Beware of Doug: I absolutely LOVE you (in an entirely appropriate way, of course)!
[My brother has the only other copy that I know of.]
Is that the funniest book ever, or what? I kept waiting for a daily calendar from these guys (since Dilbert, The Far Side, and Dave Barry are pretty much played out).
A few of my other favorites:
*In mute testimony to the theories of gravity which it conceived, Sir Isaac Newton’s brain is being currently used as a paperweight.
Anandas “Pig Lips” Wallaby was the only man ever to eat toast through a hubcap.
Not only did Nostradamus forget about the 1915 Panama-Pacific Exposition, he misspelled “Edsel.”
Pavlov had little success until he replaced cocoanuts with dogs.
Upon viewing the Pacific Ocean for the first time, Vasco Nunez De Balboa is reputed to have muttered, “Dammit, we’ve walked in a circle.”
Because dentists often used patients’ teeth as Christmas tree ornaments, surgeons were not allowed to decorate their offices at all.
Just as Blake called our eyes “The windows of the soul,” he referred to our ears as “The ventilator shafts of the liver.”*
I’m going to violate fair use laws if I keep going. God, I wish they’d do a sequel.
Nostradamus predicted that an actor would one day become President of the United States!!! An amazing prediction except Nostradamus thought it would be Ben Gazara.
Not true! Speaking of Mel Blanc, a rhyme for month did appear in the short cartoon “Sylvester Visits the Best Little Whorehouse in Texas”. But it’s NSFW.
An inspection light is us DIY’s own tanning booth. Sometimes called a drop light, it is also a good source of vitamin D, “the sunshine vitamin,” which is not otherwise found under cars at night. Health benefits aside, its main purpose is to consume 40-watt light bulbs at about the same rate as 105-mm howitzer shells during the Battle of the Bulge. More often dark than light, its name is somewhat misleading.
