I said in my update post that “I don’t know what to think… I don’t have a good feeling…”
Her move was so sudden, which makes me think it was a knee-jerk reaction done for the wrong reasons, without really thinking through the pros and cons. I think uprooting the kids so suddenly, the very day after their stepfather is sent to prison, to go to a place where they know nobody except for a cousin Susan barely knows could be confusing, frightening and stressful to the kids, and take away any sense of security they had left.
Greg’s kids were enrolled in summer camps and sports activities and were looking forward to hanging out with their friends and playing at their grandparent’s pool. Now all of a sudden, their stepdad disappears and they are driving across the country with no money to an unknown place, with a relatively unknown person (the cousin). Are they frightened? Do they know what is going on and why? I don’t know, because when Greg attempted to gauge their feelings, he was reprimanded by Susan.
I acknowledge that perhaps it might turn out to be a good thing. That would be awesome. But the suddenness of it, and the fact that it appears not to be thought through very well, makes me skeptical. But I am willing to wait and see.
Not to mention that she did nothing to protect the children and even fought to have him returned to the home to await trial. Extreme denial, during which time he could have been molesting the children in the home.
My question: where is the guardian ad litem in all this? What has he/she reported?
Also, the fact that Greg’s child support is being used to support everyone is not a kick in the balls. He is paying court-ordered support for his own children. If the court determines she is not using the support solely for his children (reasonable pro-rata rent and utilities count), he can request it be reduced. My fear would be that she would either countersue, or even file, for an increase in support due to a material change in circumstance. Might fly, might not.
I agree he should go for full custody and that he should immediately start taking advantage of every single minute of his court-ordered visitation (he should have the order registered in the new state so it can be enforced there), and talk to the children. Sounds like exW doesn’t give them any privacy on the phone. Just my two cents.
One other thing to keep in mind is that ex-wife may be eligible for some public assistance since she no longer has the stepfather’s income. This could be especially important for health insurance for the younger kids. She should be encouraged to apply for any public aid she’s eligible for. It will likely be accompanied by a caseworker working with her to get her into a job.