The joke used to go that if you played a country song backwards you would get your job, truck, dog and wife back. In pop country it seems that there are many songs about getting back at the man, usually resulting in the guy’s death. (Note, not The Man). The first time I noticed this was Martina McBride’s “Independence Day.” I felt the fool when a roommate showed me, “Thunder Rolls” as a man shooting video. There have been others, most recently Miranda Lambert (Gunpowder and Lead) and Carrie Underwood (Before he Cheats).
I know the men have had their shot, (Guns and Roses, “Used to Love Her” and Jimi Hendrix, “Hey Joe”) but what is with this man killing fantasy?
Also, have I missed any songs?
I am not sure where this should go, so Mods, move if needed.
Don’t forget that bouncy, pop country tune from the Dixie Chicks “Good bye Earl”, about killing an abusive husband. My not-very-perceptive idea is that the songs are empowering, at least, perhaps for the women who need or want that kind of power and do not have it.
It is all about empowerment. I think for quite a while the common thought of the Country Woman was the “Stand By Your Man” type. Country gals aren’t like that anymore. We are our own people who won’t take any crap from anyone… especially abusive jerks or cheaters. You’ve got GRITS (Girls Raised In The South) riding around in big trucks with bumperstickers that say “Silly Boys, Trucks are for Girls”.
Carrie Underwood’s “Before He Cheats” is interesting. I think if the genders were reversed it would not longer be a cute little joke about a woman getting back at a man it would be an example of misogyny. Maybe people have complained about it but I haven’t heard it being as I’m not a big fan of country music. I do recall hearing a few complaints about “Goodbye Earl”.
I got into an argument with the wife over “Before He Cheats”. I said that Underwood (or at least her character in the video) was a big wuss if she had to wreck the guy’s car behind his back as some form of revenge. Yeah, she drops his keys in front of him (vehicle unseen) but doesn’t stick around thereafter. The weakness that passes for empowerment these days… :rolleyes:
Some women get off on the idea of wreaking violent revenge on a man for cheating or dumping her.
And, if you look at the movies- generally it’s romantic for a woman to cheat, and eviil for a man to do. Look at Bridges of Madison County and Titanic.
For some reason ‘‘Thunder Rolls’’ and ‘‘Independence Day’’ don’t bother me (and let’s not forget ‘‘The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia’’ while we’re on the topic of woman murderers.) I think it’s the difference between smugness and sadness. The songs are telling a tragic story, not really an endorsement. I’ve always taken ‘‘Let Freedom Ring/Let the white dove sing’’ as darkly ironic–the kid lost her parents for crying out loud. ‘‘Before He Cheats’’ is a different ballgame, it’s smug and immature and even though it doesn’t involve killing I think the message is worse. Country music also has a lot of videos playing revenge for comedy – ‘‘Goodbye Says it All’’ is a good example, with the woman hilariously destroying all the man’s personal property (and videotaping it, the dumb bitch.)
I see songs about violent women, but I don’t think they are any more common than songs about violent men. For every ‘‘Thunder Rolls’’ there is a ‘‘Mama’s in the Graveyard, Papa’s in the Pen.’’ I see room for argument, though, that the woman’s violence is portrayed as somehow justified.
There is a very interesting segment on violent women in the book ‘‘The Meaning of Wife’’ by Anne Kingston. In the book Kingston points to the glorification and victimization of abused women who resort to violence–a woman who kills her abusive husband is more likely to receive pity than vilification. Not to mention the countless Lifetime movies who push this image of the vengeful woman. She saw this as essentially infantilizing and insulting to the woman, an implication that women should somehow to absolved of responsibility for their actions because they are emotional and vulnerable creatures incapable of making rational decisions. I hate songs like ‘‘Before He Cheats’’ because I don’t think behaving like a vengeful bitch, for whatever reason, is funny or empowering. If anything it’s the opposite–’‘I’m so angry I can’t control myself!’’ (or worse, ‘‘I’m so angry I don’t care if I hurt someone!’’) – not empowering. Embarrassing.
I would venture a guess that this kind of message is more common in country songs than other types of music because domestic abuse is more common in Southern low-income families, and that demographic accounts for a large majority of the people listening to and creating this music.
It’s not a violent woman, but along the same lines is “Guys Do It All the Time” by Mindy McCready.
There’s plenty of violent men in country, even if often the songs don’t focus on them. Toby Keith, for example has “Beer for My Horses,” advocating vigilante justice, and “As Good as I Once Was,” glorifying his prowess in barroom brawls*. Brad Paisley’s current single, “I’m Still a Guy” has him punching a guy for groping his girlfriend.
The country version of female empowerment is girls doing what guys do. It’s the entire basis of Gretchen Wilson’s popularity.
SHEDaisy has a few: Lucky 4 U (in which the singer responds to her ex’s claim that she’s got multiple personalities by detailing what each personality would like to do to him – one would key his car, etc.); and “A Night to Remember” (in which the wife kills the husband on their seventh anniversary because she’s found out that he’s cheating).
The video for Goodbye Earl should include the disclaimer: "Lyrics stolen from the plot of “Fried Green Tomatoes”
I’ve noticed that, ever since Shania Twain’s Any Man of Mine, it has become de riguer (sp?) for every female country singer to record an “empowered woman” song. And they just get more and more violent with each new song.
Of course, the backlash to all this is that now every male country singer is apparently required to sing a song about his daughter. The idea being, I assume, to calm these vicious broads down
That’s nothing close to what I said. Please to be not putting words in my mouth.
Country music came from the South. It started out as the music of low-income rural white people, and though it’s spread beyond that demographic now, it’s still strongly rooted there. I’m not sure that needs arguing or a cite; it’s pretty well-known.
I don’t know for a fact that domestic violence is more common specifically in Southern low-income families than other low-income families; I shouldn’t have said “more”. I do know from experience living there all my life that it is fairly common, and it doesn’t really matter how common comparatively.
And not all of us trailer-dwellers are bumpkins. FTR, I hate country music. I KNOW! I’m not a stereotype! Imagine that!
OK, on topic now, I’m uncomfortable with female singers going on about asshole men and how they either kill, harm them or destroy their property. Like someone upthread said, if the role was reversed, the man would be vilified.
It’s not an entirely new phenomenon: Frankie shot her man down, and there is “Pistol Packing Mama” who is about to do the same to her deadbeat man. I suspect there are other examples–I am no expert.
The man is hardly vilified in all country songs about murder, even when the man is singing about murdering (or the desire to murder) a woman. Here’s snippets of songs off the top of my head (full lyrics not posted for obvious reasons)
I dreamed about killing you again last night and it felt all right to me. (Via Chicago, Wilco*)
And if I could move I’d take that gun and put her in the ground (Ruby, Kenny Rogers)
He never had the brakes and he was shifting gears (Papa Loved Mama, Garth Brooks)
The yellow-haired lady was buried at sunset. The stranger went free, of course, (Red Headed Stranger, Willie Nelson)
If I hadn’t have shot poor Delia I’d have had her for my wife (Delia’s Gone, Johnny Cash)
I plunged a knife into her breast and told her she was going to rest (The Banks of the Ohio, multiple artists)
Man you should have seen their frantic faces, as she screamed and cried please put away that knife (The Cold Hard Facts of Life, Porter Wagoner)
With feelings hid, you know she begs me not to hit her (She’s A Jar, Wilco*)
And I’m sure there’s many, many more. Pretty much all of these songs have one constant theme–bitch had it coming. Men are definitely not excluded from singing violent revenge songs or murder ballads.
*technically alt-country, but close enough for my purposes.
There’s a very long-standing tradition of murder ballads in folk and country music, but until fairly recently most murder ballads have been sung from the male perspective about killing a woman. Moreover, they used to be based on true crimes.
I think this is a pretty straightforward shift into murder-ballad-type songs, sung from a female perspective and in most cases telling fictional stories. Same themes, though.
