Where to begin…
My Girlfriend Em wanted to take a few days vacation at her parents beach house in Seaside Florida. Since, I am unemployed till the 1st of April and she is on school break I could see no reason to not go.
The deal was right. I had a free place to stay 100 yards from the beach pleasant company with a woman I really like and all I had to do was drive and pay for the petrol. ( I averaged 67mpg on the trip down BTW) The trip was stressful, Spring break traffic, road construction and such mundane things to increase the blood pressure. After 7 hours we finally made it to the beach house .
Then Em decides we should do something “Romantic” She wants to go have a picnic on the beach and look at the stars.
This is all well and good unless you understand that she also hinted at sex. Sex in sandy places is a very very bad idea. Little annoying things in every crack and crevice,every crack and crevice. We take a large blanket to the beach and try our best to avoid getting to much sand on the blanket. The sky is clear and the wine cool and everything is going good. After much talking fondling clothes are removed and we are being quite passionate there in the dark on a private beach. I must say everthing got quite hot and heavy. Everything was fine until I felt a cold wet object inserted between my butt cheeks, then I was licked:eek: Needless to say, I screamed. I jump of Em and turn to see this HUGE black Greyhound smiling at me.
As I am hyperventelating and Em is trying to figure out what is going on the owner of the beast calls the dog back into the night.
Jumping Jeebus on a pogo stick! Needless to say that ruined the mood and we beat a hasty retreat to the beach house.
I have to say this is not a good omen for the rest of the trip.
