My company took part in an outdoor garden show this weekend, and as part of our display we placed “Please do not sit on the furniture” signs on the chairs we had as part of it (there are many reasons for this which for now does not appear germane to the story).
Furthermore, the furniture was under a pergola where there was a lot of shade, and many customers stopped to rest within the protection of the pergola, many while making joking comments about not being able to sit.
Out of nowhere, despite the signs saying otherwise, what appeared to be a fairly healthy and definitely black woman sat on the furniture. You should have seen the looks and heard the snickers from the white people under the pergola.
I immediately snuck out of the display. As a middle aged white man, not only was I not going to ask a black woman to not sit on our furniture, I immediately feared one of the other costumers would make some smart comment, or worse, demand I tell her to stand up.
The last thing I wanted to get involved with was being part of a news story where the mean middle aged white guy told a black woman she could not have a seat in our display, and how that would paint me and my company with enraging headlines. Not only that but my company would then have to defend itself saying it was clear there were signs asking her to not do so, and fair or not, me possibly having to fall on a sword for PR reasons.
That was my flight-or-fright instinct, however when I took that break from our display, a more enlightened thought crossed my mind: how many times in her life has this black woman been told by middle aged white men where to sit, where to stand, what she can do, what she can’t do? Why should I be part of that regardless of the publicity issue I was concerned about?
At the end of the day, I returned to the display, and she and all the white people that saw her sit were gone anyway. There was no invasion of black people taking over all the seating, or a bunch of white people taking over the seating to say “if they can we can”, and hopefully there was not a white outcry, it appears it was simply a black woman either not seeing or ignoring all the signs and harmlessly cooling off her heels for a few moments.
The one thing this minor incident taught me is as a white man I need to spend extra time thinking about how to interact with minorities, and while today worked out, be prepared that the next time the circumstances might be more complicated and try even harder to see it from someone else’s point of view.
Thoughts?