The nostrums sold at head shops that claim to give you a clean test are bullshit. From what I understand, the directions tell you to drink a huge volume of water for a day or so before the test. The water is the key.
The big problem, though, is that THC is fat soluble, and all the water in the world isn’t going to flush it out of your system.
~VOW
This is probably a topic for another thread, but I find this interesting as I know someone personally who passed a surprise drug test several years ago despite having smoked pot a couple of days prior, using one of those clean-test kits—which as you said, did involve drinking a lot of water. (And no, I’m not talking about myself…)
She wasn’t a heavy/daily user— is it possible the water did dilute the urine enough for her to pass, or more likely that they just didn’t actually analyze the samples? (The test was an application requirement for a medical college program, as I recall.)
Not sure about that particular test, but I do know that some testing services will reject too-dilute samples.
Reminds me of the Monty Python insurance sketch.
“Do you really need twelve gallons?”
“No, no, not really.”
“Do you test it?”
“No.”
“Well, why do you want it?”
“Well, we do it to make sure that you’re serious about wanting insurance. I mean, if you’re not, you won’t spend a couple of months filling up that enormous churn with, mmm, so on and so on.”
“Shall I bring it in?”
“Good lord, no. Throw it away.”
From what I was aware, the swab was for alcohol. The urine test was for everything else. My hubby had to give a hair sample for Christ’s sake.
Do’h! That’s what I get for trying to appear SMRT.
Even though the OP’s question has been answered, and it was only a swab test, I wanted to chime in and say that I work offshore, and when they drug test us, they send someone out to the HOTEL we stay in on the night we leave for the ship. They are a certified (I hope) professional, and it’s all very polite and professional. So yeah, at least in Louisiana, there are no laws saying that urine tests have to be done in a doctor’s office.
Also, my dad used to randomly test his employees, and it’s very obvious to the testers he used when someone diluted their urine. The results would come back as such, and my dad could draw his own conclusions about who had drank a ton of water to try and beat the drug test. There’s no reason a normal person should have super dilute urine…
My Brother-in-Law (a heavy pot-smoker at the time) was fired from his trucking job because his urine test was inconclusive because it was so diluted.
Females are often provided with two containers: a normal specimen jar and a wider-mouthed container. You pee in the bigger one and then pour it into the jar.
<Useless information about urine tests>
An actual sterile urine sample requires not only a sterile container, but using an antiseptic wipe on the skin around the urethra and urinating for several seconds before collecting a sample - it’s collected “mid-stream,” so to speak. (I have no idea what tests require a sterile urine sample but I know it’s used sometimes.) Normal drug testing only requires that the sample not be contaminated with something likely to show up as a substance being tested for, which generally should be pretty easy to avoid.
But I always keep a good trace of cocaine at the end of my urethra! I never knew I was supposed to be wiping that off first before drug tests <_<
Which is crazy. Who cares if your employee smokes pot if they get their work done? And all these “drug tests” won’t catch heroin or cocaine or alcohol, as long as you can refrain for a day or two before the test you’ll be fine because they don’t stay in your system.
If you’re a doctor or a cop or a truck driver or if people’s lives are depending on you being alert and at your best, then drug tests make sense. If you’re just sitting in a cubicle making electrons line up then what’s the point?
If anyone tried to watch me go to the bathroom, they’d end up with a cup rammed down their throat 
Taking a good dose of vitamin B12 will give your urine a nice golden tone even if highly diluted (or so I’ve heard 
).
Well, I think in that case, we should all be grateful.
I wonder how they measure “too diluted”. On any given day, I drink about 3 liters of water and 4 cups of coffee.
I’m glad we’re not subjected to drug tests at work. Not because I’m doing anything wrong (I’m not), but because it sounds like it creates a whole new layer of resentment, resistance, and general dissatisfaction among employees.