Virtue signaling? Cowardice? Or other (race relations topic)

A small outdoor sofa.

There’s an audiobook version. You could listen on your way to and from work. Or spend the 10 minutes you’d be on the SDMB on reading. Maybe it’s a matter of priorities. I thought from your OP that this was a really important issue to you. Perhaps I misunderstood.

Oh and one other thing I have heard from the “coward” commentators, that she broke the “rules” and I should have simply told her to vacate the seat. This sounds like those who argue unarmed black people that get shot by cops should have just “follow the rules”.

These were not “rules” it was a request. This woman for whatever reason did not accept our request, knowingly or not, so there was no enforcement value behind any action to ask her to not sit. There was no basis for show security or the police to back me asking her to not sit down, unless I asked her to do so and she created a public disturbance, which again could have lead to a media story that could have been ugly for us.

So again I ask what benefit was there for me to say something? And I do have to say those that are asking if it was a white woman that sat down would I acted the same (probably would), seems like there’s a hint of entitled white racism in those comments.

So if I don’t read this ONE book that you demand I do, I’m in the wrong.


So it was two seats, and it was a loveseat, and it was a small outdoor sofa.
Was it also an army cot and a church pew?

Of course not. Google lists of books recommended for white people trying to understand race relations, and you’ll find others. This is the book most often found on those lists. And I’m not demanding anything, as I’m sure you know. I’m simply saying if you really DO want to understand, you’d be willing to do more than post on a message board.

But maybe it’s not that important to you. Maybe you didn’t really mean it when you said you might “try even harder to see it from someone else’s view.” Or maybe you came here looking for approval for your action or inaction during the furniture incident. Or maybe you just wanted to argue with people you thought might disapprove of your take on things. (After all, this IS the Pit.) Or all of the above.

Best of luck.

To be fair to the OP, a loveseat is a small sofa with two cushions. It’s entirely possible they are attempting to describe the same thing in different ways to make it clear to someone that doesn’t seem to get it.

And that’s literally all I have to say about this entire thread given it’s current location.

My apologies for incorrectly stating this was the Pit.

These issues where race is concerned can get so complicated in their implications as to make this aging white male wonder whether to address the topic at all; and also I wonder is this is any longer Mundane & Pointless in these troubled (in so many respects) times?

To move to something related to this somewhat, the to mask or not in public places issue, now less controversial, with the vaxing making many of us less worried about infection, when this subject was hot as they come a few weeks ago, and this past winter; in a local variety store I spend some time in up the street from me, there were a small number of (as it so happens) black males in the store who would not wear masks, nor even buy one (for fifty cents) got themselves ordered to leave the premises immediately and in no uncertain terms by the mother of the Indian-American owner who was working the cash register.

In this instance,definitely a conflict, and lucky for everyone, not racially tinged (though I do think there was a subtext, albeit incipient), strictly speaking it was people of color versus people of color (after a fashion), thus the police would favor the owners, as it was a matter of public health, not civil rights, and the black guys were behaving in a somewhat hostile manner to the store owner. The anti-maskers left soon thereafter, to the great relief of every person in the store regardless of skin color.

Sounds like she was the smartest one under the pergola. She sees a seat. Sits. Leaves those standing flustered.

Um, no, because Rosa Parks sat in a place where only white people were allowed to sit. In this case, no one was supposed to sit in the chairs. The sign said, “please do not sit on the furniture”, not “whites only”. That’s about as different, not similar, as it could be.

No, no, no, no!

Black woman sits where she’s not “supposed” to. – exactly the same


If it’s your job to protect anyone from this mass shooter event, it’s your job to protect her, too. So yes, in this case the reason is relevant. Since (in this hypothetical) the “do not sit” rule was for an important safety issue, you shirked your duty as an employee and as a human being by letting her sit in the dangerous chairs.

That’s exactly why the reason is relevant. Because we might, in fact, have different opinions as to how right or wrong you were to run away based on why this rule was in place.

What negative outcome came from her sitting down? Nothing as far as I can tell, except a couple of people got mad that someone wasn’t obeying a sign.

I think this is the real question to meditate upon. As a white person I have some entrained tendency to follow the posted rules no matter what, to assume they are of some value, to assume that awful things will happen if I don’t follow the posted rules, and to presume that the rules are all applied equally. In the past I’ve gone out of my way to inform others that they are breaking the posted rules.

I don’t do this anymore. In point of fact, most non-governmental posted rules are at best pointless and optional. Occasionally they’re even discriminatory! So I now weigh them like: “The sign says not to sit down, but I’m tired and I want to sit down, and it won’t hurt anyone, so I’ll sit down and find out if it really matters.”

And you know what? It almost never matters. Break rules, mess around, find out.

If he didn’t want to say he shouldn’t have brought it up in the first place.

Just interested in getting the details straight. You clearly want to tell us something but your story is a little fuzzy still.

As the OP seems uninterested in actually exploring the issues he has raised, and in explaining what was actually going on at this event; And as others seem determined to veer off topic; it seems this discussion is over. So I’m closing the thread.