No place owned by a TV chef is fancy. TV chefs aren’t on TV because they’re amazing chefs, they’re on TV because they can read lines with personality. TV chef restaurants try to seem like fancy, high-end establishments but they are managed by the caliber of executive who’d be managing a theme park restaurant.
The reason the food wasn’t very good, cost too much, and the waitstaff probably seemed flustered and unaware of protocol, is because it was a Disney Land version of a fancy restaurant.
Going to a restaurant for a party is a bad deal in general unless it’s either very well below every person’s price range (dive bar) or the thrower has arranged to pay for everything.
When my vegan brother and his vegan wife came back into town for a baby shower, my overbearing mother decided the party must be at a local “all vegan” restaurant. Of course, of the 20 guests, only the two people were vegan, so 90% of the people were uncomfortable with the food. Most handled it well, in fact the mexican dishes were quite good, but then again since the restaurant was about 10 square feet, our table for 20 took up the whole dining area and was quite cramped.
Fortunately, though, overbearing mother put the whole thing on her credit card in advance, so at least people didn’t have to worry about the prices. Which was good, because a lot of the relatives would have scoffed at the $10 dirtburgers and would have just shared a few appetizers instead. Since the obligation of paying is removed, nobody’s got to be neurotic or waiting for a chance to escape before the next course or round of drinks.
Think of it like this, if you were having a birthday party at home, would you charge your guests to pay for their portion of the food? That’s socially forbidden. Inviting them to a fancy restaurant and having them pay is the same thing. The general idea of throwing a party is that you’re paying so everybody can have a good time.
I’d wager an evening at home with a bag of pretzels, a few delivered pizzas or a party sub, and a game of Scattegories would be a better time for all than spending 3 of 4 hours waiting and everybody having to pay for their own Mickey Mouse fine dining.
A real nice restaurant could do a fixed menu for an event like that. You, the host, pay X up front, everybody gets to choose between two or three entrees (which, between everybody, equals X), and then guests can pay for their own drinks. In fact, restaurants usually love doing that, because when guests aren’t paying for their own food they’re usually getting a lot more drinks than usual, and drinks make them more money than anything else.
In short, don’t do what the birthday girl in OP’s story did.