Lives with my mother. i see him once a week or so when I visit.
I have, all my life, had a problem with his impulsive, violent, selfish behavior.
Drugs and alcohol have taken a toll on him. Prison and jail have had their effect as well.
He’s diabetic and not doing to well.
Several years ago, I made a very concious effort to reconcile with him. I took him to lunch, I bought him ciggarettes, beer and groceries. I even had him over for Christmas last year. We had a good time. I had a trust drawn up that allowed him to live in Mom’s house until he died, after she’s gone.
He has always stolen and I’ve made many provisions to protct mom. I am in charge of all the money and try as bets I can to limit his theivery. Mom feels still responsible to him, her first born, so she will not prosecute or kick him out. I have ceaswed to try and talk sense into her.
But this last event has saddened me.
I brought over mom’s Christmas present, a big flat-screen TV with a built-in DVD player. I thought they could both enjoy it. I even bought him a movie.
1 day later he stole it and sold it or gave it away.
So I told him that if it wasn’t back in the house when I came down Saturday I would never buy him anything again. “You can’t do that!” he yelled. I laughed.
Just remember it’s him, not you. Don’t take on guilt, regret, remorse, etc, and concentrate on what you can do for your mum. You sound like a good son.
Well, that truly sucks, but the thing that comes to my mind is the story of the scorpion. You didn’t really think a good tv would be safe in the house with him, did you?
Yeah, it does. It really does suck that you tried to do something nice for your mom and your brother managed to crap on it. Apparently your gifts to your mom have to be of a non-portable, non-resellable variety.
Except the brother has already spent time in prison and it didn’t exactly straighten him out. Maybe he should go back to prison, but that should be because he belongs in prison, not because there’s a chance prison will give him a cold harsh awakening.
At least your mom got one good son out of the deal. Seriously, I’ve seen a serious alcoholic tell his mother to stop babying his chronically unemployed brother while his other drug addicted thief brother nodded in agreement.
Make a hard copy of this thread and keep it with you at all times in case that hope starts springing again.
If it makes you feel any better, the TV provides a good “Last Straw.” It was a demonstration of good faith in your brother which he absolutely broke. So now you have justification (as if you needed any more) to do what you have to do.
Your situation almost sounds like a trivial thing to become upset about, but I suppose that’s a matter of perspective. My best friend recently disconnected from his own brother, after a series of vicious arguments which led to him (the brother) sending back my friend’s passport & birth certificate via U.S. mail with NO tracking or protection whatsoever. Up until that point, I was attempting to defuse the situation – but that particular violation even pissed ME off to the point where I could no longer remain impartial. :mad:
Some people really need to grow up…and sometimes the only way to get their attention is to wash your hands of the whole situation. Sad, but true.
