Additional note: don’t worry about who the police will believe. They see crazy all the time and are pretty good at spotting it.
Furthermore if you were to step away from yourself and witness your situation from afar you would too, and you would probably end up advising yourself to leave, which would begin a feedback loop on the Dope which could only end in an explosion.
Okay, let’s nip this in the bud right now.
First, I want to say that I do appreciate the positive feedback. It’s refreshing to find a place on the Internet where people actually offer genuine sympathy and sensible advice, without resorting to LULZ and other trolling remarks.
Second, with all due respect, I do find it a wee bit annoying that the constant refrain has been, “Move out, do not pass GO, do not collect $3,750 (adjusted for inflation)” if only because it’s very easy to type those words into a reply box, without thinking about how HUGE a pain in the ass it is for even the most financially stable person to uproot their belongings and move out, even if it’s not an unplanned situation. I don’t mean to imply that the option is completely avoidable, and I’m sorry if it sounds like I’m pissing in everyone’s morning coffee, but hey, I’m not in the best mood right now.
Third…the good news is, as of yesterday, it’s probably a moot point anyway. LLFP has often expressed how he doesn’t like this neighborhood, how the crickets and the barking dogs annoy him, to say nothing of the car break-ins and neighbors who don’t speak English (his words, not mine.) If I’m reading the situation correctly, the ball’s already rolling for him to move out, it just takes time to figure out where and when and how soon. (Fingers crossed, people!)
Regarding the police – that depends on how he behaves from now on. As of this morning he seems to be avoiding me completely, which is fine by me – been there done that, as they say. Part of me does regret not dropping the hammer when I had the chance, though…he could have used a life lesson in how certain actions have consequences. Ah well, no use crying over spilt milk.
Fair enough, but do remember we don’t know what you do, we only know what you tell us and that is a small window. And I am going to take a little umbrage over the idea that “you don’t know what it’s like.”
A quick glance at some of the responders here tells me we very much know what it’s like, and many of us had to do it ourselves, so please be careful when dismissing the advice of the responders. These aren’t just bystanders, there are veterans here.
Good luck to you.
And so it goes as it does with all these threads. Advice asked for, good advice given but not what the OP wanted to hear, OP will ignore advice because it’s not what they wanted to hear.
I really don’t know why people keep trying, but good for you who do.
I’m not sure if I’m reading this correctly. Are you saying that you have in the past acted out in the way your brother is currently acting out?
I can’t believe you need someone to point out the obvious.
What it looks like to those of us that have got up and left bad situations is that you are so invested in proving that you are the victim in an emotional and psychological tango with this man that you don’t mind spending 100 times more time dealing with this situation than the time it would take to move.
HUGE pain in the ass now, which is temporary. You’ll be away from crazy guy and happy. MORE pains in the ass forever and ever and ever and ever if you do not move out.
I hate to tell you, but this sounds very much like: “Well he’s being really nice to me now, and brought me flowers, so I really think he’ll change and not beat me up anymore. I guess I’ll stand by my man.”
Look, I’m aware that just about every person here has faced a living situation where the only reasonable choice was to cut your losses and book it, no matter who’s really at fault. I’ve been there myself, and I’d be surprised if any person in the world has been there.
But there are times in life when you need to make a stand. Bend like a reed in the wind, if you will. Violence aside, there’s really nothing he can say or do to me that won’t roll off my back, I’ve been through worse. For heck’s sake, LLFP only has a few weeks left until his final exams, at which point he’ll have to make a decision about HIS living situation, and for all I know he may choose to take off to Tahiti again, or whatever. Everything in life is temporary, and some things are more temporary than others. And the game plan won’t change unless/until his mommy serves me 60 Day Notice, which may or may not happen.
Make no mistake, if he ever gets that “crazy look” like 2gigch1 mentioned, or he gets violent again, it’s 911 for him. No need to worry about that, fellas.
**GET OUT. **
****[SIZE=7]GET OUT. **
**[SIZE=7]GET OUT. [/SIZE]
[/SIZE]
You are too entangled in this situation to see how self-serving and ridiculous this sentiment is right now. Is it really worth your sanity, your limbs, or maybe even your life if he continues to escalate the physical violence?
**GET OUT. **
We cannot force you to make the right decision, all we can do is hope to convince you that **GETTING OUT ***is *the right decision, and you’re merely being stubborn and complacent by refusing to acknowledge this.
Officer 1: So what happened here?
Officer 2: Looks like his roommate stabbed him in the middle of the night.
Officer 1: Too bad no one told him he should move out.
Officer 2: Yeah, (shoulder shrug)
This ain’t one of them, IMO.
He’s not going to move out, and you’re going to be right where you are now in a few months. And we’re going to tell you the same things and you may very well ignore the advice.
Do you seriously believe, that even if you’re right and get him to move along this time, that this kid isn’t going to come back around and pressure Mommy into either taking him in, or putting him into the house, she appears to own and rent to you?
Not terribly far sighted, if so. And when that time comes, he’s either going to pressure her into pesterimg you to, either move out, or take him again as a roommate. If you think that will be pleasant or conveniently timed, your one optimistic fellow!
Whoa, that was unexpected. Let me start over.
LLFP isn’t normally the violent type. Yesterday was the first day he actually crossed that line. That’s what caught me off guard, because it came so completely from left field that I wasn’t sure what to do at first.
Since then, however, all he has done is open all the upstairs windows due to the heater being on while he’s gone. Later he closed his own window but left the others open, so I closed them myself. (Except the bathroom window – let him deal with a freezing cold shower in the morning!)
He also drank one of my Dr. Peppers. I think. It might have been me.
Keep in mind this isn’t some stranger, he’s my baby brother who I helped raise from a pup. He played his trump card by dragging mommy into the situation, he didn’t get his way, and now all he can do is act like an annoying brat of a baby brother. Which isn’t anything I’m not used to…hell, when he was ten years old I could already write a book!
He ain’t nothing. Back in the day, I used to hang out with drug dealers and gang members. Now THAT was scary!
(fuckin’ Internet…)
Maybe the calming, soothing effect of alcohol is what is needed here.
Buy a 1/2 gallon of Ketel One, a 1/2 gallon of Jim Beam, a couple of cases of Icehouse and a few bottles of you and your brother’s favorite wines and cordials, so that the next time there is tension and/or conflict between you, the stiff drinks can begin flowing freely, eventually leading to big hugs all around.
Remember, nothing settles down an escalating domestic dispute than all parties involved drinking to excess!!!
He might. But I can’t imagine her taking his side unilaterally, after all this.
You have a poor imagination. 
Oh, you’re wrong about that. 
Keep in mind, there’s been a strong reversal since yesterday. I’ll admit, I had been taken in by many of his lies that he’s been saying over the last few weeks, how he orchestrated the purchase of this house while traveling abroad, how he has ultimate power over whether I stay or get kicked out, so I’d better give in to his spoiled petty irrational uncompromising demands or else he’ll make that phone call and it’s all over for me. Well, finally I stopped giving a fuck and said, make the call bitch. He did, and he failed. Now I know he’s been lying to me all this time and I’m rather pissed off about it, but at the same time empowered by the fact that he has NO power at all. So all he can do now is act like an annoying brat. As I said upthread, that ain’t nothin’ to me.
My sole concern is just how long he can keep this shit up. He can’t escalate because he knows what number I’ll dial, and he can’t spread lies behind my back because everyone knows he’s a liar now. It’s annoying but I have the patience of Job when I know what the real score is.
Am I enjoying this? Not remotely. But it’s certainly been energizing. That’s the silver lining in all this, I needed a kickstart to get some shit done that’s been piling up the last few months.
Stop making excuses, and get out.
I won’t chime in on the “MOVE OUT” chorus.
However: he’s starting to make up lies about you. If anything escalates, you could go to jail. Even if it’s a simple matter of getting hauled down to the precinct, being heard out, and having them decline to press charges, it’s a huge inconvenience, looks bad for you and not him (since he doesn’t give a rat’s ass), etc. You could even spend a night or three in jail.
If I understand things: he’s your half brother, same dad different mom, and his mother owns the condo, right? And you’re paying her something like a fair market rent for the place?
If so: maybe it’s time to talk to your stepmother and say “look, this is just NOT WORKING, you heard him make shit up about me. He needs to be gone. Now.”.
You’re right, it’s a huge hassle for you to move, and it’s your home, so you shouldn’t have to.
BUT, you shouldn’t have to put up with being in physical or legal danger in your own home, either.
Boot him, change the locks, and get a security system. If your stepmother says “it’s your place or the streets, boohoo”, then maybe “the streets” are where he belongs(which is harsh as hell, I know). Can’t he go back to her place? If not, why not?
Like finding a new place.
You posting this in MPSIMS so you’re not necessarily looking for advice. But as disinterested observers who have read what you’ve written most of us have drawn the same conclusion - your current living situation isn’t going to improve while he’s there. We conclude this because of life experience and your seemingly bizarre acceptance of physical abuse.
Yes, you can stay there and fight this battle and maybe you’ll win. But it will be a costly battle and in the end you’ll be in an awkward situation. To most of us reading your saga it seems you have an irrational need to “win” here, and have lost sight of the fact that one’s living situation needn’t be a daily source of drama and conflict.
It’s good that the situation has motivated you to take action, but you’re trying to solve the wrong problem.