From: 404 Not Found | 9news.com
Well, I suppose you would, really. I mean, for all I know it might be the correct procedure to follow. On seeing a vampire ahead, you must then drive into the canal. And why not?
I do like the fact that the little news item shares its page with a plea for blood donors, though. 
Might have been the right thing to do.
Ah, I thought about that, you see, but I was not sure whether I would count a canal as being running water. Of course, had I been the one who saw the vampire, I’m guessing I would have headed to the canal too, without pausing to consider finicky little details*. 
Or perhaps I could have breathed garlic at him.
I think someone has read the Twilight books a few to many times.
Oh not me. I haven’t read any. But I do wonder about the unfortunate Colorado canal lady. (And I have just added garlic to my shopping list - well, it’s always useful isn’t it?) 
Much easier just to hang some garlic on the rear-view mirror. Don’t leave home without it.
By the way, what ever happened to seeing aliens or Bigfoot?
You fear they have gone out of fashion and are being neglected? I hope not. Bigfoot would be good. Or a Yeti. A bit far away for me, but I could perhaps get on a bus or two and try to find some aliens, possibly in the not-very-interesting-town of Bonnybridge, where the locals claim to see U.F.O.s
Or I could go and hunt for the Loch Ness Monster. Yeah! We should collect the full set. There must be one or two Dopers near Yeti Country too. So there must be a Quest. All go on a quest and meet back here in a year and a day. 
What I want to know is, how did she know the guy standing in the road was a vampire?
Widow’s perak, slicked-back hair, opera cape, fangs…
Oops! Sorry. Make that:
Blow-dried hair, half-lidded stare, gothy clothes, sparkles in sunlight, fangs…
I thought you were O.K. if you just didn’t speak to the vampire, averted your eyes and drove on. For an extra margin of safety, hurl your Douay Bible out the window at 'em.
Like, it worked in the Stephen King novels.
Frack the vampire.
Its the surrounding cloud of lustfull, doe eyed teenage girls that would freak me the fuck out.
I’m disappointed. This proper spirit of scientific enquiry is no fun. Hey, isn’t a “malleus” a hammer? You will be safe, as long as we get a stake for you to hammer.
Is the sparkly version the one from the “Twilight” book/film whatever it is? I’m not sure they are meant to be sparkly, really. It seems to go against tradition. I mean, you’d never find Christopher Lee in the old creaky Hammer Horror film doing sparkly. It just doesn’t seem right.
A Douai bible? Hmmm. I’ve got an old K.J.V somewhere but if I REALLY must take myself off on a book-buying spree to find the right bible, well, needs must, as they say. It won’t be MY fault if I end up buying extra books just for fun. Oh dear me no.
Oh but you might enjoy it, Billfish78
Yes, but a malleus, incus and stapes won’t do you much good, unless you’re doing ear surgery or something.
Ah, I vaguely thought it was ear things. Oh well. Not much use, as you say. Of course, I always tend to mis-read your name to include not incus but “incubus”, which gives us a whole new set of creepy dangerous demons to deal with.
I am plenty mature enough and old enough to know that the answer to that is a resounding NO!
I don’t care if they have apparently valid ID that says they are 22.
Geez, and I thought ear-worms were bad enough. Now I gotta worry about ear-demons.
I read the vampire this morning on Obscure Store, and immediately sent it to co-workers. The version I read didn’t include the line about prescription drugs, though, which made it funnier somehow.
Y’know, somebody really needs to draw one of those black-silhouette-on-yellow international signs for this.
