Violating my rights

In My Humble Opinion
101

It’s sad that the principal did not return the shirt when you asked politely and promised not to wear it to school again. I think that was a reasonable thing for you to do, and it would have been reasonable of her to return it then.

If she is truly screaming and calling it sexual harassment, it sounds like she is not being rational. This greatly reduces the chance of getting this resolved with just her (as you’ve seen), but possibly will work in your favor if other authorities get involved.

As others have pointed out, you’re in a position of little or no power right now. Possibly you’ll be in a position of more power later IF the applicable laws dictate that the shirt must be returned to you at some time.

My suggestion is to first talk to your mother (or other suitable parent/guardian if applicable) to see if she will intervene or your behalf. Yes, she declined once over the phone, but possibly if you and she have a conversation you could persuade her to reconsider.

If that doesn’t work, I think Dinsdalle’s advice in post #97 offers the most promising approach.

102

You are talking to adults here. We aren’t your homeys or schoolmates, we aren’t dissin’ you behind your back when you aren’t here, and we really don’t care if you save face with your friends by showing Authority that you can’t be put down.
And the quote posted above doesn’t impress us in the least. You [del]bad[/del]sad.

103

Bullshit. You wanted trouble, you got it, now you are whining about it.

Get it thru your head - nobody cares about your little tantrums. If you want to be one of the “rebel motherfuckers”, do it on your own time instead of at school.

Now quit wasting the school’s time.

Regards,
Shodan

104

I’m guessing the OP goes to an “alternative” high school.

105

Have you considered taking a course in civics? Or English comprehension and composition? Or just plain comprehension / critical thought?

106

Seriously, reading your posts hurts. That said, I can’t help but read them because of the trainwreck effect.

Anyway,

  1. Your principal should not be screaming at you. I’ll give you that - it’s unprofessional and perhaps you should report that to the school board, if anything.

  2. You’re missing part of your own story - the principal did offer to return your property to you via your mother.

  3. Your mother refused. She apparently agrees with the principal.

  4. Get over it. Unless you can convince your mother to get your shirt back, it’s not going to happen. If you live under your mother’s roof, she can set the rules. If those rules include not having pornographic shirts in the house, she can choose not to have those shirts in the house. If you don’t like your mother’s opinion and this is a huge issue for you, move. If it’s not a big issue, shut your mouth and don’t do this again.

And who cares if people in your school are rebels? It’s not like you’re going to be there much longer (assuming you’re going to graduate in the summer, though with writing like that, I’d be interested to see how you do on an entrance essay to any college).

Also, with respect to violating your rights, if I had a dollar for every time someone screamed “violation of rights!” for the least little slight, I would never have to work again. Given that your principal felt threatened enough to have you escorted off campus after threatening to call the police (which I disagree with - it doesn’t sound like you came off as threatening), you got off relatively easy.

107

Well I would have LOVED that shirt!! But the principal is right, it is offensive. Why would you wear something like that to school anyway. I get that you paid for it with your own money but you should have known that, that shirt was not something appropriate for school. I used to have a shirt that had a pot leaf on it (back in my immature days) but this leaf was about as big as a quarter and i knew before i even went to school that day that I was more than likely going to get into trouble for this shirt (which i did) i was suspended for 2 weeks actually because i told my principal flat out that I wasn’t changing my shirt.

I don’t believe she really had the right to take and keep the shirt, she should have just made you put on a different shirt for the rest of the day and put your old one in your locker or back pack or something and never wear it to school again. .

But at least you know now what will happen when you wear such provocative apparel to school. Do you think you’d be able to walk into work wearing something like that? No, i’ll bet not. Then why attempt it at school? I would definitely talk to your principal about getting the shirt back and just don’t wear it to school any more.

108

So what do you guys think?

Is the OP representative of what portion of his age/education cohort?
-it is easy to write him off as a whiny, attention-getting punk, who is not interested in society’s traditional institutions such as school, but is he an outlier?

What are the chances he will learn anything from this experience, and if so, what will he learn?
-it sure looks like he is some ways from understanding coultural mores which will allow him to join and contribute to most traditional job/school situations. How many more run-ins with authority will he require before his rebel spirit gets broken?

And then - the big question - how is this person going to eventually fit into society?
-What are his future plans? School? Work?
I truly wonder what sort of job the OP expects to get, and how he expects to get there. For his sake, I hope he is truly gifted in some respect which he has managed to keep hidden in this thread, or that he enjoys a very generous support system.

109

Here’s my take, for what it’s worth:

Is the OP representative of what portion of his age/education cohort?
Probably. I remember trying really hard to be edgy and different at 18, along with everyone else (so much for different, huh?).

What are the chances he will learn anything from this experience, and if so, what will he learn?
I don’t think he’ll learn anything from it alone. My opinion is that it’ll take a lot of experiences like this and some maturing to understand that “Sticking it to the Man” has its time and place, and this is not it.

And then - the big question - how is this person going to eventually fit into society?
I think it’ll probably turn out average - ok job, family, kids…eventually. It takes a while, though to get out of the “You’re not the boss of me!” mentality and into a different frame of mind. I’m sure that, after graduating college, assuming he attends, he’ll understand that no one appreciates “different” on company time. It sounds like it might take a few smacks, but I’m sure he’ll get it eventually. Most people do - some just take longer than others. The ones that don’t wind up living in the basement, playing video games and wearing their semi-pornographic shirts while eating Cheetos until they wonder what the hell happened to their lives. I hope that doesn’t happen.

That’s just my take on it, though.

110

Why don’t you take the time to produce a clear, cogent post that conveys your point. It might affect the way some of the others respond to you. Your posts so far do not let us know why you wore the shirt in the first place, or how you think the situation should have been handled. Also let us know what you have learned from this experience so far.

111

Most of you are defending my principal saying “Oh, that’s a bad shirt. I’m glad your principal took that shirt away.” Well, to me, that shirt is art and different people look at art differently. To you guys, it is bad- “Ooh, I would never let my kids wear that!” Well, they will wear what ever they want.

Well, anyways, today I went back and asked for my shirt back in the most respectful way possible. I said "Um, excuse me. “May I please have my shirt back? I will not wear it on campus, and I’m going to return the shirt for a refund or credit.”

She said “No. I’m not giving you back that shirt. It’s pornographic and you are sexually harassing me.”

I said in response, “It’s my shirt and I won’t wear it. I just need my shirt so I can return it and get my money back.” She said “No! I’m not giving it back.” Basically, she was screaming at this point.

After that she entered her office. I brought in my friend’s mom to try to get my shirt back and the principal still said " No! I’m only giving it back to your mom." My friend’s mom had to leave.

I stayed to ask for it again and the principal called my mother, but my mother said not to return the shirt. I said “I’m 18. It’s my property. Why can’t I get my shirt back?” She said " I’m not returning the shirt and I’m not giving you anything for the shirt."

Then I said “It’s my property and what your doing is stealing from me. That is theft.” At this point she began to scream and lose control. “If you don’t leave my office I’m going to call the police and show them the shirt so you can get arrested for sexually harrassing and bringing pornography to the school campus and exposing minors to pornography!”

I asked “You would have me arrested for a shirt that I wore and I’m asking politely to have returned?” She said “Yes!” So I state again “But it’s my property and your are stealing from me.” She said “Prosecute me, then.” Then she called security and had me escorted off campus again.

First off, I don’t think this is right and I respected her. So what should I do now?

OK- this probably has errors, but it sure is easier to read. I don’t think the original would have received a passing grade had it been submitted for a high school essay in any class.

112

I still highly doubt that a school has the right to indefinitely confiscate the property of an adult. It certainly has the right to determine what is appropriate for display on its property.

ETA: What if there was a rule against electronics in school? Could the principal refuse to return a confiscated iphone or something? You really think that an adult (even under the jurisdiction of an in loco parentis authority) has the right to permanently remove something worth hundreds of dollars?

113

Unless there is an agreement between the school and the parents that items that fall under certain categories can be confiscated, and inappropriate attire falls under that category.
Another factor is his record-Other than this incident, have you kept your nose clean, Chillafrilla?

114

Oook if she’s threatening to call the cops on you for a “pornographic” shirt which is not really considering the shirt doesn’t show anything except a woman putting her hands in her shorts.

Why don’t you get her ass on recording yelling at you saying the crap she does over this shirt and call the cops while you’re at school and have them meet you there and play the tape for them. . ? Odds are you’ll get the shirt back

I really don’t believe she has the right to take and permanently keep something like that. Why make such a big deal about it?? It’s a damn t-shirt. It’s not pornographic it’s just provocative and while yes insulting and degrading to woman i’m sure she’s seen worse than that just out in public on a daily basis. . .

She especially has NO RIGHT to “scream and yell” that’s out of line and completely uncalled for, for a school principal. Unless you a really bad trouble maker at that school i don’t get why she would act like that. She should have more respect for the school system because if i had a principal act toward me like that we would have some big problems.

You’re an adult she really has no right to be acting that way. (My opinion)

115

But then what proof is there of her screaming, other than the well thought out and well written posts by the OP.

116

Well yea but that’s why i said record her. If there is proof like a tape recording of the yelling and screaming the cops will be more likely to side with the OP, school principal or not they shouldn’t act like that to a student

117

No-I think you are being asked why you believe his account of the story, considering the way he has posted in this thread so far.

118

Ok, I have a few pieces of advice.

  1. Keep friends’ moms out of this. They have absolutely no standing to ask for anything at all on your behalf. And bringing one along is a defacto admission that you don’t consider yourself an adult.

  2. Keep YOUR mom out of this. The T-shirt is yours and you are a legal adult.

  3. Write a letter to your principal – SLOWLY AND USING CORRECT GRAMMAR! Explain that you do not contest her confiscation of the T-shirt on school property and you will not wear it to school again. Tell her that while she had the right to seize it on a temporary basis, it remains your property and you expect it to be eventually returned to you. Propose at date by which it should be returned to you, and ask her for an alternate date if she finds your date unacceptable. Tell her that you will consult an attorney if she doesn’t reply in a timely manner with an acceptable solution.

119

Oh haha. I don’t really believe anything unless I have hard facts. But I guess what I meant was that if that’s the way the principal is really acting get her ass on recording because i believe something like that would have her fired in a heart beat (at least I know it would in my town)

120

It doesn’t matter that the OP, or anyone else, is 18 while in school. The school policies are enforced equally and the administration has the same power they would have over him at 17.

A person can not sign themselves out of school or do permission slips or sign grade reports, to my knowledge of Nevada law and while I was in school in the midwest. That would cause an absolute nightmare on campus.

If the OP were to have a permanent address and be self supporting, I suppose things would be different with the signature requirement, but that would have to come first. At least that was my understanding of the law applied out here.