bar with my lesbian friends. You can guarantee that the men’s room was used by women all the time. The occasional man just dealt with it. :slight_smile:

92

Aside from noises, it provides the same privacy. shrugs I dunno, maybe I’m biased with all my years in Berkeley, where people walked around in pajamas and someone wandering nude wasn’t a big deal. I’m sure that the case is quite different in most of the rest of the US, and I would not want to force people into a situation where they feel uncomfortable - but it really isn’t that big of a deal, and over time I’m sure it will become more acceptable, as people aren’t afraid of the noise of someone relieving themselves. As people mention, using a family restroom is something that is increasingly desired.

I dunno, we never locked the doors to our bathrooms when I was a kid. Hell, my uncle has a toilet sitting in the middle of his bedroom… which is a tad far to take it for me, but to each his own. I had my sister wander in and use the restroom while I was showering more than once, and it never really bothered either of us, and she is much more conservative than I am.

93

I usually lock the door only if there are non-immediate family members in the house. Otherwise the door would just be closed. As to the simultaneous use of the bathroom by two people, I’m of the opinion that it should only happen in the case of an emergency. If I’m showering and someone really has to go, they have to first knock and make their need known–allowing me sufficient time to cover up–and then they can come in. Simply barging in will earn them my eternal (well, maybe more like 30-minute) wrath.

:eek:

94

Generally around here the door is closed only if (a) there are guests present, (b) someone is doing something exceptionally stinky, or (c) it’s cold in the rest of the house and I want it to be warmer in the bathroom.

Multiple use of the bathroom is normal around here, and in fact lee and I shower together more often than not.

95

I dunno, you people who can’t pee in front of your spouses need to get over yourselves.

I go to a rather conservative school, and all the bathrooms in the dorms are unisex. The office buildings and classroom buildings, however, all have separate M-F bathrooms. I always thought this was odd- that older professionals can’t handle unisex, but it’s assumed that students can. And it’s true! It would be interesting to see an age correlation with these responses.

My unisex dorm bathrooms all have urinals. I’m a girl, and I’ve had plenty of conversations with guys while they’re doing their business. First time as a freshman it was a little weird, but you get over it. Guys seem to recognize that women menstruate. Women realize that yeah, men will be peeing. Does it matter who the farting person next to you is? My farts are just as vicious as the next gal/guy! In fact, some of the women’s bathrooms in the dining hall are much messier b/c of bulimics vomiting than the men’s are from urine.

IMHO, this is the breast-feeding debate all over again. If you’re that opposed to other people’s bodies, I don’t know why you even bother to step outside your house in the morning.

96

A nightclub I used to go to had bathrooms marked “Us” and “Them.” I thought this was pretty cool. But then, these were single-person bathrooms.

As far as unisex bathrooms are concerned, the major drawback as I see it as a male is the smell of used sanitary napkins left in the wastebasket for a couple of hours. Although I don’t much object to fresh menstrual fluids, I don’t like the smell of them after they have started to grow hairs and such.

97

There is no way I’d use a unisex bathroom.

I can’t articulate why. It would just bother me. DH has seen me in the bathroom, of course, but then we’re married and he has also witnessed a human being erupt out of my nether regions.

Some things should be kept between spouses, methinks, and eliminating is one of 'em.

98

Hm, I do know that I can send most american males [ex husbands, ex boyfriends] out to the store to get me a box of sanitary supplies with fair impunity…but i was visiting a friend in Germany in Feb and [i guess] because of the stress of traveling ahem needed some sanitary supplies with some expedience. My friend, having previously been married for 9 years, i assumed would be able to accomplish this simple little task. Oops…it turns out he basically went to the store, and threw himself on the mercy of the saleswoman there to pick something out for me…grin. I would really love to see him in a unisex loo if someone did yell ‘if i toss out a quarter will someone get me a tampon’ <evil grin> he would probably turn tail and run=)

put me down for 3 bathrooms, or staying with the status quo with the exception of making the available loos 1 third male, 2 thirds female.

99

ROTFLMAO…i love this…I cant wait until my DH is home from work tonight so I can let him read this. The description is perfect! [he was at one time an EMT, and handled a number of births in varying locations]

100

I wouldn’t care one way or the other if we kept the status quo or changed it, but as a personal matter I don’t see why we should keep it. Stalls are built for a modicum of privacy already, and I have no particularly preference for hearing a man let loose over a woman. As far as I’m concerned, we all do it and that’s that.

Am I supposed to glean from the use of “sexist” that gender-seperated bathrooms are to sexism as color-seperated restrooms are to racism?

For me, it wouldn’t shatter my image of women that they fart, poop, pee, squat, whatever. I already know this. They’re humans, not idols.

Also, FWIW, as a man who cleaned restrooms earlier in his life, I found the woman’s room to have an unpleasant odor, as well.