Unusual subtitle on an unavailable TV channel.

Cafe Society
1

Alright. This may be an odd question that no one can answer, doesn’t matter, here goes.

I’m currently staying in a hotel in some backward part of South Australia, Ceduna if you must know. Anyway, I’ve turned the TV on and one of the channels has the following message, “EO5-4 Unknown Smartcard.” Although I don’t know what that means, I just sort of assume that it’s something to do with the channel being unavailable. What is more interesting is that at the bottom of the screen in different text is the following statement,

Now I have no idea what this means. I think perhaps it is a piece of subtitle which has been frozen or something. It appears to be an American quote (based on the word “gotten” instead of “got”,) other than that I have no idea. Does anyone recognise this? What does it mean? Does it have anything to do with Whinnie the Pooh?

2

Googling “Porridge Detector Protector,” it appears to be from an episode of Sesame Street.

3

Interesting thanks. Now I just have to find out what the phrase is doing in large friendly lettering at the bottom of my, otherwise blank, television screen.

4

Warning you that the bears have acquired a porridge detector protector so you can no longer rely on disabling their detector to keep them from finding your porridge. Better eat it.

5

You’re probably right that it was ghost closed captioning. Probably from a show with a joke referencing the Little Three Bears.

6

And searching on the smart card error, I find this from the Mediacom website - a provider of satellite TV and Pay TV converters:

7

Sounds more like some thing The Three Bears would have bought to protect themselves from Goldilocks.

8

But Goldilocks can still beat them if she uses a porridge detector protector rejector.

9

Will the madness of the porridge arms race end before the fools destroy us all?

10

For a serious answer, when my DISH network box used to go hinky, I had to remove the smart card, clean it with a clean soft cloth & put it back in the receiver. Look for a small door on the front of the cable box (if you have one), push it (it should be spring-loaded) and you should see the end of a credit card. Pull it out, wipe it and push it back in. If it’s the same problem, you should have a 5-minute rebooting and then you’ll be fine. The dialog is a CC that got stuck, I think.

11

That one sounds just right.

12

The projected trajectories of the porridge-related arms capabilities of various factions show that the next step is the development of a porridge detector protector rejector deflector, which would act to disperse the signal emitted by the porridge detector protector rejector over several sectors, rendering it too weak to be effective. To counter this a porridge detector protector rejector deflector ejector would be developed which, if enabled, would cause a porridge detector protector rejector deflector to disengage itself from the central porridge interface. In response - the porridge detector protector rejector deflector ejector reflector. This device would shield the porridge detector protector rejector deflector with a reflective barrier working on the same frequencies as the porridge detector protector rejector deflector ejector - sending the signal back to it’s origins and causing the porridge detector protector rejector deflector ejector to eject itself.

Though the intermediate steps between this point and the development of a porridge super weapon capable of killing us all cannot be reliably predicted - it is believed that such a device would take the form of a porridge detector protector rejector deflector ejector reflector vector-selector connector injector resulting in a MAP* scenario the likes of which we have neither the technology nor the mental capacity to deal with.

*Mutually Assured Porridge.

That’s right. Everybody gets porridge. What?

13

Thanks, It was in my hotel room that I have since vacated so solving the channel error is not a big issue, I just found the caption very surreal.