…but here are my choices for the all-screwball team.
Right-handed pitcher, Dizzy Dean
Left-handed pitcher, Lefty Gomez
Relief pitchers, Rube Waddell & Bo Belinsky
Catcher, Ossee Schreckengost (Waddell’s catcher)
First base, ??
Second base, Charley Gehringer
Shortstop, Leo Durocher
Third base, Pepper Martin
Outfield, Babe Ruth, Jim Piersall, Minnie Minoso
Pinch-hitter, Eddie Gaedel
Pinch runner, Arlie Latham
Utility player, Rabbit Maranville
Manager, Casey Stengel
Coaches: Nick Altrock, Max Patkin, Charlie Grimm
Clubowner: Chris Von Der Ahe
Umpires: Ron Luciano, Emmett Ashford, Bill Byron, Bill Guthrie
The Teeming Millions are invited to suggest a first baseman to complete the team. 
Announcer: Bill Stern
Dick Stewart, perhaps?
[edited]
“Dr. Strangeglove,” eh?
He was with the Dodgers near the end of his career; a club program sold at Dodger Stadium included a picture of him making a slick play at first, with the comment, “‘Dr. Strangeglove,’ indeed!”
Isn’t Ron Guidry Cajun French? He was a heckuva pitcher and should be on the list if French.
Sal “The Barber” Maglie was 100% Italian, and had a better career than Cicotte, so Sal is my choice for the Italian team pitching ace.
How about an “all zombie” team?
He sure is, and his family still mostly speaks French at home.
Moving to the Game Room, if you all would like to continue!
I remember reading that article when it first came out. Even then, there were a few choices I quibbled with.
For example, the Irish team should have had Whitey Ford (an Irish boy from my old neighborhood, Astoria, NY) as its left-handed pitcher.
Of course, the tough part in coming up with an Irish team is that a white player’s ethnicity isn’t always obvious. We almost HAVE to judge by his name (“McGinnity” sure sounds Irish, but “Ford” doesn’t always sound Irish). Do most of us KNOW Rogers Hornsby’s ethnic ancestry? Or Walter Johnson’s?
In any case, if Stein were writing that article today, there are a BUNCH of changes he’d need to make.
LATIN TEAM
Pedro Martinez would have to be the right handed starting pitcher for the Latin team
Mariano Rivera would have to be the Latin team’s top reliever
Pudge Rodriguez would be the new catcher
Albert Pujols would have to be the 1st baseman
BLACK TEAM
Rickey Henderson would be a MUCH better leadoff man and left fielder than Lou Brock
Barry Bonds has to go in the outfield somewhere. I’d move Henry Aaron to first base and put Barry in right, even though his arm wasn’t great.
I’m sure I’ll think of more changes soon.
Stein’s Jewish team included, as the right-handed pitcher, Ed Reulbach, who pitched both games of a doubleheader and won both by shutout–something no other pitcher ever did in the majors! But according to his entry in Wikipedia, he wasn’t Jewish, he was Catholic–he is in fact buried in a Catholic cemetery.
So is there any Jewish right-handed pitcher who could take his place?
Jose Bautista? Ralph Branca? Jason Marquis? Heck, go all the way back, pick Barney Pelty, who played for the St. Louis Browns from 1903-1912. He had a career ERA of 2.63, as much as you can compare stats back in the deadball era to stats now. But you’ve got a bunch of choices. Steve Stone won a Cy Young award. Joe Horlen.
Steve Stone was a right-handed Jewish pitcher who won a Cy Young Award.
He was a good, solid starter, not a star, for most of his career. But he might be the best candidate.
All-Canadian:
C: Russell Martin
1B: Joey Votto, backed up by Justin Morneau
2B: Brett Lawrie
SS: Stubby Clapp. Stubby only played a few MLB games but Canada’s weak at this position and I can’t not have a guy named “Stubby Clapp” on the team
3B: Corey Koskie
OF: Larry Walker
OF: Jason Bay
OF: Tip O’Neill
OF Defensive Replacement: Terry Puhl
DH: Matt Stairs and Jeff Heath in a platoon
SP: Ferguson Jenkins
SP: Reggie Cleveland
SP: Kirk McCaskill
SP: Ryan Dempster
SP: Jeff Francis
RP: Eric Gagne
RP: John Hiller
RP: Paul Quantrill
RP: John Axford
RP: Erik Bedard
Rickey wasn’t as good an outfielder as either Bonds or Aaron. He had a lot of speed, obviously, but wasn’t the most technically proficient outfielder you’ve ever seen. Bonds was by far a better overall fielder, and Hank Aaron is the only one of the three with a right fielder’s arm. Defensively your squad would be better if you asked Henderson to play first base, though regrettably he never played there at all so that might be a disaster. And then where the hell does Willie McCovey play?
The All-African-American team is too deep. I’d suggest at least having a separate Negro League All-Star team to open up a few spots but even then it’s a ludicrously deep field of talent. If you’re in a position where maybe Frank Robinson gets cut in spring training, that’s one hell of a team. You could easily construct a 100-win team from the guys who don’t make the first team.
How about putting together an All-Asian team? We can start with Ichiro Suzuki and Hideki Matsui in the outfield; Hideo Nomo, Yu Darvish, and Chan Ho Park as starting pitchers; and Kazuhiro Sasaki in relief.
Don’t forget Masanori Murakami.
Don’t you think the All-Latin team might start coming close to that depth, depending on where you draw the line for qualifying (e.g. A-Rod was born in the U.S. but family moved back to Dominica when he was a child; if he’s in, then I’m sure some pretty good shortstops are not even being invited to spring training).
Bill Lee would be upset with you about being left off this list, that is, if he bothered to care about this kind of thing.
In the 40 years since the original All-Latin team, the number of players either from Latin American countries or of Latin American descent has increased substantially. It would now make more sense to sub-divide the All-Latin category so there are, for example, separate teams for Puerto Rico, the Dominican Republic, and Cuba.
Nitpick; he moved back to the Domincan Republic. Dominica is a different, albeit similar-sounding, country.
Interesting question. I think it’s a bit more fun to have an All From Countries In Latin America team and then have a Hispanic American club. The Latin American Countries club is going to be frickin’ stacked. Again the B team will be a championship ballclub.
Oh, definitely, the black team has too much talent. I just figured Rickey was a way better choice for leadoff man than Brock, and we HAVE to get Barry on the team somewhere.
It gets complicated. “Ernie Banks or Ozzie Smith” alone is guaranteed to cause brain explosions.