That things deliberately happen wrong to delay you whenever you are in a hurry. This could be a corollary of Sattua and begbert’s rules; not only do inaminate objects fall over to make you mad, they try to be evil, and on top of that, will always need service/supplies/refilling exactly when you need them most. Heck, the whole universe conspires to slow you up when you are in a hurry.
That all the other people on the roads are idiots! 
That punching, kicking, or otherwise striking inanimate objects which have recently caused me physical pain makes them somewhat less likely to do so in the future.
Granted, I only believe this for the three seconds immediately following stubbing my toe or somesuch, but hey, that’s all it takes.
That starting to swear will make my keys magically appear on the console table, even if I just checked five minutes before, with no luck.
That my husband feels it’s his duty to start a long, involved conversation with me when I have a huge load of laundry in my arms at 11 p.m. and have one foot on the stairs.
Oh, and that he and the kids have secret spidey senses to tell them when I’m in the shower or bathroom. As soon as I’ve settled in for an unterrupted shower/pee/anything else, I hear my son calling me, the baby screaming or my husband asking me where something is or bellowing for help with the screaming baby. Ah, well. At least I feel needed. Urgh.
Oh boy. Your debriefing is going to be a little more complicated than we thought.
Well, in addition to the malevolent sentience of obvious (we yell at them because it helps) I will aslo add that Murphy’s Law is not only true in a predictive sense, but also in a functional sense - it can be used to control outcomes. That is, if I bring an umbrella, then the universe is less likely to bother to make it rain on me, whereas if I forget it, I should expect to get wet.
If you were to point out that there would be problematic issues when two people were there, one with an umbrella and one without, I would remind you that you haven’t proven that I’m not the center of the universe yet. Not to say that Onomatopoeia is correct (or rather as correct as a simalcrum of a human can be), but even if there are other ‘real’ people out there scattered amongst the homunculi, then there’s no reason to think that the universe cares about them the way it does me.
(And yes, I’m playing this thread straight. All these beliefs play around the edges of my mind.)
I do that when I bite my cheek. Not a good thing.
I think you meant deprogramming, and no, you’re not fooling me with these weak attempts at misdirection. 
What, you punch yourself in the teeth afterward? Yeah, that might not be advisable. 
-bolding mine; that should have been “objects”. See what I’ve been telling you about this computer? It’s out to humiliate me. :mad:
As am I.
A little deeper than the edges for me, but it helps balance world, so that’s okay.
Scary, aint it?
We even created a word for it: solipsism. Meta, huh?
Mine is that everybody wants to take time out of their busy day to engage my cutie pie of a two year old in one of his games. The latest one is pointing out cars on the street.
Pssst. If you read the bottom of the post you quoted, you’ll see that I mentioned just that.
Hey, I’m one of those guys. I’m just as happy holding the lady I’m with while we talk as I am having sex.
Back to the original topic, every mosquito in the world is living in my backyard.
So you hold the lady and talk while you’re having sex?
Works for me.
Sure, why not.
My wonderful little dog will never die.
:eek:
Aw, shit. I hadn’t even contemplated this, yet. 
That barrettes and ponytail holders steal away in the dead of night, return to the barrette and ponytail holder factory to be repackaged, and force you to buy them over and over.
That I’m a lot smarter than most other people.