I am eating an orange, my evening snack, all the while I am checking what’s on TV. I stop on VH1, Madonna’s face is on the screen, I decided I will watch whatever stupid “Rock’s 100 most something” they are showing. Scene changes, a woman is on what looks like a surgical bed, under her a transparent tube carries some brownish liquid. Two minutes later I learn that a collostomy is being performed in front of my very eyes and while I am eating my orange. Yuck!
Of course, you might say “you could have just changed the channel”, well, I didn’t want to eat anymore anyways, so I decided to spend the next few minutes listening to some “rock stars” praising the merits of having a tube stuck in your rear end, having water pumped in and then observing as the offending substance leaves their body through a clear tube. WTF? One of them even said that it helped her “connect with her inner spirit”. The owner of the clinic suggested that customers have at least 20 sessions to feel “the full results”, of course I don’t need to tell you it is a rather pricey. How can these people be so rich if they are so dumb?
Ok… here is my point. What’s the need to show me this shit on TV? Why do people feel the need to share their shit with the rest of the world? Is it even healthy anyways? I have a gut feeling it isn’t. Well I am bad a ranting, but for a moment I will leave aside my Catholic-girl propriety and decorum :rolleyes: and just say FUCK YOU VH1 FOR RUINING MY APPETITE!
“Coming up on All Things Considered, Noah Adams considers the possibility of sucking all things out of Melissa Block’s rear end.
Next week we start our yearly drive to raise money for Cokie Roberts’ enema. But stay tuned now as Ira Flatow regales us with the physics of a Dirty Sanchez.”
I watched that tonight too. My boyfriend shouted at me from the living room, “They’re showing colonics!! On TV! The tube and everything!!”
Ewww.
In the Yellow Pages, they have listings for places that do that sort of thing. It’s under the topic Colonics. Not internal cleansing or any pretty title or anything. They just lay it all out there: Colonics.
"I had my first colonic irrigation. It was in this store in Santa Monica called ‘Water’s Gift.’ I don’t really think of it as a gift. I don’t sit there, ‘OOoooh, I’m making a gift!’
"I’m in the waiting room, and of course they’re playing Enya… there’s something about Enya’s music that really… facilitates release.
"All the …colon hydrotherapists… are also all actors. This was mine. Julie. ‘Hieeee! I’m Julie, come on back! giggle’ And I feel like a john at the Mustang Ranch. I’m making small talk. ‘So, Julie, I notice that all the colon hydrotherapists are women. Is that unusual?’ ‘I think people are more comfortable working with a woman in this kind of atmosphere… It’s sort of like… mommy. Awwwww!’
Fear Factor is one of those reality TV show where the contestants compete for a pot by doing dangerous Hollywood type stunts. The second challenge is always a food challenge. One time they had to eat a raw, half-gestated duckling right out of the egg. It was really gross. And I thought it couldn’t get any worse after the pig uterus eating stunt.
