Let’s say you have this machine. It’s basically the holodeck from Star Trek where you can recreate any situation you want, past, present, made-up, you name it. The machine somehow magically knows your past and memories and what you do in the machine has absolutely no real-world repercussions, but everything you do/feel is 100% genuine.
Let’s now say you’re in an exclusive relationship, meaning you don’t have to be married but you have a partner with whom you have a romantic relationship with that isn’t some kind of newfangled open relationship thing.
Would you consider it cheating if you used the machine to, say, recreate that one time in college where you were with a really hot person but never made the move and then learned later you could have exactly as it was…only this time you make your move and mess around/have sex? For all intents and purposes you are having sex with this person “for real” even though they aren’t technically real and there is no chance for disease/pregnancy etc.
Question 2 (as I just now think of it). What if you used it to recreate sex with a minor? Is it as morally wrong/reprehensible as doing it for real? Is there a gray area (say having sex with a 16 year old vs a 5 year old or something)?
Having holodeck sex seems to me like a cross between mentally fantasizing and watching porn, both of which are already readily available to people. I’d say the same “rules” apply, whatever those rules are.
For question one, I think the thing to ask is if your significant other would consider it uncool. I think a lot of SOs would consider using a fleshlight (for a guy) to be unacceptable, so this would probably be unacceptable too. As in “what, I’m so bad he wants a fake vagina instead?”.
Plus, there’s watching porn, which I think most women would turn a blind eye to, and watching the sex tape of you and your ex, or jerking it to a picture of that hot girl from college, etc, which I think most women would not be OK with.
Is it directly, by the dictionary definition, cheating? No, but the reaction will probably be the same.
As far as question 2, drawn images and written stories about pedophilia are illegal, so I imagine holodeck minor sex would be illegal also.
I find this odd, although I suppose that depends on whether a lot of SOs would find a vibrator unacceptable. I guess in that sense, it would be similar.
As for the OP, it would depend on what my SO thought about it, and what our agreement about whether this constitutes a boundary in our relationship was. Off the cuff, as long as it doesn’t draw from my sexual relationship with my wife, I wouldn’t be bothered if she used it. (I assume this is like a virtual reality thing, right? Sorry, I’m embarrassingly not that familiar with Star Trek.)
Effectively, the holodeck creates three-dimension artificial constructs that look, talk, move, feel, smell(probably), act and generally are indistinguishable from real people. Their behavior is controlled by the computer. You can have a discussion with one, tell jokes to it, get in a fight with it, or, per this thread, have sex with it, and pretty much you won’t be able to tell the difference. (I figure in reality you could, but when you use a holodeck you willingly ignore the subtle differences).
So it’s not just a sex-bot, a walking sex toy. It can be, but the appeal is shown to be more intellectual. It’s a infinitely variable role playing fantasy fulfilling system. You want to be an old west gunslinger, a noirish PI, Sherlock Holmes, Robin Hood? No problem. You want to turn the first officer into an oafish simpleton so you don’t feel inferior to him? The ship’s counselor into your own personal beautiful “goddess of empathy”? Done!
So it really is more than just watching porn in a glorified masturbatory machine. The holodeck replicas can talk back, have their own (programmed) opinions. They can react just as a real person might. Having a holodeck sex partner might be like having a real affair, if you are getting emotional benefits as well as physical.
Heck, there’s no reason you couldn’t make a holodeck copy of your own significant other, but “fix” whatever it is you don’t like about him or her. Less whiney, bigger tits, smarter (or dumber!) - anything would be possible. As bad as it might be to find your husband having an affair with a simulcrum of Marylin Monroe, how would you feel if he was cheating on you with (a better) you?
FTR as I was creating this little scenario it was more closely aligned with your last point.
I would think of it as “Who do I want to bone…oh yeah remember that time the Cyndi and I were alone in her parent’s basement in high school? Let’s replay that!” And holodeck would make that situation happen. Walk in…do what you want…end the program and you’re done
I believe the relevant law is the PROTECT Act of 2003, which "Prohibits computer-generated child pornography when “(B) such visual depiction is a computer image or computer-generated image that is, or appears virtually indistinguishable from that of a minor engaging in sexually explicit conduct; (as amended by 1466A for Section 2256(8)(B) of title 18, United States Code).”
From the above link:
I will concede that this doesn’t describe written depictions, but would almost certainly ban child sex in a holodeck.
#1: I consider it cheating because the object of the hurt is your real life spouse. Cheating doesn’t need to be with a real live human being, it is basically trying to get from something else what you don’t get from your spouse. Whether that’s emotional feelings, physical sex, or some other intimacy, cheating is the act of leaving your spouse and doing something with someone else
#2: This is an odd one, but I would say that it is not morally wrong. In fact, I will go so far to say that if such a holodeck exists, we should let all pedophiles get off their jollies in there having sex with whoever they want. The evil of pedophilia is the harm to children. Absent real children, there is no harm. If its harmless, but objectionable, its not morally wrong and people should be able to indulge in it however they want. I would say that if you wanted to murder or torture people in the holodeck, it should be allowed. So long as all actions happen in there, it is neither wrong nor should it be illegal. This is assuming someone doesn’t try to do it for real for the thrill, which I’m sure someone else. If that happens, punish them as normal
I’d imagine for a lot of people, the real sticking point would come in at the point of whether the holodeck people were “real”, as in people they know/interacted with, etc… or if they weren’t. By that, I mean that someone’s SO boning a holodeck Mila Kunis (or Brad Pitt) isn’t all that far from doing their own thing with a photo on the smartphone.
But getting it on with a holographic friend, ex, SIL/BIL, spouse’s friend, college friend, etc… brings an entire other set of emotional and trust issues into things, and I can see that being very problematic.
I also don’t want that search on my NSA records, private and blind sessions ptooey.
But I am reasonably sure such materials are somewhere between illegal and “if we find them we will convict you on something, you sick fuck.” Consider that animation tools of varying quality could easily create highly realistic, or at least jerk-worthy, footage - and I would bet heavily against getting out of an arrest for that.
I think the sticking point with such images is that they are “virtually indistinguishable” from an actual minor. What the law is trying to avoid is someone saying “Oh, that real image of a real child is actually a computer image and totally not real!” Real footage, then, couldn’t be altered just a bit so that it had a weird, artificial look. “If it looks real-ish, it’s real” prevents this.
So there is no reason this logic would apply to a holodeck.
Holodeck actions may be the ultimate definition of victimless crime, but even in the “enlightened future” of ST, would you want to work with a guy who spends his lunch raping holodeck kids or murdering holodeck characters? How about if they look like you?
Which comes back to the original question - because of the emotional aspect of a fake but real holodeck character, I would say it is “cheating” to have a holodeck affair.
Slightly related…ever had sex with an S.O. who recently had a dramatic hair-cut or hair-color change and noticed that it almost feels like you’re having sex with someone else?