"Venting" is overrated.

[eleanorigby]

Venting does diminish my anger. It only stops working when I stop trying to solve the problem or work the issue through. IOW, if it’s the same vent and nothing’s changed, then I just get depressed about it.
Most things I vent about are dust in the wind–once vented, they are gone forever. Much better than when I stew over stuff. (much better for me, not necessarily the people I’m venting to!)

[Markxxx]

The problem is too many people don’t realize that release of anger is a TOOL, not an end.

It reminds me of the saying “A problem stated is half solved.” This is correct, but the issue is people have taken it to mean “A problem state is solved.” No that’s wrong. It’s only HALF solved.

It’s like the people who say “You have to hit rock bottom.” That is fine except they often forget the fact that once you hit rock bottom YOU’RE STILL IN A HOLE!

Understanding is fine as is persepctive, but it only helps you to COPE with the problem. Coping with the problem and solving it are too seperate issues.

[CandidGamera]

@MsWhatsit

Yeah, I agree with this.

I want to clarify my OP somewhat; I am not saying that it doesn’t feel good to “vent”, or that there aren’t legit reasons that you might want to do so. I just disagree that it works to get rid of anger. In my experience, the anger is still there. I may feel somewhat less explosive about it temporarily, but the underlying issue remains. A lot of people seem to think that venting is this therapeutic thing that you can do to relieve tension, but I don’t think it really works that way at all. At least not in the long term.

It doesn’t work for you. Works for me. My anecdote can beat up your anecdote.

[MsWhatsit]

I suppose that what prompted my OP was being subjected to yet another endless rant from an acquaintance of mine, who often precedes her ranting with, “I just need to vent,” or, “I just need to get this off my chest.” Then she rants and raves about some issue or problem in her life that is driving her crazy. She doesn’t really want advice or solutions on how to fix the problem, because she’s “just venting.” Then the next day I get to hear the same stuff all over again. Nothing ever changes. She remains just as angry, as far as I can tell. And personally speaking, I have found that “just venting” usually makes me more focused on the problem and therefore more angry, rather than relieved and feeling better.

I’m willing to believe that there are people out there for whom this is a good and valid technique, but I think it’s overrated and I think there’s a lot of people who are doing it wrong.

[CandidGamera]

@MsWhatsit

I suppose that what prompted my OP was being subjected to yet another endless rant from an acquaintance of mine, who often precedes her ranting with, “I just need to vent,” or, “I just need to get this off my chest.” Then she rants and raves about some issue or problem in her life that is driving her crazy. She doesn’t really want advice or solutions on how to fix the problem, because she’s “just venting.” Then the next day I get to hear the same stuff all over again. Nothing ever changes. She remains just as angry, as far as I can tell. And personally speaking, I have found that “just venting” usually makes me more focused on the problem and therefore more angry, rather than relieved and feeling better.

I’m willing to believe that there are people out there for whom this is a good and valid technique, but I think it’s overrated and I think there’s a lot of people who are doing it wrong.

I’m more inclined to believe that there are some people for whom it won’t work. And some people for whom it works well. It just depends on how your brain’s wired.