I think there’s a good chance I’m going to be homeless before the end of the year.
I come from a very dysfunctional family. There is a possibility that my mother (before she developed Dementia) had a mental health problem. Two doctors have said there was clearly something wrong with her. If it wasn’t a mental health problem then I don’t know what was wrong with her, but I was persona non gratia as far as she was concerned.
I have an older brother who either has the same mental health problem, or took his behaviour from mother’s treatment of me. He started just being rude/nasty to me, over the decades he’s added, swearing, spitting, verbal threats of punching/kicking my head in, threats to kill me, and ultimately attempting to punch me.
For reasons I’m not going to try to explain, I am my mother’s Carer. Said brother visits us twice a year. For whatever reason he thinks that there should be a suite of rooms in the house for his exclusive use. There isn’t. We don’t even have a proper spare room.
This angers him greatly (hence the threat to kill me and effort at punching me), he will not stay in a hotel or B&B because as far as he is concerned there should be a room in his parent[s] house for him to use. I will not stay in a hotel or B&B when he’s here because on the one occasion I was out of the house [during one of his visits] he filled 5 bin bags with “rubbish” and threw them out. The “rubbish” consisted of a large portion of my belongings…
About 18 months ago our dad died. His Will was read out by a solicitor. He had a ‘married couple’ Will which bequeaths everything to the surviving spouse, who then makes out a new Will to distribute the estate. The estate being our house. For some reason the Solicitor read out the second Will, in which dad left the house to me. That Will is void.
Back at the house my brother flew into a rage at me, he’s worked hard all his life and has nothing, I on the other hand have sat on my fat arse, done nothing and was given a house for free.
He later accused me of stealing €40,000 from dad’s bank account (I have no idea where he got that figure from)
Separately he then insisted that I was to be removed from the house, and that he was going to call the Gardaí to have them remove me from the house and stopped from re-entering.
I have been told, by a solicitor, that he cannot under any circumstances have me removed from the house, only my mother [the owner of the house] can.
I’m waiting for a diagnosis of what form of Dementia my mother has (I believe she’s had several small strokes). My brother is due to visit us in the next few days/weeks/months (I’m not sure as I am never kept informed of these things, he tends to just turn up on the doorstep). Mother’s Dementia is making her awkward to deal with, especially her current phase - where she thinks people are staying with us. She wants me to prepare meals for these people, or order takeaway, or take them out to dinner.
I have been told not to argue with her, but I cannot go along with what she’s saying because I cannot feed an hallucination. I have tried to tell her that she’s not well, but she just spat in my face (well she tried to, but she couldn’t muster any spittle). She has been raging at me for the last 3 days about my disgraceful behaviour and has said that she doesn’t want me to live in her house any more. I offered to drive her to the Home that she’ll have to go to live in, and managed to defuse the situation.
However if she repeats that to my brother, then there’s going to be a problem.