Fear not: it was indeed hypothetical. For one thing, my mother has been dead for over eight years. The thought occurred to me that you never see pet insects at an emergency vet, so I posted what I thought of as a goofy OP to generate some exploration of the subject. No cockroaches were harmed in the creation of this thread (although I am open to suggestions as to how I might harm some by posting on this message board. Unless they’re members, because that would be against the rules).