I hope you’re right, but be honest with yourself, if the choice was he lives in her house or she foists him off on you, which do you think she’ll choose?
I especially hope you’re right, about this resolving itself, once his schooling is done. That would be awesome for you. But what if he bombs out of school? Then what? Will it come down to she’s got to take him in, or you do? What will you choose if it does? Still want to stay on there, if you must have him as your roommate? Just curious.
I’m mostly glad to hear you’re feeling better, about things working out your way!
I read this and wonder, is this normal life you to? When you were growing up, did you simply become accustomed to instability, chaos, arguments, threats, intimidation, insults, and all that crap?
Because you say that you have drawn a line at physical violence, but every single other person who is giving you advice is implicitly saying that you should have drawn the red line miles, miles, MILES before violence.
I’m confident that nobody here would put up with a roommate that tried to intimidate you with threats about you being kicked out of the place. Nobody here would put up with a roommate that’s constantly argumentative. Nobody here would put up with a roommate who is a serial liar. Nobody here would would up with a roommate that doesn’t pay their way and is a total deadbeat.
You have made your own bed by ignoring serious antisocial behavior (“that ain’t nothin’ to me”) and it has escalated to the point of violence. People are telling you to move out now only because there is no time machine to go back months (years?) and tell you that you should have moved out way back then.
Don’t think that hasn’t crossed my mind. Been there, done that. However, that only works if the person making up stories is cool, calm and collected, or at least charming enough to get people to believe their lies. It’s not so effective when you’re sweating profusely, shaking like a drug addict, yelling and screaming and threatening to break things. As stated by someone upthread, cops can see right through that crazy shit.
She’ll probably take him in. He is her youngest son after all, and if he can’t live with friends or deal with other family members, where else is he gonna go?
Can’t argue with that. But truth be told, violence isn’t necessarily a deal-breaker. However, one thing I refuse to abide by is LIES. Esp. LIES that I fall into believing. I didn’t raise a fuss before, because he had me convinced that some of his lies were true. And now that I know he was lying all this time – within the last 24 hours, mind you – I’m still smoldering inside. I don’t care if he actually apologizes or seeks help or begs forgiveness at this point (fat chance of that happening anyway) – his weeks of lies have created a rift that will take a very, very long time to mend.
Actually, there’s been a brand new development just as I was typing this. My therapist just sent me word that LLFP actually called HIM this morning (I gave LLFP the number but didn’t expect him to actually use it, so this comes as a BIG surprise!) They haven’t spoken yet, and I don’t know how it will go yet, but he promised me an update later tonight. Things are happening!
Something you should remember. He knows when and where you sleep. While you aren’t afraid of him while you are awake, can you say the same when sleeping?
Since when is LLHP his patient? And FYI the “update” is that we’ve scheduled a family meeting next week to talk shit out. Anti-climactic, I know, but life is like that sometimes.
You made it sound like your brother called a therapist who you also use and the therapist called you immediately after to dish that brother had called. You then made it sound like the therapist said he would call you as soon as he meets with brother to fill you in on all the details.
Technically, it’s own by the Dynasty Trust, which was inherited from LLFP’s grandmother when she died two years ago. LLFP is a direct heir, but does not yet have direct access to the money.
She is one of the trustees, yes.
Not market rate, but yes.
I do, yes. AFAIK, roomie does not have a written lease, but I’m not 100% on whether that’s true or if it even matters, legally speaking.
The part where the therapist knowingly violated HIPAA and ethical guidelines. There is exactly one way that they could have engaged in this behavior that wouldn’t cause them to run afoul of the licensing board, but you don’t even remotely describe that situation here. So I’m going to have to echo the “WTF” to this part of your saga.
I think what David is getting at is that his half brother called the therapist, therapist called David to explain that half brother wanted a group family meeting, and then called David back to confirm the time.
Is that right?
I don’t think the therapist called David to say, “Guess who called ME today?”
I think no amount of advice will solve all the fucked uppedness of this situation, so I’m out.
Good luck to you, OP. Hope this works out for you. I wouldn’t tolerate living that way, but that’s me. Apparently you have a lower tolerance threshold for fucked uppedness than I do.
If his Mom owns the house and is renting to you (you mentioned half-brother, so I assume she isn’t YOUR mom as well) then you really need to move. Or talk to her and explain the situation and have her, as the homeowner, get your brother to move out. It doesn’t sound like he is paying the rent, YOU are, and if you have a lease I am sure HIS name is not on it.
Short of that, beat his fucking ass the next time he pulls any violent shit. Then kick him out.
