Thank you for the glimpse into a life choice I don’t know much about.
You’ve mentioned a number of things about the monastic life that you really like.
Aside from getting up at 5AM and feeling a bit isolated because of age differences, are there any parts of the life that you find difficult? Is there anything from the non-monastic life that you miss?
Also, I can’t tell from your description of an average day, what are the requirements for living as a Benedictine nun?
So what (if anything) do you do for dinner on those nights? Do you eat at the transitional home? Pick up a sandwich from Subway? Or are you expected to fast?
I find your period of discernment interesting, one reason being that I was baptized Catholic and went to church for a few years before the Vatican II reforms kicked in and met with my father’s disapproval. Had he not parted ways with the Church (or, as he puts it, the Church parted ways with him), I would have likely ended up going to Catholic schools and being groomed for the priesthood. And since Dad attended Cleveland’s Benedictine High School, I could easily have joined the order you’re now considering!
Thanks for your updates. Please ignore my questions if they’re too personal or if you don’t want to turn this into another “Ask the…” thread, but I’m a lawyer, and I find the legal issues of joining a convent fascinating.
Will you maintain a driver’s license? If not, will you have a state ID card, or will you go “off the grid”?
Will you have a personal income? Are you permitted to maintain ownership of a bank account or other assets (house, car, IRA)? Will you file a tax return?
Does the convent support itself from the school fees, or is it funded externally?
How is your health care handled? Does the convent care for its elderly members, or is there some other sort of “retirement” provision?
How do you think the nuns would feel about someone dropping by to watch Jeopardy with them? That is probably one of the most awesome things I have ever heard. I feel sort of bad that your description makes me want to go to your monastery … not for a retreat, and not for discernment, but to hang out because it sounds fun.
Best wishes as you continue with your discernment.
Here’s kind of a silly question – do you really have to make an effort to watch your language, or were you not much of a cusser before you joined the community?
Nah, that’s my family’s job. I occasionally am called Mosquito (a camp nickname which I derived my username from) by them, which has also been adapted into Sister Mary Mosquito. From there, “How do you solve a problem like Mosquito?” came quite naturally.
Definitely!
I miss beer. We have beer and wine on Sundays (to celebrate the Lord’s day!) and special feast days. In the outside world, I would normally have a beer or two each evening with dinner. I really like a hoppy IPA and the standard around her is Yeungling Lager. It isn’t bad, but it does make it exciting when even something like a Sam Adam’s makes it into the beer bucket. The sister that is in charge of buying the beer isn’t a beer drinker herself. I imagine that she would get a different variety if I asked, but I’m new enough that I don’t feel comfortable imposing my beer preferences on the community yet.
I’m not sure that I understand your second question. Do you mean what are the requirements to become a Benedictine nun? If so, you have to be fit enough to contribute to the community in some way, at least 21, and earnestly seeking God. If you fit those basic requirements and aren’t completely nuts, there’s a lot of prayer that happens by the entire community during your discernment and formation to help figure out if this is the community for you. If you’re asking about something else or want further explanation, let me know.
I pack a brown bag dinner on nights I work at the transitional home and then I eat when I get there. Once a week, we send two people to Paneras in the evening to pick up left over baked goods from that day, so I normally grab a cheese bagel from Paneras and a packet of feta cheese salad dressing (not from Paneras) to dip it in, an apple or other fruit, some yogurt, and some oatmeal cookies with peanut butter smeared on them.
I will maintain my driver’s license. In fact, I just got it updated with my new address on it recently.
I don’t really know much about the financial side of the community, but I will try to answer your questions as best as possible. Each sister receives a small budget each month to cover things like toiletries, clothing, and other necessities. Things like medicine and doctor bills do not come out of this budget, but are covered by the community. Any big things like cars and houses are given away/sold/donated/whatever before entering the monastery. If they are donated to the community, they no long belong to the individual who previously owned them, which I’ve heard can be hard with things like cars. It’s hard to transition out of thinking of the car as “my car” and weird to watch others drive away in it. FWIW, I will probably give my car to one of my sisters (birth sister) who badly needs it.
Any income that a sister brings in, say by working at a school, is deposited into the community’s bank account. The individual sister never sees it. I believe that for governmental purposes income taxes are filed as if the sister earned the money and received it in the normal way and I also believe that our treasurer does the paper work for that. This is all a guess though. Because my paycheck still makes its way to me, I haven’t really thought too much on the subject.
I’m not entirely sure where the monastery gets its money from. I know that some of it is from the paychecks of sisters that work outside of the community and some of it is from donations, but it seems like the money coming in can’t possibly be as much as the money going out. I wouldn’t be surprised to hear that we have various investments, but with how the economy is going, that might not be too profitable. This is another one of those things that I don’t really pay too much attention to; sorry.
Health care costs are all covered by the community. There isn’t any retirement from being a Benedictine in the traditional sense of retiring, but ministries do change. Each Labor Day, we have a special ceremony where the prioress hands each sister an envelope that has her ministry for the year in it and offers her blessings on the ministries. None of the assignments are usually any surprise. For the older sisters, their ministries are things like praying for vocations and drying the silverware after lunch. Beyond that, their days are spent in the infirmary of the monastery where we always have a nurse on call to help them as needed. There’s also a TV and computer up there. When they’re able, they join the rest of the community for prayer, meals, and social time, but they’re schedule is based entirely around what they are able to do.
They’d probably enjoy it. Visitors are welcome in the main building until eight at night. After that, they are politely asked to leave because some of the sisters like to watch TV in their night gowns in the evening. Jeopardy ends at eight though, so you’d be okay. If you’re smart, you’d come for dinner. The food here is always tasty.
I wasn’t too much of a cusser before I came, so watching my language hasn’t been hard. Probably the only word I try to curb is “sucks”. I don’t think I would be chastised for it or anything, but it seems to be a rather generational word and the generation that most of the sisters belong to don’t generally appreciate it. After working with kids for a while though, it’s easy enough for me to substitute “stinks”.
And also with you (and everyone else who has wished me well in this thread)!
MissMOssie - Have you by any chance read Aging With Grace? It’s a book by an epidemiologist who got a commitment from an entire order of teaching sisters to study their backgrounds, health (both physical and mental) and ultimately dissecting their brains to learn more about Alzheimers. The study has been on-going for over twenty years, and the changing roles of the sisters as they age is interesting. It’s really a fascinating book.
Many thanks, MissMossie, for starting this thread. I find it fascinating. I’m Episcopalian (of the American offshoot of the Church of England) and once met and talked with an Episcopal nun. There are only a few hundred of them nationwide, and I was interested to learn about her life and work, too.
Some questions, if I may. Feel free not to answer any that you wish:
Are you expected to be celibate? How will you deal with that longtime, if so?
Would you ever want to be a priest, if that were an option?
What are your views on Pope Francis?
Have you had anyone react to you with hostility due to the Catholic child sex abuse scandals, or for any other reason?
Are you allowed to register and vote?
Have any of your sisters ever been called for jury duty, and served?
Do you like to read for pleasure? Do you have enough time for it? Are there restrictions on what you’re allowed to read in your free time?
Are there any foods that you miss? Do you have any opportunities to go out and get it?
Thanks again. Keep up the good work, and may God bless and keep you! I will pray for you.
I was raised a die hard Protestant but have a fascination with nuns. This thread may be 10 years old but was worth the read. I wish the OP would give an update.
In most Orders, yes. Some Orders only accept temporary vows, meaning you can at any time choose not to renew them.
And they deal with it the same way as any other celibate woman.
Why would they not be? Who’s supposed to tell them not to, the government? Nice separation of church and state there. The Order? They’ve got no reason to do such a stupid thing, which would be illegal in… any country where women can vote.
I’m from a country where juries are still considered experimental and I know a couple of nuns who got to serve in juries. One of them was really excited, as she’s cloistered and it was a nice outing (she hadn’t left the convent in over 20 years, due in part to being in such ridiculously good health that she only saw the doctor for yearly checkups at the convent).
Yes, they get “me time”. I haven’t heard of restrictions on subject matter, although I suspect The Necronomicon may be frowned upon.
“My” Claras convent has a nun read to the ones who are working (it’s one of the duties the Really Ancient Ones may still be able to perform); subject matter can range widely. They like getting suggestions from visitors. Stuff which can be dropped easily, such as poetry or short stories, is preferred over long novels.