I am a racist street merchant

For the many Dopers who do not know, on the weekends I set up a vending table where I give away my artwork. I give it away because I enjoy the act of giving (I am so not altruistic), and it frees me to create without worrying about clutter. I am licensed and insured and all that, and even pay taxes on the little money I receive. I set up my table after I go to yoga class, in a location when the street crowd is busy and receptive to weirdness.

The crowd is pretty diverse. Mostly middle-class white folk, visiting from outside of the city. I overhear conversations, so I can tell who’s local and who’s visiting based on the things they say. Most people pass by my table without even noticing it, but occasionally it pops up in a pedestrian’s field of vision and they stop. They read the little sign I have, saying that everything is free, they exclaim “NO FUCKING WAY!”, then either take something and leave a donation or nudge the person they are with to take something, and then both run away gleefully. Usually most people who stop end up taking something. I don’t really interact with them because I position myself far away. I have found that I get better “business” when I’m not sitting right next to the table. It makes the whole thing seem more whimsical when I’m not there and people are less inhibited.

So today I set up. It’s a beautiful day here, so I knew the crowd was going to be thick. And I was proud of every one of my creations and anticipated that I wouldn’t leave empty-handed.

About 30-40 minutes after having set up, engrossed in my Kindle, I looked over and noticed this family sitting down on the raised curb right next to my table. A black family. A whole heap of folks. A couple of little kids, a couple of teenagers, and a woman who looked like she could be everything from their mother to a babysitter to an older sister. And they were right next to my table.

I instantly got irritated. Why were they sitting there? Why not move just a few feet away, so that they weren’t blocking access to my stuff? They had the whole length of the block, and yet they’d chosen my area to have their little picnic. Move, dammit.

But then I checked myself. Why was I getting irritated? It’s not like they were going to be there forever. It was clear they were just eating lunch or whatever. Besides, anyone who wanted to visit my table could still get to it. They just had to avoid other people’s feet on the way there.

But I was still not amused. I wasn’t bothered enough to feel compelled to ask to them to move (it’s a public sidewalk, after all). But I was irritated enough to keep glancing over at them from my Kindle, wondering when they were going to leave.

A little thought came to me as I searched myself for the source of my irritation. I realized that there was some racism driving my reaction. I was worried that the Black Family Reunion was scaring off people. Because I kept noticing that no one was even glancing at my table with them sitting there. The family wasn’t doing a damn thing but eating, mind you. But there was this nagging feeling that nonetheless, they were scaring away the business. Which includes people looking for freebies. I was scared of chasing away cheapskates!

So I dug deeper, examining this awful realization. Would I have this same feeling if they were a white family? No, I wouldn’t. White folks have plopped themselves next to my table too, and while I didn’t really like it, I don’t think I’d ever felt irritated. In fact, I may have felt that their presence was good because it would attract customers by magnifying the “scene”.

I wondered if my fear was reality-based rather than stemming from my own bias. Are there some white people who don’t like black people? Yes. Do these people only visit “fancy” places in the city–like the street where I had my table set up–to ensure themselves of a black people-free existence? Sure. So is it irrational to think a crowd of black people could scare off customers? No. It’s perfectly rational.

But why would I want those people to be my customers!?? Especially since I’m not trying to make money. Why would I want to give gifts to people who don’t like people who look like me? So I can’t blame other people’s racism for my own reactions. I have to own up to generating them all by myself.

This was the conversation I had with myself just a few minutes ago. The family eventually did leave, people did come back, and I did get to go home empty-handed, just as I had wanted. And now I have something else about myself that I need to work on. Like, confronting the fear that my own racial appearance is what keeps me from sitting next to my artwork.

I’m wishing I had gone up to the family and welcomed them to take whatever they wanted. That would have been the nice thing to do instead of seething.
Just wanted to share a mindless, pointless, senseless story with ya’ll.

When I was a kid, I saw my Dad making up stories to black people about why he couldn’t rent to them – he owned a building where we live in one unit and rented out two others. The story was pretty much always the the same – that the last people who looked at the place had taken it, so it wasn’t available anymore.

I was appalled, and when I challenged him on it, he told me that other people in the neighborhood would burn the place down if blacks moved in. I thought it was just bullshit, but over the years I saw it happen more than once. I saw more examples where, so the rumors went, the owners burned their own houses down for the insurance because property values had gone down so much that they could better deal from the insurance company than the real estate market.

Last time a walked through the old neighborhood, maybe fifteen years ago, it seemed like half the buildings were abandoned burnt out shells. The property is so worthless it’s not even worthwhile to demolish the shells and build a new home.

I still don’t really know what to think of it all, except that maybe I was judging my dad more harshly than he deserved. OTOH, he was an asshole in many ways besides that, so I don’t feel very guilty about it.

Dude, I wouldn’t worry about it too much. A) The fact that you realized that you were being a touch racist is a pretty good indicator that you aren’t a rabid racist. 2) Everyone has a little elitism in them somewhere, whether is racism or intellectualism or whatever; I think it’s just part of having an ego.

I had a similar moment the day after 9/11 when a Middle-Eastern-looking guy walked into the cafe where I worked. When he walked in the door I had a split-second of fear - that gasp feeling when your breath catches and your blood runs cold - then immediately thought “OMG WTF Juicy what the hell is wrong with you?!!” I always felt bad about that initial pang and prayed he didn’t notice. So you’re not alone with that feeling, and the good thing is that you realized it and checked yourself and did some soul-searching.

Don’t get me started on 9/11!

I’ve told this story before, but here goes: Right after 9/11, I pulled up into a gas station and the guy who filled my tank was Sikh. I remember thinking to myself, “Poor guy. I bet he’s been catching all kinds of hell lately.” He saw that I had a window sticker identifying me as a resident of the apartment complex where he lived, and he asked me for a ride. I thought to myself that he could probably use a break, given how mean everyone was probably being to him, and opened the door for him.

We travel a block down the street and that’s when he asks if I’m black.

“Uh…yeah?” I say. And I instantly get that funny feeling that I’ve just fucked up big time.

He goes on this horrible tirade about how the blacks in Newark are “niggers”. About how all “they” do is have drugs and sex and spread AIDS. Now mind you, I just told this man that I’m black. And the both of us live in Newark, so I’m one of the “Newark niggers” that encompasses all blacks. AND I’m giving this fool a ride in my nigger car, using my nigger gas, wasting my nigger time, so I will be nigger late to my nigger class. But I keep my nigger mouth shut, because I can’t fight myself out of a paper bag and he’s all het up about the niggers and lord knows what magical Sikh weapon he has hidden in his turban.

I let his ass out of my car when we get to his building, say good-bye, and then drive off. I was in tears by the time I got to the end of the block. And then I reveled in the most racist thoughts. Like wishing all the Indian/Middle Eastern/People of Swarthy Hue would just blow up themselves already so that the rest of us normal people could go about our normal lives. It felt wonderful, being so hateful. But then I got back to school and shut off the faucet of hate so I could function in front of my students–many of whom were of Swarthy Hue and very good, decent people.

I vowed it would be the last time I would let guilt dictate the kindness I show towards strangers. Even if he hadn’t been racist, he could have been a serial killer.

Maybe you’re just a little hyper sensitive right now. I think current events in the news have a lot of people sort of raw at the moment. I know I feel a little beat up emotionally.

Have you ever posted any of your art, Monstro? I’d love to see your stuff.

When I was selling my previous house my nice and pleasant neighbour asked to please not sell my house to black people.

Of course I would have if I had gotten a bid but the gall of some people really is remarkable.

It sounds like you’ve had bad personal experiences with racists, so I can see how it might have caused you to internalize negative feelings about race and especially about how white people perceive black people. Since you’ve posted before about how social interaction is not something you enjoy much, I kind of wonder if bad experiences with racism in the past might play into why it’s hard for you to get much out of social situations. If you find it hard to trust other people to like you as just a person and not to focus on your race, then I can see how it would be hard to enjoy their company.

My personal viewpoint is that being judgmental of others is probably a universal human trait, but not all of us are judgmental about the same things. I don’t think that racism is innate to people. There are plenty of racists out there still, but also a lot of people who view other races as just other normal people.
I think the thing is that racists draw attention with their behavior. Someone whose behavior towards black people is neutral or positive isn’t going to draw attention in most situations the way someone who goes on a rant about how bad black people are would.
Maybe there are white people who have passed your artwork because they were uncomfortable around black people, but there may also have been others who were intrigued by your art because it was created by a black woman or didn’t care what your race was and just liked the art for what it is. It’s a lot easier to notice the negative experiences though.

I don’t think I have a distrust of people because I perceive racism from them. I have been quite fortunate not to have encountered a lot of overt racism in my life. Annoying shitty remarks, usually uttered about someone else or another group, yeah. But nothing to make me go home and cry.

And I’m not 100% certain I have a fear about my race scaring off people. There are much better reasons why I might make people uncomfortable (uncontrollable grimacing is a new one that I’ve been dealing with). I am racially ambiguous enough that I don’t think I’m that intimidating to the typical prejudiced person. But people generally don’t like dealing with the “unknown.” And I do look like an “unknown”. Every time someone asks if I speak English, I’m reminded of this. So it would be crazy for me not to entertain this thought, at least just a little.

Idle racially-based story:

About two months after 9/11, in the middle of Manhattan, one of the young Arab-looking men (Syrian, IIRC) who ran the kebab stand in front of my office building started wearing a T-shirt which said “NYPD sensitivity training volunteer”. I thought it was hysterical and ballsy beyond belief.

On the other side, I had an NYPD friend who was tasked with baby-sitting the National Guard forces that were patrolling the NYC subways during this time. Most of the Guardsmen were from rural areas, and many of them were very young. He had many conversations that went like this:

National Guardsman: “He looks suspicious! Let’s question him!”
NYPD representative: “He’s a punk. They all look like that. Chill.”
NG: “He looks Muslim!”
NYPD: “He’s Hispanic. Probably not. Not all brown skin is Arab, okay?”
NG: “He’s got one of those funny hats! He’s definitely Muslim!”
NYPD: “Yup. We have those around here. What’s your point?”
NG: “He’s got a funny hat AND he’s wearing a huge trenchcoat! Definitely suspicious!”
NYPD: <sheesh>“He’s an Orthodox Jew. And if you accuse him of being Muslim, we’ll have a riot on our hands, so could you PLEASE CHILL OUT.”

You sound like a nice person who is confronted with your own human frailty. You were concerned that this family was influencing the traffic to your table, thought about how the general public’s stereotypes might contribute to that issue, and that you saw how those stereotypes had a racial basis - i.e., you wouldn’t apply all the same stereotypes to a white family.

Connecting the dots from a perceived personal slight to racism seems more ambitious than this warrants. And your closing thoughts above are nice. Go with that.

Be good to yourself. I’d be interested to see the art.

I would definitely chalk it up as something I need to work on.

Don’t know if you ever get to the point where you don’t have such feelings. Your response is telling. You recognize that these feelings are coming from inside yourself. You ain’t proud of them, and you are not blaming the black people for “making” you feel that way.

I think an actual racist would have congratulated themselves on their obviously correct perceptions, marveled that everyone else wasn’t thinking the same thing, and held the black folk responsible for starting the whole thing. The “whole thing” being the massive blowup that followed an actual racist’s inability not to speak or act on their racist feelings.

mine!

I would too, I just wouldn’t be loosing any sleep over it while it was being worked on.

You don’t have to worry about that.

It’s not weighing heavy on my brain or anything. I operate under the assumption that of course I have racist tendencies. It is pretty damn hard to be raised in this society and not have racist tendencies.

You live and you learn in this life. The next time, I know what not to do. And then I will reach enlightenment.

Pretty!

Enjoy: Housing discrimination.

Very nice. I especially like the tiled pots.

OMG, that sort of happened to me too! I posted about this before. After my dad died and I was trying to figure out if I could afford to keep the house. My next-door neighbor came to ask if I was going to stay. She said, “Well, you know, if you decide to sell, [my husband] can sell it for you.” That was the first main reason I decided to stay – if he sold my house, he’d have to come inside my house, and he was creepy as hell. Plus my dad had been dead for about a week and she was soliciting commissions for her nasty husband? Sleaze.

So I said that I hoped I would be able to stay. And she said, “OK, but if you decide to sell, please don’t sell to black people.” So of course I immediately thought about finding a nice black family, preferably with a teenage son who played guitar with enormous amps, to sell to, but then I thought, why would I do that to a nice black family? I just walked away.

I still live there. She died about 10 years ago, and her nasty husband died a couple of months ago.