Earth will never be visited by advanced Alien Civilizations. Why? They have been receiving our television transmissions for over 60 Earth Years now, and have seen everything from Hitler’s speeches at the Munich Olympics to sitcoms such as ‘Laverne and Shirley’. Based on this, they have decided that visiting this particular planet would be a waste of time and fuel.
Michael Jackson is a persona that has actually been played by various people over the last few decades. The original Michael Jackson is retired and living like a king somewhere (Patagonia, perhaps). The managers of Michael Jackson find some guy who can sing and dance, train him to be Mike, then let him live the high life for a few years before he too retires to a life of luxury and a new person takes the role. This would explain the dramatic changes of appearance that M. Jackson has gone through.
That homosexuality, for some, may be a(n) (instinctual?) behavioral modification in response to over-population.
(Really more of a philosophical worry-stone that I carry around with me, more than an actual theory, as it has holes in it big enough to drive a truck through)
Cats can locate sources of warmth at a distance, because their ears act as dish-antennas for heat.
I’ve always thought that the current Michael Jackson is a clone of theoriginal who is either dead or in a coma or some other medical condition that does not allow him to be out in public. The reason for the dramatic change in appearance is due to the fact that they haven’t perfected the cloning process yet and the accelerated the growth rate of the clone.
My theory is that “Good things come to those who wait” is a BS platitude propagated by the terminally lazy.
Also, “nice guys finish last” goes hand in hand with the above sentiment.
So, basically, this means that when we die and go to heaven, we spend all eternity like a dog that’s just been shown a card trick?
The frequency and priority-level of support requests increase exponentially as the work-day progresses, reaching critical mass exactly 1 minute 30 seconds before your scheduled time to leave.
The desire to do/eat/possess something is inversely proportional to how healthy it is for you.
The odds of your ex-wife calling are directly proportional to the current level of intimacy you are experiencing with another person at the time.
The odds of someone having made a new pot of coffee after emptying it are inversely proportional to the amount of time you have before your next meeting.
–IDB
As Geddy Lee is one of God’s Chosen People, that would seem highly unlikely. 
conspiracy theory: all the women in the world have formed a society, their motto being “No sex for Will”
I’m not DrasticI may be able to shed some light, but be warned, my cite sucks.
Some twenty-ish years ago I read an article in OMNI magazine about a research project involving hypnosis. Most of the subjects, under hypnosis were able to recount tales of “alien abductions.” Since the researchers didn’t think this was plausible, they got more detailed descriptions and then compared them to records of another, real life “abduction experience” – getting kicked out of the womb into the cold hard world where they had cold steel instruments and poked/prodded you.
Interestingly – according to this 20 yr-old report – those who exited through the birth canal, reported “alien abductions” that were long and difficult, like travelling through a tunnel to a light at the end. Those who were born via c-section described a relatively quick and easy passage into blindingly birght light.
So – take it as you will – I’m remembering an OMNI Science report from the early 80s.
That we are God’s pet cats…
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Lipstick has a secret ingredient that slowly turns your lips colorless; hence, you must keep wearing it in order to not appear like you have corpse-lips.
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Lip balm is addictive on the same level as heroin. So is hand lotion.
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Cats DON’T really sleep all day. They laugh at how they have fooled us all lo these many years. Someday they will attack.
Oh, man you just reminded me of one:
Instead of sleeping, cats are actually battling evil on the psychic plane and that’s why they seem to sleep all the time.
Somewhere in the cosmos there is a parallel Earth populated by werewolves…some of who imagine of a world full of nearly-furless apes.
Windows Solitaire has some level of artificial intelligence built in. Just enough to frustrate you…
The amount of toilet paper remaining in the house is directly proportional to the amount of Texas-style Chili you’ve eaten for lunch.
–IDB
Er, of course “directly proportional” should be “inversely proportional”
–IDB
Otherwise known as the “Cogito ergo sum, but what the hell are you doing here?” school of thought.
Hey! Who told WillSantini? :mad: