My brother is an irresponsible fuckhead

The BBQ Pit
1

This is a rant about my brother. That would be the brother who moved to live in my town from the other side of the country because his marriage failed and he wanted a fresh start. This would be the brother who literally got off the plane with a backpack and $800 to his name and moved into our spare room. And I discovered the following: he showers every fifth day or so, he doesn’t own a toothbrush, he dislikes deodorant, he really likes beer. And wine, if there isn’t any beer. And if there isn’t any beer or wine, he will hit you up for money to go to the pub for the afternoon.

Background: I was reunited with my brother about 7 years ago. I tracked him down after my mother’s death when I found the adoption papers in her belongings. So he’s my half brother, and we’re nothing alike, and I don’t like him very much and I was happy for him to stay in Western Australia. Except he didn’t.

At this point I should add that he wanted to go north and work in the mines but couldn’t stay off cannabis long enough to pass the drug screen.

He arrived on a Wednesday 9 weeks ago and he started a job the following Monday (which I found for him – he’s a welder, no shortage of jobs).

His crimes thus far into my tale are: his personal hygiene is shocking; he washed his clothes once in 8 weeks; he was very reluctant to pay his share of food and drink; he is a tinfoil hat brigade member; he monopolized our pay tv; and generally hit on all our female friends.

My husband begged me to get him out the house, so I found him a nice flat for $100 a week. Okay, nice probably isn’t the BEST word, more like neat. To get him out, we parted with about $700 for two weeks rent in advance and the bond. We bought him kitchen stuff, bathroom stuff, gave him a table, chairs, a mattress and linen as well.

He moved in on a Friday night. I lent him my car for the evening and told him to return it the next day. The next morning (also his pay day) he returned my car and offered me …. well, nothing really. He was broke because the unmitigated irresponsible little fuck had spent his wages on a Sony Playstation 3.

Last weekend I wanted to get out of town so we packed up the ute and headed for the bush. I told my brother that if wanted to borrow my car he could, but had to get the house key from my neighbour (sort of a monitoring system).

We came home Sunday afternoon, and the first thing I went to do was a load of washing – except I was out of powder. Obviously he’d finally done some washing. And drank our beer. And left me without any petrol. He came over Wednesday night to borrow DVDs and I casually remarked to him “got yourself breath tested on the weekend?”. His head pulled back and he said ‘yeah, how’d you know?” and I said ‘cause you left the straw in the console of the car’. I didn’t think it was a big deal until he said; “Yeah, they got me” and proceeded to spill his guts that he was breath tested on Saturday night, and he’s lost his license for 13 months, but the guy who was in my car with him was arrested on the spot for outstanding warrants for break and enters all over the state.

WTF? Losing your license for 13 months for a first offence means he was 3 times the legal limit. And he had a criminal in my car. And apparently told this guy that he was minding his sister’s house whilst we were out of town. Nice one you fucking maniac.

He’s coming over tonight, I haven’t spoken to him since I found out on Wednesday. He’s getting a fuck off speech, and I suspect he’s coming over to ask for help to pay the fucking fine. And if that happens, I’ll politely suggest that he chooses 30 days in jail instead, and I hope he gets to be someone’s fucking girlfriend.:mad::mad::mad:

2

Good for you. Just because he’s a blood relative doesn’t mean jack if he’s a worthless person.

3

Do not allow him to take advantage of you anymore. Cut off all contact. Now. Kaput.

4

So was mine. But he’s dead now, so fuck him.

5

No - you go first!
:wink:

6

DellieM, get your locks changed and please consider changng your phone number. Really. This won’t stop.

7

Seriously? I’ve got two brothers and they’re both complete shit but I don’t hope they get raped in jail.

Harsh.

8

Maybe holding hands with his cellmate will jog his memory that the reaon he’s in there is because he put people’s lives in danger by driving at 3 times the fucking legal limit. And it’s not like he’s a kid who made a stupid mistake - he’s 33 and needs to wake up to himself.

9

I feel very bad for you. I know what it’s like to have a shitty brother – mine (step-brother) fortunately is thousands of miles away from me. He smokes pot every day (“wake-and-bake”) and has done so for the past 20 years. The only job he’s been able to have is as a gas station attendant. Otherwise he just mooches off our parents and his grandparents.

A few years ago he stole a few thousand dollars from me. At that point I told him I could not be a part of his life unless he made some serious changes. He didn’t, and so we (my family) no longer have anything to do with him.

10

That seems a little harsh. He may be a stupid person, but he is family, and since he hasn’t done anything malicious, there’s no reason to cut off all contact.

That said, if you give him another dime you’re a fool. Cut him off, kick him out of the house, and don’t give him anything that will constitute a loss for you once he wastes it.

11

Along the lines of those warning you to change your locks, check your place to see what else might be missing. Whether it’s your brother using that stuff or his criminal buddy who has outstanding warrants, one of those two might have helped themselves to jewelry, CDs/DVDs, maybe a credit card application you hadn’t opened yet, whatever you might not have noticed but might have value to either of them.

12

My Step brother and haven’t spoken for over 18 years. He attempted to take advantage of me when I offered to try and help him out. fortunately I stopped him right there. I knew that if I let him get a foothold in my house it would be a problem. When I was around 12 years old though a cousin and her two rotten kids needed a place to stay and my grandparents let her move in with us until she found anapartment and a job. Four months later she didn’t even attempt to do either. It was nightmare. My grandfather wanted her out ASAP, but grandma didn’t want to just toss family out. Long story short my grandfather finally got really pissed and just told her, “You gotta go.”.

As an adult she did a few things to me that really really made me want to strangle her, one thing being hiding stolen goods in my house when I was out, and eating all of my food one night when she and her worthless fat friend had the munchies from getting high all night. My mother had to intervene because I was completely willing to go to her house (which belonged to my grandma…it was an old family house, grandma was living with my mother at the time. Cousin Worthless was living there RENT FREE!) and beat the snot out of her.

Its always hard to deal with family like that. I try not to.

13

I will never understand why some people use “but he’s family” as a reason to keep horrible, vile people in their lives.

“Biology” does NOT = “family”.

14

Originally posted by Ferret Herder

This, please do this. Been there, done that, paying the price. Trust me on this one.

15

When people say “maintain ties with your family no matter what” I want to point them to stories like these and others (including mine). Bullshit. We’re expected to put up with shit from family that we never would normally, all in the name of blood.

Good for you. Do what others have said, and count your blessings this was all.

16

Just because you a related to someone is not reason enough to associate with them.

17

I was about to respond with the same thing. Sharing genetics is a crap reason, especially if it’s the only reason to have someone around.

18

I’ll stand by what I said. I don’t think the OP should even invest any more emotional energy on this half-brother. Sometimes the emotional turmoil is even harder to deal with than the loss of money or possessions. It does not sound like the half-brother is worth it in the least.

19

Here’s another vote for this. You haven’t even reached the point of the lowest down skunky crap he and his buddies are going to pull in the future. Don’t wast more of your money or time trying to help him. You’re just an easy mark to him.

20

You’re out of your mind. People like this are either stupid, malicious, or psychopathic, and either way, maintaining contact is the best way to find oneself stuck in a bad situation with no way out. These people NEVER GIVE UP. They never stop asking. They never learn. They never change their ways. There is no reason to maintain contact with them, because said contact contributes nothing to the life of their victims.

And everyone they meet is a victim, or potential victim. People like this live for finding people to take advantage of.

This. Please. Change your phone number, change your locks, check your belongings, put a warning or notice on whatever equivalent of credit reports that Australia has. And do not feel bad about it.