Since I was a teen I’ve had these nightmares that are very similar, though the exact situations change every time. An example:
First: I wake up and look at the clock. It’s 2 AM, and I’m really thirsty. I get up and go to the refrigerator to get something to drink. Everything is normal, there is absolutely no sign that I’m dreaming. I pour a glass of milk, and stand there drinking it, when I feel something behind me in the kitchen. My back is to the room and I can feel something big and dark watching me. When I get up I never turn on the lights, it’s so dark in the kitchen that you can feel it in front of you like fog. suddenly in the darkness I catch just the glimmer of eyes…about 6 or 7 feet off the floor. I drop the glass and try to run for the bedroom, but just inches away from the doorway It grabs me, and I can feel it’s claws and hear it breathe…
Second: …And then I wake up, safe in my bed with a start. Breathing heavy, heart hammering, all the normal things that you would expect. I look at the clock. Still the middle of the night. I relax back into bed, just happy to be awake. I think about the dream that I just had, and say to myself “gee…In the dream I was at my mom’s house…I should have realized I was dreaming. That was dumb.” I roll over on the bed, and realize that my hand is in something wet and cold. I open my eyes again and strain to see what it could be, and in the faint light I can only see that it’s dark. I reach over to turn on the light with my dry hand, not knowing what it could be. The light clicks on, and I see a pool of blood on my bed…and more on the floor, and the walls…probably a gallon of what is most definately blood splashed around most violently. I freeze in stomach-clenching terror with my hand still on the lamp. Then I hear a very soft sound from under the bed…
Third: …And I sit bolt upright in bed, gasping. The first thing that I do is make sure that there is no blood, then I lay back, breathing heavy and still absolutely terrorized by that horrible dream. I calm down for about 10 minutes, then I start to analyze the dream. “I don’t even have a bedside lamp…that really should have tipped me off…I’m so silly.” I’m quite wide awake from the nightmare, so I get up to do some reading. “There’s no way that I’ll be able to go back to sleep tonight. That was just too creepy.” I pull out a book and turn on the light, settling in for some nice soothing reading, but there’s something that strikes me as not quite right…the ‘nightmare feeling’ creeps up on me slowly, and I don’t quite realize when it began, but I know that something is very badly wrong. Unable to help myself, I quietly close my book and pad to the door. I listen intently, barely breathing, but hear nothing. I ease the door open a crack…and it’s pulled open fully by sharp-nailed fingers that wedge themselves between the door and the frame. Right in front of me I see something hideous…and I’d let it in. If I hadn’t opened the door, it would have at least taken a little longer to know that I was there. I look at it and I know that It’s going to kill me. I look into it’s eyes…
…and I wake up, shivering in my bed.
This time I’m really awake. Everything is really fine, but I can’t bring myself to quite believe it fully. I have lain awake after one of these dreams for a full hour, just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Waiting for the monster, or the disaster, or the feeling of not-right to show itself.
It’s a really terrible feeling when you don’t know if you’re asleep or awake. If the things that are happening to you are really happening or if you’ll just wake up again.
In the end, I have to treat each of these dreams as if it were happening in reality, because if the one I’m in is reality and I don’t run from the monster then I’ll be killed for real. It may be a holdover from childhood, but I’ve never really believed that monsters don’t exist in real life, so it’s not as easy as saying ‘if that is a monster then I must be dreaming.’
So: Gut-wrenching terror at the time, vaguely creepy when I think about them. Thank goodness that I don’t have them more than once every year or two.
K.