While passing out the tin cans of fudge I made for everyone last Christmas, I happen to comment that Mr. Deadly was the one who filled the tins with the comment, “He really tried to fill them up as much in as possible.”
His grandmother, holding up the heavy tin said, “Looks like he’d make a good fudge packer.” She never understood the embarrassed laughter that comment generated.
What, no one else has ever come up with a tale that never actually happened? This one came to me the other day, and it made me think of a book of untrue anecdotes.
Deadly, I’m intrigued here.
You just want us to make stuff up? “Quaint but unfortunately untrue things that grandmas say?” Like Inboxer Rebellion glurge?
Okay…
My grandma was looking over my shoulder while I was surfing the Internet, and I was looking at a picture of Michael Jackson, in which he was looking more than usually Frankensteinian, and I said something about how many stitches he probably had, and Grandma said, “Well, a stitch in time saves nine.”
And since both of my grandmas have been dead since 1990, this is also apparently a ghost story, so do I get extra points?
It can be about anything you come up with, whether it’s cute things your kids never said, a dumb coworker quote you’ve never heard, anything.
Okay, here’s one:
My brother-in-law, after struggling mightily to get my 6 year old nephew to bed, finally succeeded. “Go to sleep, young man, and that’s final!”
A little while later, nephew calls downstairs, “Dad, would you bring me a drink of water?”
“No! Go to sleep!”
A little while later, “Dad, can I pleeease have a drink of water?”
“Boy, if I hear one more peep out of you, I’ll be upstairs to give you a swat on the ass!”
A little while later, “Dad? When you come up to swat me, will you bring a glass of water?”
The funny thing is, when my sister told me this one, I really believed the little guy did it, because it’s just the sort of thing he would do.
hahaha thats funny
has nothing worthwhile to say =/
Too late … Reader’s Digest already does that. 
When we were in sex ed in high school, we were taking a test on the male reproductive system. My best friend at the time raised his hand and asked the teacher, “For this question - name three reasons the penis becomes stiff and erect…”
“Yes?”
“Do you want names?”
Didn’t happen, potsy. I call bullshit.
BWA HA HA HA HA!!
As brought up before…Why write those untrue anecdotes here when Reader’s Digest actually pays you if you send them in?!?
Same reason people write true ones here: better audience and you can put cruder ones here.
Besides, I stopped subscribing to Reader’s Digest after tiring of the millionth overdramatized fact/fiction story.
Haha very true answer. I suppose I am one of the lucky few who just reads the jokes and anecdotes out of the Reader’s Digest magazine without worrying about all the other wasted material…because it’s my roommate’s subscription! 
A couple of years ago, my Nana broke her hip and had to move in with us for a couple of months as she recovered from her operation. We had to adjust a few things in the house to make it more accessible for her. We also purchased a portable telephone so she wouldn’t have to get up to use it.
Well, at this time, my younger brother was looking for a job. One day, a place called home to let him know that he had an interview. Nana answered the phone, and shouted out to my younger brother, who wasn’t home at the time. She said to the caller, in her loud, Nana voice - “You’ll just have to excuse me, I don’t know if David is home, I am just on the toilet at the moment, and I can’t go and look for him.”
Amazingly, David still got the job, as the employer thought it was hilarious. We sterilized the telephone, and soon shipped Nana off to a home.
The sad thing is that this is a true story.