Just one more post…
Similarly, everybody is as enchanted by my cat as I am.
When I was a kid, it always snowed on Christmas… the sky was bluer, the lakes were warmer in the summer, ice cream tasted better… everything was generally safer.
My ringneck parrots understand and appreciate every dumb joke I tell them. And by the way, they also have psychic powers and are spies for Al Quaeda.
And I was right. I guess I really didn’t believe after all.
When, in a relatively short span of time, I meet two different people in two different contexts that nonetheless look very much alike, I figure it must be because the studio who is directing my life hired a new actor whom the director owed a favor or something, so he/she gets to play two roles in my life. They just dress the person differently and have him/her appear in different contexts and hope I don’t notice.
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Pushing the button will make the elevator come quicker.
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Coat hangers multiply by eating exactly one sock per pair that goes into the laundry.
Sadly, I’ve almost stopped believing this one myself.
For a long time, I believed in the religion thing. Then I found out that it wasn’t a little lie, it was a big lie.
I believe that some invisible entity follows me around for the sole purpose of entangling any cord or rope-like thing I am using around even the smallest protuberance (vacuum cleaner cord around table corner, garden hose around 2" high stump, and on and on and on) so that I have to stop, backtrack, and lift it off; invisible entity clearly finds this highly amusing.
Also that I will be able to continue to resist buying that new gadget or new upgrade or whatever.
Although I have been an atheist as long as I can remember, I’m certain there is a malevolent trickster god out there who only exists when I get any sort of windfall cash, upon receipt of which he leaps into action to ensure that a car, a cat, or an appliance will need immediate repair costing exactly the amount of the windfall.
That my dreams are really other universe me’s that overlap due to some glitch that once I am able to control, I’ll be able to hop between universe me’s at a whim.
(I know I haven’t already accomplished this, as my cat threw up on me in bed this morning).
I believe that dragging a rope, extention cord etc. will cause it to catch on something, ANYTHING, unless I am trying to catch it on that very item. Never seems to fail.