Use of Can or May

General Questions
#1

As a PBX manager (the head phone guy in a hotel) I have always had scripts that say something similar to “Thank You for Calling…How May I assist you.”

This has always bothered me as it just doesn’t sound right to me. I was taught. Can = Able and May = Permission.

If this is so than a grammatical script should be How Can I assist you. (In other worlds How am I ABLE to assist you) Because to say How May I assist you (how do I have your permission to assist you) just sounds dumb to me.

I asked the Grammar Lady on the internet and she said that I am correct but that AT&T in the 50’s decreed MAY to sound better and insisted their operators do it like that and over the years it changed.

The GM of the hotel says it is grammatically correct as we first must get the guest’s permission BEFORE we can as if we are able to help. But calling us on the phone seems to imply they have given us that permission already.

Any thoughts?? Thank you.

#2

First off, if the powers that be truly feel that this is a problem, and place a higher importance on the semantics than the tone of the operator then there is a problem. I say use which ever you feel like, if it is said with pleasant tone and positive attitude the guest will not be disappointed regardless of which word you choose. Chances are you agree and won’t take issue with an operator who uses the other term than you choose.

I’m not a english expert, but your analysis is the same as I would come to. Say “may” when asking for or granting permission. Say “can” when inquiring about ability. The one caveat is that “may” could also be used to refer to future actions, as in “I may choose not to offer any help to you on this topic.” This context is why using “may” in your context will not be incorrect. If “may” seems more highbrow to you, then I’d guess that it is also correct.

#3

you should use “can” regardless of the stupid AT%T or hotel management people.

I don’t know who first said “everyone’s a critic,” but I think it’s a really stupid saying.

#4

And of course there’s the whole topic of words whose accepted meaning has changed through contstant (mis)use.

For example, nearly everyone I know uses the word “jealous” to mean “envious”. Thus the following grammar joke:

woman#1: “I’m going to Hawaii for two weeks with my husband”

woman#2: “I’m jealous!”

woman#1: “Because I’m going to Hawaii?”

woman#2: “No, because I’ve been having an affair with your husband.”

#5

When I worked in retail sales our manager asked us to say “How may I help you?” rather than “May I help you?”. His reasoning was that the latter question could be answered “No” which would end the conversation, while the former would elicit a response that might lead to further communication (and eventually a sale). He didn’t like “can” because the response would be “I don’t know – can you?”

#6

What’s wrong with “How CAN I help you?”

#7

How can I help you? sounds like you’re throwing your hands up in disgust. Try inserting the words “on earth” after “How” for a clearer picture.

But examine: May I help you? -> How may I help you? In what way will you give your permission to me to help you?

Besides, it sounds more deferential, like the conditional mood in “Would you please…”

#8

Matt_MCL, I can see your point if you have face to face communication. But remember I am talking about over a phone. That is a different situation.

#9

You ARE asking permission to help, not questioning your own ability to do so. May is correct. No one else can answer if you are able (can) to help. One would hope you are not in a position to ask if you might help if you are not able.

“The intellectuals’ chief cause of anguish are one another’s works.”
Jacques Barzun
Cheers! CAL

#10

This is EXACTLY my point. I can see the difference in a face to face one on one situation but on the PHONE it is different.

If you’re in a store the clerk can say “May (permission) I help you?”
You can say “No” and turn away and look or browse.

But on the phone by calling you they have given you permission aleady by calling. In other words, let’s answer the question. I call you on the phone. You say “May (permission) I help you?” I say no. There is nothing for you to do. The only reason you would call a PBX[switchboard] is to get help directing your call to the correct place. Therefore it at that points is not a matter of permission but of ablitiy to direct this call and therefore becomes can(ability).

#11

I hate to have to point this out, but it is a schoolroom superstition that “may” means only “have permission”. That is just one of several meanings. (“May” is to “might” as “shall” is to “should”.)

There is nothing whatever wrong with “How may I assist you?” It doesn’t mean “How can I assist you?” and it doesn’t mean “How am I permitted to assist you?”

John W. Kennedy
“Compact is becoming contract; man only earns and pays.”
– Charles Williams

#12

Schoolroom superstition?!?!?
My dictionary - Can: Used to indicate physical or mental ability. May: To be allowed or permitted to. There is a usage note form the American Heritage Usage Council that supports the can:capacity to do and may:permission usage, while allowing that can is used to express permission by “most speakers, and the permission use of can is even more frequent in Brisish English.” While the definitions I note are the first and prefered, there are other definitions. You may use them as you see fit. I shall stay with the prefered usage.
Markxxx -
I think your original script - “Thank You for Calling…How May I assist you.” - is perfect. You are asking “How do I have your permission to help you?” My answer being, “You have my permission to help me by connecting me with the front desk.” Of course these would be shortened in speech to normal conversational wording. “… How may I assist you?” “Front desk, please.”
Works for me.

“The intellectuals’ chief cause of anguish are one another’s works.”
Jacques Barzun
Cheers! CAL

#13

Then I suggest you get a real dictionary. Even my quick-reference backup dictionary has six definitions for “may”.

John W. Kennedy
“Compact is becoming contract; man only earns and pays.”
– Charles Williams

#14

Mr. Kennedy, I suggest you learn to read.
I wrote “While the definitions I note are the first and prefered, there are other definitions.” Exactly what first or prefered definitions are listed in your (obviously better than my) reference books? Or have I got THAT screwed up, too?

“The intellectuals’ chief cause of anguish are one another’s works.”
Jacques Barzun
Cheers! CAL

#15

You seem to be operating on the assumption that a dictionary lists one “preferred” meaning for a word and that all the others are somehow inferior. At least, I cannot make sense of

on any other theory.

It simply ain’t so.

John W. Kennedy
“Compact is becoming contract; man only earns and pays.”
– Charles Williams

#16

By George, I thinks he’s got it!

According to the introduction in the American Heritage Dictionary (Houghton Mifflin Co, Boston, USA):
“The soul of a dictionary, however, is the quality of its definitions. An objective of the Second College Edition is to provide the user with understanding, comprehension, and appreciation of the language in a readable manner. Therefore, we have endeavored to present the most prevelant contemporary use or meaning of a word first, with the other shades of meaning following logically from this curent, central concept.”

Now, since preferred means: to choose as more desireable; to like better, then I hold that the other definitions ARE inferior (situated under or beneath; low or lower in degree or order; low or lower in quality, value, or estimation.)

It simply IS so!

“The intellectuals’ chief cause of anguish are one another’s works.”
Jacques Barzun
Cheers! CAL